Thursday, July 5, 2012

THE POWER OF WON'T by Silver Rae Fox

WILLPOWER. There’s always so much “ado” about it.  You want to lose weight? Use your willpower. You want to break a bad habit? Use your willpower. You want to achieve something? Use your willpower. You need courage to get something done? Use your willpower.

The definition of willpower is “the ability to control oneself and determine one's actions” (World English Dictionary), which implies that if we are to be successful in most things we need this ability, right?

That was a trick question. It sounds right. However, I’m inviting you to entertain the thought of having what I am going to coin as “WON’T POWER”. Now, I know you are wondering what the heck is “WON’T POWER”? I am glad you asked.  Let me explain.

Consider this: WILLPOWER seems to require an insightful look at behaviors in ourselves that we must examine and manage, especially when we recognize that those behaviors are seeking control regarding a particular situation.  For instance, let’s day you have decided to diet.  Typically, when you feel hunger and a desire for food that doesn’t fit your diet plan, you counteract, or fight the urges with “willpower”. Therefore,  attempting  to resist eating whatever it is you want to treat yourself to.

Likewise, if you have a habit you want to break, maybe it’s biting your nails. Once you realize your fingers are headed toward your mouth, the first thought that kicks in is that you have to use “will power” to stop this nervous behavior.

Or, suppose you have a goal, but you keep thinking of reasons to not forge ahead.  Everyone keeps telling you that you have to have the “will power” to make it happen, and even you know yourself that's partially and probably true.

All of these scenarios imply a proactive approach to achieve something. The problem is that in so many cases like the ones I’ve described, you just don’t always know how to come up with enough of this “willpower” from within to combat all of the existing “messaging” that lives inside your head, let alone knowing how to keep responding and reacting to it at full force. 

I have a discovered a different theory that I believe can help you achieve results faster and perhaps, permanently. It’s a technique I use. I call it the POWER OF WON’T.

The thing I like about this is that the word “won’t” has  an underlying sense of defiance in it. It sounds strong and commanding. It means “NO” in an emphatic way, depending on how you are using it. So, with that in mind, I propose this to you:  Is it easier to look a piece of your favorite cake and say with bold resistance “I WON’T eat that”, or to be in a struggle, arguing back in forth with your desire to eat it using "willpower"? Here’s my point:

Your Desire: “I want that cake.”

Your Willpower: “Yes, but you really shouldn’t eat it.”

Your Desire: “I really want it”.

Your Willpower: “Yes, it looks very good, so maybe a little slice will be okay.”

Your Desire: “Yes, I agree…just a little slice will be good!”

Well, if a little slice of cake isn’t in your diet, your willpower didn’t win.  I believe that depending on the circumstances, WILLPOWER is not nearly as effective as WON’T POWER:

Your Desire: “I want that cake.”

Your WON’T POWER: “I WON’T have cake. It’s not something I can eat on my diet. I WON’T EAT IT.”

See the difference? It’s a mental “twist”, but it works. I know this isn’t true for everyone, but WILLPOWER seems to leave room for negotiation in our psyche. WON’T POWER has NO negotiation structure. NO MEANS NO. WON’T MEANS WON’T. NO ARGUMENT. You don’t give yourself an OPTION…you say “I WON’T”.

Imagine the results you would get if you started today, right now, using the POWER OF WON’T, and began using it defiantly, boldly and with conviction and resolve:

“I WON’T let anything stop me from getting to my goals.”

“I WON’T have foods that WON’T aid in my weight loss.”

“I WON’T let this habit have control any longer. I WON’T DO IT ANY MORE.”

“I WON’T  be the victim of a bad relationship. I WON’T BE AFRAID TO LET IT GO.”

“I WON’T let fears get in the way of my dream and destiny. I WON’T LET ANYTHING STOP ME.”

“I WON’T behave the way I have been behaving with my spouse (or friends, or co-workers, or whomever).  I WON’T ACT THAT WAY.”

Now, I suggest you try it right now, not necessarily out loud, but in your strongest inner voice say it:

“I WON’T __________________!”

How did that feel? Convincing? Say it again. How did it feel that time? Determined? If so, you are on your way to discovering a new level of POWER within, the POWER OF WON’T, and I can promise you if you stick to your guns every time you come face-to-face with your issue, your WON’T POWER is going to win. 

Here’s another little bit of advice, and I am being somewhat humorous here. If you are headed to the kitchen to see if my theory works while you’re staring at cake, I’ll assure you it does. Just give it “the hand” and as you walk away say “We WON’T be meeting like this anymore. I WON’T be letting you treat like I’m someone who doesn’t know my power. I JUST WON’T.”

Yes, I  talk to my TEMPTATIONS. I talk to my OBSTACLES. I  talk to the DISTRACTIONS. I talk to cake, ice cream, butter, bread and all manner of good gooey stuff that attempt to win my attention. And, you know what? I WON’T BE DETERRED BY ANY OF IT.  I JUST WON'T.

Enough said. Think about claiming YOUR WON’T POWER, one temptation, obstacle, distraction and goal at a time. Something tells me that in no time you’re going to be really good at this!

S.R.F.
CLICK HERE for Silver's audio motivational message "STAY IN THE RING"!

video

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

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