Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The Challenge to Fear Less: Master Your Mindset



What scares you? Change? Challenge? Crisis?

Most of us are faced with times in life when we feel scared. It could be because of a change, traumatic event or facing uncertain circumstances. The reasons are many, but the question that comes to mind is "How do we overcome it?"  Are there ways to face life more courageously and live more securely and boldly? 

Recently on "Master Your Mindset", TV host Cassandra McShepard and I discussed how fear attempts to control us. The biggest first step toward freedom is, of course, coming toe-to-toe with your issue. Face it. Head on. Tackle it. Fight it. Beat it. Will that be easy? No, however, it boils down to who will win the fight, you or the fear. To win, you must put your energies into facing it and fighting it. Here are a few starting points:

Is it REAL, or False Evidence Appearing Real?

1. It is something to really fear, or just a perspective? Is it just a misguided thought? They say that most of what we fear futuristically never happens. Perhaps, the fear is only a misinterpretation of things to come. If you realize it is, let it go.

Do a SELF-CHECK
2. Have you done your research? One of my greatest fears was flying. I did some homework. I did some rational thinking. I applied some logical thoughts and perspectives. I concluded that I was ruining some perfectly wonderful travel times with my fears. Could something possibly happen? Sure, but the likelihood of that possibility was extremely slim. Maybe whatever it is you fear has even a lesser chance of occurring. Make a logical and rational decision to change your perspective and start moving toward getting free.

Live and LEARN
3. Don't let thoughts of failure, falling and flat-lining stop you. We sometimes put on our best hopes and dreams on hold because we don't think it will succeed, or we dread falling and not being able to get back up. We even think we may give ourselves a "heart attack" if what we desire doesn't turn out to be everything we dreamed of. Learning through failure and falling is a part of success. Even flat-lined dreams are brought back to life with a enough effort and resuscitation. No one wants to fail, but don't let your fear cause you to fail to go after your dreams.

Whether it's change, challenge or crisis, fear can be met head on and conquered. It may be one of the toughest fights you will ever experience, but it will be among the best victories, too. Take the bull by the horns. Take the proverbial leap. Stand up to your fears. Make the decision to fight more and fear less.

~ S.R.F.


Thursday, October 31, 2013

GOT A DREAM? STIFLED BY SELF-DOUBT?

Is doubt overwhelming your ability to get what you want out of life? Do you keep dreaming your dream, but you don't act on it? Is your doubt outweighing your determination?

Doubt can and will deter your dream. Doubt can distract you from your goals. Doubt can destroy your self-esteem.
Every time you know you should make a move, you stop dead in your tracks and question your abilities instead of confidently forging ahead.

I would "if"...

Doubt is often disguised as, "I would have if...", or "I could have if...", or "Someday maybe I will...". I once heard someone say, " 'SOMEDAY' is going to be a very busy day. Everybody's going to show up!" While we are finding a reason, making excuses for why we stand off and stand back and let life pass us by, everyone who believes in TODAY, not SOMEDAY, is SOMEWHERE making their DREAM happen.


Turning doubt into determination begins with a single decision-making step, a decision that says, "Yes, I'm going to do this!" Why not make that decision, and then get yourself excited about the positive choice you've made? Your excitement and enthusiasm will fuel your flame. The next thing you know, you will have a BURNING DESIRE to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN in a way you never had before.
 

 "Maybe"...
STOP wishing. STOP wondering. STOP waiting. STOP "WHY"-NING over imperfect circumstances.STOP going back and forth within yourself about whether you should or should not, whether you can or cannot. STOP doubting what's going to happen. STOP dwelling on past and future failure. STOP the "MAYBE syndrome": "Maybe I will." "Maybe I won't." This MAY BE the time something happens.


You can do it!
You have a DREAM. It's YOUR dream. It's YOUR SELF-ESTEEM, SELF-DETERMINATION and SELF-MOTIVATION that CAN make it a reality. Reach for it. You can do it, WITHOUT A DOUBT.


S.R.F.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Want to be Sucessful?

FOXOLOGY TODAY interview with Jean MacDonald! Listen Now!

Jean MacDonald says Get Up, Get Dressed, Get Out the Door and Get Connected!

Jean MacDonald is a force. When it comes to setting goals and reaching them, she let's nothing stand in her way.   

Jean MacDonald
In my recent  interview with her on FOXOLOGY TODAY, Jean talked about strategies for reaching goals and what it takes to be successful. Of course, you have to have a plan, she says. Then, Jean also recommends these "must do" actions that can help you excel:

1. Look for opportunity. Don't wait for doors to fly open. Know what you want to do and get going after it. 

2. Build relationships. Get connected to the right people who can help, and create mutually engaging and strategic partnerships. Cultivate those associates and find ways to help each other. 

3. Listen. Watch others who are doing what you want to do. See how it's being done. Listen to their advice. 

4. Grow your communication skills. Participate in activities and groups that increase your ability to communicate, such as Toastmasters. The better you can communicate, the better you are at relating to people, clientele and customers. Great communication skills enhance your ability to negotiate, as well as your ability to increase sales and strengthen ties.

5. Get connected. Find someone great who has your best interest at heart, who is willing to mentor you and help you with building partnerships. And, remember that the "fortune is in the follow-up". Stay in touch with business associates, your customers and clientele list on a regular basis. 

6. Ignore the naysayers and never compromise. Everyone won't want to support you, and they will make that obvious. Don't be stymied by those negative mindsets. Stay on top of your game, and don't sell yourself short. 

7. Get your mind off the present situation when necessary. When you feel overwhelmed, and you will, give yourself permission to "escape" the demands of business and work life for a while. Take the time you need to relax and re-group. 

8. Have a daily "road map".  Live with a to-do list. Jot down what needs to happen, and make it happen. 

9. When things aren't going "right", focus on what you have done well. There will be times when you get discouraged, or even seem to fail. These are the times to focus and re-focus. These are the times to evaluate and re-evaluate. These are the times to re-visit, re-think and perhaps, re-define your direction, plan and purpose. Particularly, remind yourself of your accomplishments and achievements, and how capable you are of pressing forward.

10. This is your game. This is your journey. Your path. Your pursuit. Your life. Be you, and be your best at it. Do everything you can succeed, and do it well. It will show.

Jean MacDonald began in the insurance industry, where she went from making coffee to making millions in her own insurance business by age 35. After eventually selling that company in 1998, her aspirations took her to soaring heights with the Mary Kay Cosmetics company.

Not one to stop short of reaching any of her goals, Jean's successful endeavors continue as she reaches another pinnacle on her journey as the popular and noted author of  "Get Up, Get Dressed and Get Out The Door".

Jean MacDonald is also a member of Toastmaster's International and holds the honor and recognition of "Distinguished Toastmaster", a designation held by less than 2% of Toastmasters worldwide.

For more information on connecting with Jean, visit:

~ S.R.F.

CLICK HERE to catch up on FOXOLOGY TODAY!
 

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Kelsey Scott: "12 Years A Slave" Actor Talks About Her Newest Role

Kelsey Scott, Actor and Screenwriter
She is impressive. She is beautiful. She is smart. She is well-spoken. She's a movie star.

Those were my initial thoughts when I met "12 Years A Slave" co-star, Kelsey Scott today.

Not knowing quite what to expect, I exercised two seconds of caution as we were introduced. As my instincts kicked in, I smiled and gave her a hug, sensing an extremely warm and friendly demeanor coming from her. 

As she smiled and hugged me back,  I felt the same kind of natural and genuine affection that I have often felt from my own daughters, an almost childlike embrace. She was sweet, but also had swag. She was graceful and elegant. I could tell she was special. I knew this was going to be a fun afternoon.

For the next two hours I talked with Kelsey about lots of stuff. We laughed a lot as she shared short stories and insights about herself and about her life, but her new movie and her love for her art were what we talked about most.

Her eloquence and her way with words amazed me. She phrased her thoughts without having to ponder or think very hard, and so much of  it seemed simply profound as I listened. I finally got around to asking her how she got started in acting, and her response was no surprise.

"I have been acting since I was six. I was a ham, and my mother looked for some way to channel it." At that early age, with the help of her Mother, the theatre became her first venue and love. As they say, after that it's all history. Today, she has become a successful screenwriter and actress.

With little provocation, Kelsey brimmed over with pride when we talked about "12 Years A Slave".

"I loved working with Steve McQueen," she said blushing, as she confessed that she also has an "actor's crush" on him. She clarified it as "artistic", a professional admiration that she feels about him.

"It was wonderful to work with him. He really trusts his actors. That they've done their homework and they'll be prepared.

"He trusted us all as artists. Joe Walker, the film's editor, says that Steve 'loves you into doing your best work.' I felt that. It's true."

When asked what did she appreciate most about doing the movie, she was at no loss for explaining what impacted her most.

"I read the book first, of course. I asked myself, 'how is this going to be reflected in the film?' The movie is very true to the book. It is the actual story. To 'connect' emotionally, I thought about how I would feel if I was accused of a crime that I didn't commit and had everything taken away. My freedom. My comfort. My privileged life.

"When you watch it, it's hard to deal with that, but it's the truth. The word the press has been using to describe the film is 'harrowing'".

Having heard that the movie had so many tough and brutal scenes, and some viewers were being quoted as saying that it was to difficult to watch. Some supposedly have said that they had to walk out because of that. I asked how did she feel about some of the negative feed back.

"I have immense respect for Steve for not trying to make this story palatable, but to make it true. The press is right. It is a harrowing story. But there's hope in it. That's what you're feeling, that he (her husband, played by Chiwetel Ejiofor) will somehow get out of this situation. It really is a story of hope."

Landing her role as Mrs. Anne Northup required flying back and forth from Los Angeles to New Orleans several times before the deal was sealed. The first audition was actually for a smaller part. One callback led to another callback, and that ultimately led to a bigger role as Anne Northup, after making an impression on the director. It's a role she embraced and is still pinching herself about.

"I am so proud to be a part of the film. So humbled."
                       

~ S.R.F.

Watch the trailer!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Got Anger? Wait a Minute...or Longer.

Do you have one of those tempers that goes from zero to sixty in less than five seconds? Are you constantly feeling like you have to put someone in check, and you actually do it? Are you the person who is ready to start a fight and finish it? If so, Whoa! Wait! I want to talk to you for a minute.


Do they call you the "B" with the bad attitude?
The potential for damage being done is at high risk when we lack management of our emotions. We hurt people, most times it's people we love and care about. We damage relationships with significant individuals that sometimes leaves them broken beyond repair. We destroy ourselves, because our personality "flaw" becomes who people around us begin to label us as, the "b!#&*" with the bad attitude, or the person with anger issues. In the end, no one  wants to become the brunt of the brutish, uncontrollable behavior you splatter everywhere. 

Anger and attacks have to be managed by the individual, not always by the circumstances. Circumstances can't be allowed to dictate our behavior. We recognize situations, yes. We respond to them, yes. We react to them, yes. However, HOW we recognize, respond and react is key:

1. RECOGNIZE that you will never have complete control over things, people and stuff. Stuff is going to happen, whether it is self-imposed or not doesn't matter. People are going to do their thing without your approval or permission. It is not worth the emotional energy and turmoil trying to "make" situations go the way you think they should. Keep your blood pressure and your anger in check when things and people don't seem to be cooperating. It can be disappointing and frustrating, but the fact is, you are harming your own head and health in the process. 

Try this: STOP. Wait a minute. Seriously. As soon as you feel the anger rising up, STOP. Don't yell. Don't scream. Don't break anything. Don't hit anybody. STOP. Go somewhere alone for a minute and and reel yourself back in.

2. RESPOND with more EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. That means THINK.  That means THINK WISELY. That means THINK WISELY and don't go off. The real issue may not be what is happening. The real issue may be how you are handling it. Wait for a minute, and just THINK. Do you really want to create additional drama? Do you really want to be seen as an out-of-control crazy person? Do you want to lose whatever may be at risk, i.e., your job, your friend, your relationship, your reputation? I'll answer that for you: NO. Start teaching yourself to respond with more calm, and you will see that you will have better outcomes.

3. REACT by choice. You must DECIDE how you are going to react when you feel the anger demon coming on. Let's say you are driving and suddenly you see that you are about to hit something. What's your immediate reaction? You hit your brakes, of course, and make every attempt to not go head-on into it. Well, that's exactly how you are going to have to train yourself to react in every situation when you feel like you are about to "hit" something emotionally. Put on the brakes. Wait a minute. Make every effort to not go head-on into your tirade. DECIDE to swerve left or right, and miss the encounter altogether. Deciding to say nothing or just walk away is a mature way to avoid a collision.

Many people don't believe that they can control their tempers, but you can. Your temper doesn't have a mind of it's own. YOU rule it and over it. You can tell it what to recognize, how to respond and how to react. Remind yourself to WAIT A MINUTE when  you feel the temperature rising. If it takes a few seconds longer, that's okay. That's all the time you need to dodge a collision, and save yourself and everyone else  from any possible damage. A minute is all you need to get to a "cool", safe place in your head. Get to that place, and stay parked.

~ S.R.F.

Silver Rae Fox is a personal and professional development expert and coach, author, and the radio host of FOXOLOGY TODAY on Blog Talk Radio. If you would like to have Silver scheduled to speak or participate in your next in-person, television or radio event, email your request to silver@silverraefox.com, or contact the Pastorini-Bosby Talent Agency at 713-266-4488.

Catch up on FOXOLOGY TODAY! Click on any episode to listen:


Monday, September 2, 2013

Is Your Life More Labor Than Love?

Is life feeling mundane and like a drag? Are you feeling pooped and overwhelmed? Are you wanting the world to stop so you can get off?

Take a breather. Take a break. Take it all in!
It's true that our day-to-day stuff can get very challenging, but there are simple ways that we can take ourselves from under the undue pressure of it all. Sometimes we just need a breather. Sometimes we just need a break. Sometimes we just need to take a backseat and let somebody else do the driving for the day.  I've been there, and I hear you saying, "yes, yes, yes", too! 

So do it! Take a breather, a break, a backseat. It doesn't have to be hard. Here are a few things you can do:

1. If you love it, do it. 
You are most inspired when you are doing things that you love and enjoy, things that fill your heart with meaning and purpose. Spend some time giving insightful thought to what those things are, and spend more time doing them, even if it isn't for profit. It's the "doing" that gives you a sense of fulfillment when you're engaged in those things you truly love.

2. Challenge your habits. 
 When we live so routinely,  as so many of us do, we can get trapped into believing that "this is all there is".  Well, it's just not so. Deliberately, do something different. If Saturday is laundry day, put it off until later and do something more fun with friends or family. The laundry can wait. The fun is worth it.

3. Spend some time alone. 
Take a day off from "normal life". Take off on a one-day excursion by yourself. No family, friends or associates on this trip. Perhaps, you could visit a town nearby. Make it a point to make conversation with new people you encounter. See new things. Sit in the park or on the water, and just watch the scenery. Whatever you do, don't grumble. Don't complain. Don't worry about things. Take in the moments, and appreciate the break from the norm. You will feel a great sense of refreshment, and a bit of that extra energy that you needed.

Yes, we must take care of ourselves purposely and lovingly. As often as you can, escape from the norm and do the things that fulfill your heart. Take a real "break-away". Enjoy the people who are most important. Refresh yourself, by yourself. Plan some quality time away from it all. You will fall in love with your life all over again, and again! 
~ S.R.F.

Silver Rae Fox is a personal and professional development expert and coach, author, and the radio host of FOXOLOGY TODAY on Blog Talk Radio. If you would like to have Silver scheduled to speak or participate in your next in-person, television or radio event, email your request to silver@silverraefox.com, or contact the Pastorini-Bosby Talent Agency at 713-266-4488.

Catch up on FOXOLOGY TODAY! Click on any episode to listen:


Tuesday, August 27, 2013

It's Time to Get Your Life, Career and Business in Tip-Top Shape!

Dr. Laureen Wishom is an accomplished and successful businesswoman who practices what she preaches. Her new book, "FIT, FINE & FABULOUS in Career, Business and Life" inspires us to take who we are and what we do to a whole new level of living. 

She shares unique principles, guidelines and strategies that are easy to comprehend and even easier to apply. 

Having learned how to live out loud herself, Dr. Laureen Wishom epitomizes her own powerful teachings and provides "FIT, FINE & FABULOUS" as an inspiring road map for every woman who wants to lead a fuller, more successful, and more fabulous life.  

Silver Rae Fox and Dr. Laureen Wishom
www.DrLaureen.com
CLICK HERE to hear my interview with Dr. Laureen "Fit, Fine & Fabulous: A Prescription For Success" on FOXOLOGY TODAY!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

I've Got "BEST" Wishes For YOU!


You see yourself from every "angle". You know your good points. You know your bad ones. You know what you would like to better at. You know what you want to improve in your life. Chances are you want the best . You can have it. It's likely you want to be your best. You can. 

Most of us are always in a growing mode. Because of that, there are reasons for which we must remember to keep shedding our old leaves and focus whole-heartedly on growing beautiful, healthy new ones.  It requires continually nurturing ourselves, and when we do, we become strong and we flourish. We become our best selves. To experience positive self-growth and change, those are the reasons.

Here's a few tips on getting there:

"B" is for BEGIN Begin today to praise yourself for every single thing you have ever done well. When you really BEGIN to think about it, that list will probably be pretty long. Remember every compliment, every good grade, every time you accomplished even a little thing. This exercise will have you feeling your best in no time.  

 "E" is for ENTHUSIASM. I can remember years ago when I read Norman Vincent Peale's book "Enthusiasm Makes the Difference". The message was powerful for me, and I took it took heart and put it to practice. Being enthusiastic means you turn up the volume on yourself, your personality and your life. It means shining brighter. It means smiling more. It means being happy on purpose. Being enthusiastic took me from being a "good" person to the best person I could be. It can do the same for you.

"S" is for STRIVE.  Strive to be your best. I know there is nothing original about that phrase, but the truth is you really do have to strive for it. It won't just happen. It doesn't just happen. It happens because you put the work in on yourself. You become what you strive to become, whatever that choice may be. 

Challenge yourself. Challenge your thinking. Fight your fears. Push past what seem like limitations. In other words, STRIVE. The best "you" shows up when you do.

"T" is for TRUST. Trust is a critical element in self-confidence.Trusting yourself, trusting your decisions, trusting your gifts and talents, trusting in your efforts to grow, develop, plan and pursue the best things in life are important for any and all of us. 

When we are indecisive, insecure and inconsistent, it takes away from our ability to be proactive and confident. Have faith in yourself. Trust that you will handle life well, regardless of the outcomes. You're at your best when you can trust yourself to be the captain of your ship. You're at your best when you know you can trust yourself to confidently ride with the tide.

If it's what you need, I'm wishing you a new BEGINNING. BEGIN NOW.  

I'm wishing you ENTHUSIASM that will make a difference in YOUR life. Don't be afraid to shine more.  

I'm wishing you the wisdom and the will to STRIVE for what you want. Put the work in. There is more ahead for you. 

I'm wishing you the TRUST to move forward confidently with life and the things that are important to you. No more doubting. Believe in yourself. 

I'm wishing that you become the BEST "YOU"  you can be. Look within. It's already in YOU, so flourish!


~ S.R.F. 


All content, articles and entries in this blog are written by Silver Rae Fox© 2013 for FOXOLOGY© 2013. Copyright laws apply. All Right Reserved.

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Monday, May 6, 2013

DIY: "Do It Yourself" Miracles

Miracles happen. Yes, they do. Do you believe you can create your own miracles? Well, you can. The key to the miraculous is understanding a few different trains of thought:
  • A miracle is a God-production.
  • A miracle is a self-production.
  • There are miracles of the "moment".

The miracles that are "God-productions" are supernatural. They happen without human interaction or assistance. In fact, these kinds of miracles defy human logic, effort and understanding. They are uniquely a Divine occurrence that is recognized as having no other possible origin than God.

"Self-production" miracles are different. These miracles originate in us as desires, dreams and goals. They require preparation, planning, pursuit, effort and work. They happen because we apply a strategic design to the process made up of our logical and practical approaches to success and principles that are built on faith, patience and our human will. Our successes and accomplishments are seen and experienced as "miraculous results" when they happen.

Miracles of the "moment" are some of the real attention-getters. These are the daily divine influences and interactions that can occur in the normal activities, routines and happenings every day:
  • Something seems "coincidental". 
  • In an unusual way paths cross unexpectedly, but you realize there is a purpose for it. 
  • A thought crosses your mind, an inclination to do something.
  • You see something that triggers a thought or action.
  • You're "in the right place at the right time."
  • You know that something is occurring because it's "meant to be."
  • You know that you hear or see something that is "help" or guidance for you. 
These and many other divine influences and inclinations are often the very first step toward a miraculous happening. Our job is to pay attention and react, being careful to not just blow them off as a quirky thought or happening. They are miracles in the making.

Miracles do happen, and you can create your own. Be open to the possibilities. Be ready to move in the moment. Be ready to roll-up your sleeves, because creating your miracles will more than likely require some time, faith, action and effort. The good news is that you will get your miracles. And, yes, more often than not you will have to work at it a lot harder than God does.

S.R.F.        
Listen to internet radio with FOXOLOGY with Silver Rae Fox on BlogTalkRadio

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

IT'S YOUR YEAR TO SOAR!




It’s your year to soar! Yes, it’s time to disconnect the ball-and-chain that’s holding you down and take off in the direction of your greatest hopes and aspirations! It’s time to drop “dead-weight” thinking and turn your thoughts toward everything you’ve dared to imagine you can become. It’s time to find your wings and take off into a glorious New Year with a positive attitude, outlook and determination. Ready to fly? 

What?! You say, “Not yet!” 

Well, here’s what you do: ask yourself, “What’s been stopping me from forging ahead in the direction of my dreams and goals?” Those answers will be revealing, if you’re honest about it. You’re scared. You’re unsure of yourself. You don’t have enough money. It’s not the right time. It’s too late. It was my dream back THEN. I’m too old. I have to wait until the kids grow up. I can’t get the help and support I need. People will think I’m crazy. 

All of those responses may sound “true”, but are they really? Of course, I don’t know enough about your life to say if those are true answers or not, but I can say that there is a possibility that they may not be as accurate as you think. The truth is that none of those things have stopped some of the most successful people around from realizing their goals and dreams. They THOUGHT beyond their fears. They THOUGHT beyond their insecurities. They THOUGHT beyond their current “shaky” financial situations. They THOUGHT beyond waiting for “perfect timing” as the most important factor.  They THOUGHT beyond accepting that it’s “too late” and courageously embraced the power of “now”.  They THOUGHT beyond holding onto hesitancies of reviving a goal, thinking they were too old, waiting for the kids to grow up, waiting for help, and worrying that people around them would view them as crazy. You see, the thinking that talks you out of doing what you want to do is a “ball-and-chain mentality”. It keeps you from moving ahead with any vigor, confidence or faith. As a result, you do nothing. You accomplish nothing. Nothing happens, at least not until you break the chains.

Next, DECIDE to break free. Give yourself permission to take a step in the direction of reaching your highest hopes. Allow yourself to begin moving in the direction of your future’s highest ideals and greatest “transformation”.  Write down what you will look like, what your dream fulfilled will look like, what your aspirations when realized will look like. See it, not just in your mind’s eye, but in your heart. Wherever it is that you want to be in life and whatever it is you want to become, see yourself there now. Be determined to change that ball-and-chain mentality into a “butterfly” mentality.  that is getting in the way of your best vision for yourself. You know, it’s intrinsically ingrained in a caterpillar to transform into a butterfly, and I believe it’s intrinsically ingrained in you to soar, too. You have to believe and act on it. It starts with you; even with the tiniest of little steps you will begin your “lift-off” into an inspiring flight.

Lastly, you may not know every right answer as you do your soul-searching introspection about your future plans, but I can tell you that the negative self-talk that prevails in your thinking right now is definitely giving you the wrong ones. Shut down that thinking today. Break those horrible, dead weight balls and chains of unbelief off your mind. And, whatever you do, don’t permit yourself to hesitate just because everything isn’t absolutely crystal clear just yet.  I want you to remember this: the ability to soar doesn’t come because you know all of the answers about how to fly. Ultimately, you soar because you believed that somehow you would. It’s time. Right now. Stop worrying. Stop wondering. Stop waiting. Start flying. It’s your year to soar!

S.R.F.

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