FOXOLOGY

2012-02-01T02:30:00.000-08:00

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2012-02-01T00:18:00.000-08:00

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A NEW YOU? REALLY?!

2012-02-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

It's February 1^st, already. It seems like it's only been a minutesince we made all those New Year’s resolutions. Yeah, it was just last month.How time flies when you are trying to do life, and keep up with what you saidyou would do to be a “new you” this year! A “new” YOU…really? That is what you said, isn’tit?

I imagine some of you swore off "sweets", while others decided to stopeating chicken or something. My guess is that millions of us faithfullyconfessed we would lose weight and exercise more, launch a dream, learn todance, watch less TV and finally write "that book", cook at home moreoften, find the “right” job, save more money, set up a budget, give more,volunteer, go to church, make more time for yourself, make more time for otherpeople, climb a mountain, plan a trip, stop bad habits, give up SOMETHING, and,of course, we vowed to be just plain better at just about EVERYTHING under thesun.

That was then. This is now, only thirty-one days later. The resolutions arefeeling less and less important, if not forgotten, and you are about to be yoursame “O.K. self” once again. You’re flat lining on your 2012 promise at theexpense of not doing that fantastic “thing” you want to do, or becoming thatfabulous and fierce somebody you vowed you were going to become this year, and from now on. My, oh my. Say it isn’t so!

Well, whatever it was that you decided would help you "do" moreand "be" more, I wanted to offer you a little encouragement to staythe course, stay on the wagon and stay committed. Some of us just need a littlere-charging, if you will. I get it, so here goes:

1. YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO DO THIS! And now you're feeling what?Like giving up and giving in? GOD FORBID! Change ain't always easy. YOUCAN DO IT! Don't depend on anyone else to help you make this happen. YOU MAKEIT HAPPEN! Other people can encourage you and support you, but I suggest YOU beyour own coach and cheerleader. In other words, be IN IT TO WIN IT, BABY!

2. “IT'S NOT GOING TO MATTER IF I DON'T DO IT”. It mattered on January 1st, and now itdoesn't??? O.K., that's enough of that backdoor attitude! If your resolutionwas spoken earnestly and honestly, don't try to slip out the back way onyourself as if no one else will notice. Maybe no one else will, but you knowthe deal. Just because it feels a little hard and challenging, DON’T ALLOWYOURSELF TO QUIT and say it doesn’t matter. Remind yourself of all of the reasonsthat IT DOES! You’re worth it. You deserve it. You need it for your very ownimportant reasons.

3. SELF-IMPROVEMENT CAN GO A LONG WAY. When you set special goals foryourself and you accomplish them, it really does make you feel better aboutyourself, all over. You feel good. You feel happier. You feel prouder. You feelmore fulfilled. You feel important. You feel more complete. You feelself-assured. You feel confident. You feel like a conqueror. Life can even feelbetter. NEED I SAY MORE? You wouldn’t want to trade those new and wonderfulfeelings of SELF-ESTEEM and ACCOMPLISHMENT for the world, would you? I didn’tthink so.

So now, let’s do it again: RE-COMMIT. Re-commit today, and re-committomorrow, and re-commit the next day, and the next day after that. Yes,sometimes it can be a real challenge to stay on track and take yourself to yournext level, but you want to be a “new you”, right? YOU CAN BE, and you betterbelieve it! HAPPY NEW YOU, Friend!

S.R.F.

Emotional Intelligence: How SMART are you behaving?

2011-10-24T15:33:00.000-07:00

The other day I was preparing to teach a class on Conflict Resolution, and as I scanned my notes before start time I had an interesting revelation regarding Emotional Intelligence. If you don’t know, emotional intelligence is the learned ability and capacity to understand and manage your emotions. It also means having a good perception and understanding of the emotions of others. That morning it occurred to me that the whole world would be a much different place if we were truly able to master the concepts that emotional intelligence theory suggests.

Behavioral scientists tell us that it is no easy matter to stay in control of our emotions. It takes work to get in touch with yourself that deeply. It takes practice, especially for those emotions that don’t seem controllable. It takes a high level of proactive forethought to manage the outlandish range of furor we experience on any given day and at any given moment. We tend react without thinking so much of the time. We respond to people and situations without first stopping to analyze our actions and words. We do and say stuff in response to life, circumstances and situations that fall way short of what could be called emotionally intelligent. However, the good news is that we can learn how, and we can learn now.

Why is emotional intelligence important? Well, consider a few scenarios I’ll describe for you. The other day I saw a man inside the Target store call his wife “stupid” several times. “That was stupid. You’re stupid. You are SO STUPID.” His wife hung her head slightly, offering some excuses for her “stupidity”. I kept looking on. I had a surprised and displeased expression on my face and said to myself, “NO HE DIDN’T. He did not just call her stupid out in front of all these people.” But, yes, he really did. In my opinion, there was no consideration for her feelings, or the fact that they were out in public and everything he was saying could be overheard. I felt her hurt and embarrassment.

On another day inside Walgreen’s, a woman totally lost her cool while talking on her cell phone. She was yelling at someone on the other end, using curse words that I had never even heard before. She walked around for several minutes picking up items, while still raging wildly. She even stood in line still crazed and cussing. She barely paused from her tirade to search for her wallet and pay for the items she was purchasing. She left so emotionally charged up that it was scary. When I walked out, I saw that her car was close by the entrance and she was inside gesturing wildly and still screaming obscenities. WHEW!

Sometime ago I was at the post office standing at one of the counter tables working on a mailing project. It was around seven o’clock in the evening in late November, so it was already dark outside. A man came inside with a little boy who looked to be around six or seven years old. The man walked with a limp, almost dragging one leg in a slow, but even stride. He had a stack of mail in his hand. The little boy seem so excited to be with his Daddy, and was jumping up and down and skipping around like kids do. I smiled when I heard him say, “Daddy, can I put the mail in?” He was now jumping up and down in place as he made the request. His Dad gave him an interesting look of disregard, and put the mail in the drop box himself. The son offered up a quick pout, and a few words of disappointment, and said “You said I could do it.”

I was still smiling as I looked on, but within a split second I saw this man ball up his fist and hit his son square in the face, hard, knocking him to the floor. The little boy shimmied fast away from his father, scooting backwards along the floor. The man moved as fast as he could, dragging that bad leg, but nonetheless moving more quickly than the boy. Next came a kick. Then, another kick. The boy got up crying and ran outside to the car. I stood there speechless, and frozen in fear.

It was dark and the parking area was dimly lit, but I watched the man head to the car. It was then that I realized that Mom was in the car, too. As I watched from the doorway, I saw her put her arms around herself in terror. She was frozen with fear, too, and unable to come to the defense of her son. I started crying, but through my tears and shock I was able to see the license plate number. I could not believe what had just happened. I regret to this day that I wasn’t able to do anything in the moment.

A few short weeks ago, I heard about a conflict situation that had every appearance of becoming very ugly. This was a professional situation where an individual was planning a physical confrontation against another Individual that could potentially result in a crisis in more ways than one. The anger level in this person was all self-escalated, a situation where his own self-talk had sent him into an emotional place that had him believing that he had to defend himself against “something” the other man was going to do to him. It was all a matter of poor, irrational perception, not reality at all. All of it was made up in his own mind. The other individual was not instigating any threats against his accuser, and he had no idea that his very life could be in danger at the time. This is sad, but true.

Well, I think you get the point. These scenarios are irrational. They lack emotional control. They lack emotional intelligence.

Of course, not all encounters are so escalated and violent, but they can be just as damaging nonetheless, to ourselves and others. Everyday incidences cause us to lose our tempers, get frayed, irritated, and come apart at the seams. We get pressed for time. Traffic is congested. Work deadlines are pending. The kids are acting crazy. People strain our nerves. Arguments arise. Things don’t go as planned. Misfortunes occur. We get bad news. We feel that we are at the end of our rope. The pent up emotions rise up into actions and before we know it, we’ve said or done something that could have been handled totally different if we had not lost our head.

For the good and bad of it, it is apparent that we are highly emotional beings. It’s in our makeup. Fortunately, most of us are rational in our thinking and doing on a daily basis. We’re not walking around trying to create drama or devising ways harm someone. Unfortunately, some people are not as capable of controlling their emotions, and that’s when anything and everything can happen from the outrageous to the unbelievable.

Can these individuals win the emotional war against themselves? The answer is yes. They can learn to think and react in much smarter ways. Using emotional intelligence is so necessary for our lives, relationships, peace of mind and overall happiness. When we use emotional intelligence, we create harmony. We show regard and respect for others. We love out loud instead. We are easier to live with. It’s easier to live inside our own heads as well.

It takes work, but here are a few ideas that can help us start reacting S.M.A.R.T. now:

S: STOP and START. Yes, just stop it. STOP screaming at people. STOP being angry at everything. STOP abasing everybody and cursing life. STOP harming yourself and other people. TELL YOURSELF TO STOP. Get counseling if you need it, but just STOP IT. START “STOPPING” NOW. Life will feel better sooner than you can imagine. You will, too.

M: MANAGE your attitude and emotions. Choose kinder words. Use them on yourself first. Instead of telling yourself all of the reasons that validate bad behavior, tell yourself, “If I’m kinder, people will be kinder to me. If I treat others well, I will feel good about myself. If I show love, I’ll feel the love in return.” Compliment instead of condemning. Show affection instead of anger. Have more faith and less fear. Be understanding instead of uncontrollable. Pull your own leash whenever you have to.

A: ADD positive things to your life. There are a gazillion books available on managing anger and irrational behavior. There are groups that meet frequently at hospitals and clinics to discuss difficult issues if that’s your challenge. There are therapies that can address what you are feeling. Find positive solutions that will help you get yourself and emotions under control. Don’t be willing to trade a lifetime of happiness for something you can decide you’ll change. YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR EMOTIONAL RESPONSES.

R: REALIZE that you were not born that way. That behavior is a CONDITIONED RESPONSE, which means your angry words, your irrational thinking and your angry reactions are more than likely learned behaviors due to your environment and people who handled you that way. YOU CAN UNLEARN IT.

T: THINK. THINK. THINK. THINK. THINK. THINK. THINK FIRST. THINK MORE. THINK LONGER. THINK and then SPEAK. THINK and then RESPOND. THINK and then DO SOMETHING. THINK and then REACT. THINK and then WALK AWAY. THINK and then CALM DOWN. THINK and then UNDERSTAND. THINK and then SAY TO YOURSELF, “I AM EMTIONALLY INTELLIGENT.” It’s an age-old concept. USE IT. STOP AND THINK before you open your mouth or before you come out swinging. THINK!

You can start today. You can start right now. Get control of your emotions and get control of your life. You don’t have to be a condemner of others, or someone who rages out of control, or a person who hurts and harms others. Instead, be SMART. Be smart enough to choose a better and brighter path to wonderful and successful interactions with everyone around you. Don’t hesitate to take this important step toward a happier and healthier life for yourself. You’ll feel so proud when everybody sees your intelligence is showing. You’ll also be a part of a wonderful, changing world – yours.

S.R.F.

Silver authors all of the articles at www.silverraefox.com, and also positive quotes at www.thepositiveprinciple.com . She has also self-published two downloadable books, an audio e-book entitled “Colored People” and “Talk Productive: A Guide for Speaking Excellence”. For additional information, visit www.shop.silverraefox.com .

2011-06-23T17:00:00.000-07:00

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I'M JUST SAYIN'

2011-06-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

Are You Concerned About The Size of Your "P-Ness"?

O.K., now that I have your attention, let me make this disclaimer: "P-Ness" is not meant to be gender specific or sexually defining in any way. Any such perception in incorrect. It's just a play on words to make a point.

Anyway, in this case, here's a working definition for you: the "P-Ness" I'm referring to is "an individual's personal or professional POWER, perceived, earned or otherwise."

POWER CAN BE A STRANGE THING

People want power, or at least, to feel powerful. We desire positions of respect and achievement and of course, it's healthy to feel that. We want to feel that we have accomplished something in life, or feel that we've made an impact in the world or to others around us. That's well-rounded thinking, too. Those things heighten our sense of having personal and professional power, and having that power is a good thing when you understand how to utilize it. However, sometimes strange things can happen when we get it. Even stranger things can happen when you don't. And, it gets really bizarre when you're about to lose it.

Consider a few scenarios, like Charlie Sheen, for instance. Sadly, Charlie thinks of his "P-ness " as really big, bigger than the people who made him powerful. But, you know what they say, the bigger they are...

And, what about these foreign leaders? Apparently the size of their "P-ness" has gone to their heads. Their egos far outweigh any sensible measure of what power really means and how it should be used. Enough already. Even as I write this, CNN is reporting "HEADLINE NEWS: Gudhafi Clings to Power." Still clinging...geeeeeez. Let it go already.

Then you have the old "perception is reality" theory. There are all manner of crooks who feel the need to show their "P-ness" to the world. They break the laws, steal money, identities, live fake, luxurious existences just to "appear" powerful. It's crazy, I say. Just plain crazy. I think most of could say that we really don't care how big their yachts are.

MEASURE FOR MEASURE
Yes, when the desire for power is unhealthy, it's crazy. Thank God that most of us are not like the guys I mentioned, but the real deal is that the tendency to measure your power, or "P-ness" against others is everywhere. We need to feel important, valued and significant, but things happen like losing jobs, businesses, relationships, money and suddenly we can feel zapped of our power.

When these things occur, they cause us to feel "less than". We feel "less than" other people, "less than" our neighbor, "less than" that successful person we saw on TV. We feel we've become "less than" we had hoped we would become. We think we've achieved "less than" other persons we know of personally and professionally. Based on those comparisons, we determine whether we, ourselves, are powerful people or not.

Those summations about ourselves can be a very bad thing. We certainly recognize success when we see it, but a true measure of success can also be only relative to our very own circumstances. For some, if you made it out of difficult circumstances and survived, got a good education and a good paying job, that's success. For others, if your small business made it to Wall Street, that's success. There are many great examples of how to measure success, depending on who you are and where you came from.

THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR "P-NESS"
When we make inaccurate comparisons consciously and unconsciously, those wrong summations can stir anger, envy and distorted feelings within us. It disturbs us when we feel "inadequate", especially if we think we could've, would've and should've been more powerful than the other person.

The truth of the matter is that other people are constantly out-performing each other in some way or another. Some people have higher IQ's, are more gifted and simply more tenacious than others, and that's O.K. This doesn't mean that we can't get what those optimum performers get out of life. It's HOW YOU USE the power YOU possess for your greater good, and maybe at the same time for the greater good of others, too, that matters most. All of us will go about getting to our greatness-es differently. That's the beauty of personal power when it is measured in a healthy way. When it isn't, though, look out. It's a beast. When those perspectives of someone else being "more than me" infiltrate our rational thinking, it means trouble. It can feel ugly. It can also act ugly.

For instance, what about all of the Presidential bashing that goes on? It's ways are so brutal. I understand that all Presidents are targets of this kind of "professional bullying". I know that it's a part of the whole political game that allows hitting below the belt, but I'm still amazed at the number of "hopefuls" and media "opinionists" and other critics that have such venomous things to say about President Obama. Do you suppose that maybe it's envy of the strange and worst kind manifesting itself?

One day Obama is just a "somebody", wanting to make a difference, and then he's POTUS. It seemed to happen lightning fast, and if you happen to be of "those" with such huge aspirations as that, you may be wondering how he was smart enough to do it. It was almost magical, and, perhaps, that has been the problem with the pondering critics asking, how did he do that right before our very eyes? There were no tricks, however. No optical illusion here, but much like magic, it was quick. We blinked, and he became President.

Yes, it was achieved with the kind of quickness that might leave you feeling a bit "less than", or questioning yourself, your intentions, your abilities, and the size of your "P-Ness", and, again, much like magic, it has you still trying to figure out how he did it. My suggestion is just don't make a comparison here.

SIZE MATTERS TO SOME PEOPLE
Really? Consider the other sneaky, little ways in which the desire for power shows up in our everyday lives. Have you experienced someone who just has to out-do you? Or, when a person feels the need to cut in front of you in traffic? Or, when someone turns their nose up at you, and you have no idea why? Or, someone at work needs to get the credit for your hard work? Or, when people are jealous about your car, your house, your clothes, your career, your life? The list goes on. It's crazy, but it's real. They get upset if the size of our power seems greater than theirs, be it real or imagined.

So, what's my point? As I said, POWER can be a STRANGE THING. We have to deal with the fact that some people know how to get things done in truly amazing ways, more so than others. Some individuals are formidable, powerful forces to be reckoned with. Others walk softly, and carry a big, equally powerful but quiet personal confidence into their tasks. Others get there by "staying the course", no bells or whistles, no need for attention. It's still power. WE ALL HAVE IT IN VARYING DEGREES.

At the end of the day, what does it all mean? For people like Charlie Sheen, those egotistical leaders, all of the crazy crooks, critics, and the people that think it's really cool and powerful to cut us off in traffic, it means this, ladies and gentlemen: some people will have a bigger "P-Ness" than others. It doesn't pay to be mad, bashing or among the "haters" because your "P-ness" is small, or if it appears that you have no "P-ness" at all.

I'm just sayin'...try not to be overly concerned. Use THE POWER YOU HAVE in better and greater ways, because YOU CAN.

S.R.F.

I'M JUST SAYIN'

2011-01-06T09:54:00.000-08:00

"THE NEW RESUME"

Yesterday I heard the news about Ted Williams' incredible turn of events. Word of "the man with the golden voice" traveled around the world faster than most news does. Like the majority of folks, I was in awe, but not the kind that at first response was elation for this man who I know in my heart is deserving of another chance. My brows furrowed and my head filled with questions: He used to do what? He was where? He is on national TV? He has had millions of hits on YouTube? My first thought was that the employment search strategy has taken a pretty interesting and incredible turn, too. I think Mr. Williams has just shown the world that "the new resume" is sweet, short and simple. Folks, take notice.

When I watched him this morning talking about his ups and downs, by the time he was finishing up the interview, I was so choked up that I could barely speak. Even so, I have to admit that my mind kept revisiting the thought that there obviously must be something going on out there in the world of job hunting that is much more effective and provocative than a "conventional little old resume". I say this tongue-in-cheek, but you know what I mean. People try to create and pay good money to prepare the kind of resume information that will "glow in the dark", one with terrific information, showcasing sterling talent and boasting of wonderful, credible personal and professional references. I know. I've had my feelers out for quite some time trying to land myself in the spotlight with a grand step into television, believing that I had something special to give to the lives of viewers and listeners all over the world. Gee Whiz. Ted Williams let me know that I've been doing it all wrong.

Trust me, I am truly considering now "the new resume", the kind that really gets the attention I deserve. No more great cover letters. No more talent resumes. No more sending out my talent DVD. I clearly see that I need a BIG SIGN, a really, really, really big sign stating my lofty goals and a major street corner to stand on. Don't get me wrong, I'm feeling the joy for Ted Williams. I'd like to see every homeless person off the street, and many would be if they were given an opportunity and a jump-start. The great message in all of this is that people are out there who can help, and they do when they pay attention and they realize it. I believe that's what his story is supposed to tell us.

Ted's story is the kind that is meant to inspire all of us, especially to give hope to every individual who thought that there was little possibility of a good life ahead. His story is supposed to jolt the thinking of anyone who has given up. His story is supposed to show us what mustard seed faith looks like. His story is supposed to tell us to work with what you've got, a black magic marker and a piece of cardboard box if that's all it is. He told his story. It was sweet, short and simple, and he held it up for the world to see.

So, right now I'm working on my new resume and it needs to be done right. I'm trying to decide if I should use the standard brown cardboard box, or a white one. I am wondering if I should write on the smooth side, or if the corrugated side would add more flair. I have all these magic marker colors to choose from, too, and that's just making this such a complicated decision. I've heard that blue is a very effective color for stuff like this, but then again, Ted used black so I will probably go with that. I am also thinking that maybe cursive would be better than just printing my letters. I think my new resume should be something a little more "girly" looking. Of course, I am considering if my font size should be just large or REALLY LARGE. I think I'll go with REALLY, REALLY LARGE. After all, I want the world to see it, and thanks to Ted Williams, I know how to get this done the right way now.

Ted, you've gotten a very special message across in more ways than one and I'm taking notice. I wish you much continued success because, yes, you really do deserve it. You are truly more than just the man with the golden voice, you are the man of the hour. Go, man!

Oh...I forgot to mention that I have my corner picked out, too. I just gotta finish my sign first. I'm just sayin'...

S.R.F

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YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

2010-11-15T10:02:00.000-08:00

BULLYING: Close Encounters of the Worst Kind

I was bullied as a kid. When I think about it now, the number of times that I was intimidated by this individual, and the number years it continued, I get downright mad knowing that no way under heaven could anything remotely close to that ever happen to me now. It's baffling that it did happen, and it's still happening to boys, girls, men and women. It needs to stop.

Back then, from kindergarten though the 7th grade, many of us had to endure the evilness and anger of a horrific little girl named Charlotte. She threatened us, took our milk money and picked fights with us constantly. She literally had every kid pretty terrified of her, so we would succumb to her aggression, accommodating her demands or risk getting beaten up. I ask myself now how could another child be so overpowering and so successful at bullying at age five? The answer: she was truly troubled.

Charlotte would come to school day after day with uncombed hair, a dirty face and a disgusting snotty, runny nose. She smelled horrible, and her clothing was never clean or neat. It seemed that she was left on her own to get ready for school, and it definitely showed. Her shoes were never tied and the buttons on her blouses were never buttoned correctly. She was an angry kid, and she hated most of us, and let us know it. Whatever was going on at home was bad, and whatever was going on in her head was even worse.

Getting into trouble for her antics never slowed down any of her actions though. She was just as ready to take our money the next day as she was the day before, along with a punch or two sometimes to let us know she meant business. Too many days I had to figure out how to have milk money for me and Charlotte. I would ask my Daddy for candy money often so I could buy her milk and cookies for the week. He would often give me money for just being a good kid, so whenever this little devil came threatening to beat me up if I didn't hand over some money, I had some to give her.

Others encountered the same treatment. I wasn't the only one being bullied. When we got a little older, she wanted more than money. If she liked something we wore, she demanded to have it . Some of the girls did give her their stuff very unwillingly. I told her "my mother said no" to that request. Actually, my mother integrated a few profanities into her response when I told her about it, but I knew she didn't expect that I would say that to Charlotte. My mother just wanted me to stand up for myself, and one day she had this idea that she would teach me how.

I was in the third grade by this time, and Charlotte was still as terrible and terrifying as ever. One day, I came home crying after she decided she would try to take my coat. My mother was furious about it. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was to go back to school the next day and "mop up the streets with Charlotte." Yeah, right. I was shaking in my boots, but I was riding high on my mother's words and went to school the next day bragging about how I was going to mop up the streets with Charlotte after school. My real plan was to jet out of there at three o'clock like an Olympic runner, hopefully not encountering Charlotte at all.

When the bell rang at three, I went with plan B and ran as fast as I could towards home. I was about fifty feet from my house, and feeling somewhat relieved when out of nowhere came Charlotte, screaming like a banshee, "Mop up the streets with me! Mop up the streets with me!" Then she smacked me in the back of my head. I fell down, but got up quickly and ran from this crazed, maniac child. So much for my mother's advice. She had no real idea what we were dealing with. However, eventually, my parents ended up coming to the school. The bullying did stop for a while after that, but only for a while.

By sixth grade, Charlotte had a posse. What threats and terror she did not commit herself, she would send one of her other fiends to do. Unfortunately, this nonsense carried on until the seventh grade, until I realized that it was time I did something to stop it.

When one of "them", Linda, had passed the word that she was going to beat me up after school, I knew then and there this would be the very last time I would allow myself to be subject to this unfair, unjustified and ignorant treatment. This was the day there would be a showdown. I was done with getting beaten up. I was tired of giving them my money. I was just plain tired of being a pushover. I was becoming a young lady and I was beginning to feel a little more grown up. My mother let me stop wearing pigtails when I got to the seventh grade, so I was "styling" a little bit by now. I thought to myself, "I am not going to let them make me look stupid anymore. I'm getting too big for this now. I have to fight this time."

After school, all the kids knew about the upcoming fight and they congregated, screaming and cheering Linda on. I had no fans, no support, except myself. Linda came up close behind me as I was walking home and pushed me, which was the "typical" indication that the fight was on. I turned around and looked at Linda, snatched her by her hair and gave her the beat down of her little life. Yeah, Linda, unfortunately, got beat up for every time that anybody had threatened or intimidated me. She was a mess, shaken, startled, scared, limping and crying. I knew I would have no more problems with her. Over, done, in one round.

Still, no cheers for me, just awe, but you will never guess what happened next. Charlotte came over to me as I was dusting myself off. She put her arm around my shoulder and said, "I didn't know you could fight like that." If I hadn't known she had already lost her mind a long time ago, I thought for sure she had now. I threw her arm off my shoulder and said, "and don't you forget it." I picked up my books, and strutted off as if to say anybody's butt was mine if they were bad enough to try me. I had new found respect that day. More importantly, my self-esteem was restored. My confidence was strong. No, I was no longer a wimp. I was worthy. Hear me roar!

Honestly, I am not proud of this story. I am sorry I experienced this trauma, and I am sorry for anyone who does. No one should be subject to the terrorizing, threats and fights that I went through. Bullying is no joke. It's awful. You feel hurt, scared and insecure all the time. You don't understand why it's happening and you don't really know what to do about it. You get teased and laughed at, which complicates the other feelings you're dealing with. It was a good thing that my parents started paying closer attention and stepped in. It was even better when I stepped up, not because I wanted to fight. I didn't. All I wanted was my self-esteem back, and I got it. And, yes, I have a new attitude about taking any kind of bull, anytime or anywhere.

If you or someone you know is the target of bullying or abuse of any kind, let someone know who can intervene safely. These circumstances can vary greatly from individual to individual, however, the need to stop the abuse is essential. Show that person your concern by saying that you care, by stepping in and helping to end these senseless encounters. Sometimes all it takes is someone to show up and step up.

S.R.F.

I'M JUST SAYIN'

2010-09-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

GOD BLESS AMERICA, PLEASE

God bless America, please!

Help our government leaders to find common ground.

Help them to use common sense and insight, and cause them to use an even grander wisdom in finding solutions to our country's difficulties and challenges.

Let them be reminded that their decisions must be made with the greater good of all the people in mind, and not just for the sake of a political party win.

Help them to see that many of us are hoping to see a harmonious effort to impact and change conditions and circumstances that involve so many. Help them see that their arguments and personal agitations only create more uncertainty and angst.

God bless America, please!

Help our government to instill a new and enduring confidence in us through cooperative achievement of goals that make life better for everybody.

Help our government improve the components of our society that build and strengthen our great foundation.

Help them to embrace a collective consciousness for establishing the best criteria for moving this nation forward.

Help our Leaders know that some of your greatest work is done through the heads, hearts and hands of men and women in chosen places such as theirs.

Bless these Leaders to use the knowledge and ability you gave them to structure a framework that is never again easily shaken.

Help these Leaders to overcome their differences by reminding them that a house divided cannot stand. Let our country be the WORLD'S PATTERN for GREATNESS, SOLIDITY and STRENGTH.

Give Americans the Spirit and steadfastness to continue to pray and believe that in spite of all the hardships, we can still look forward to the things that make life easier and enjoyable.

God bless America, please!

I'm praying. I'm just sayin'...it seems like the right thing to do.

S.R.F.

MICHELLE OBAMA: She Practices What She Preaches

2010-07-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Michelle! Today I had the pleasure of listening to our First Lady talk about her new initiative "Let's Move" on The White House Live website. I think what I love most about this launch is that she is taking easy-to-understand, common sense thinking about healthy eating and exercise and working on implementing these strategies into the "extracurricular" school life of kids all over America. By bringing this initiative into every school, these efforts, hopefully, will also translate into a healthier lifestyle for these students overall as they learn to make their choices about how they will eat and exercise for the rest of their lives.

As well, all of us will have to become role models. Regarding how we feed ourselves and our families, Michelle suggested that we make "manageable" changes to our current eating habits, such as eliminating, or at least minimizing many of the sugars and snacks we eat, and limiting the number of fast food meals we consume. Personally, I have lived by the diet theory of "elimination", not "deprivation", so I emphatically agree with her when she says that if we decide to eat healthy most of the time, having the snacks and fast foods are then the "special treats" we can guiltlessly enjoy now and then.

Who could be better at offering us inspiration and encouragement? Michelle Obama is more than a fine example of someone who practices what she preaches. She also suggested that dancing and outdoor games, things that are "fun" and that get us moving are viable ways to get additional exercise. As an example, she talked about how she and the President discipline their girls, refraining them from overdoses of weekday television in an attempt to divert their attention to other productive interests, especially physical activities that gets the whole family involved. We can do the same.

Certainly we need Michelle's motivation. There's no doubt that the Let's Move initiative is born out of necessity, with sixty-percent of school aged children being overweight, and others not getting the nutrition they need because of poor food choices. Let's do our best to support this endeavor, to put into practice good, healthy habits that will help our children eat better and get healthier. Let's take it seriously, and take ourselves to a whole new level of consciousness about how we care for our bodies. Let's do it, People. Let's eat better, and let's exercise. Let's Move!

S.R.F.

Silver Rae Fox is a Featured Speaker with the Pastorini-Bosby Agency Speakers Bureau

2010-07-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

I've just landed among the STARS!

If you're planning a conference, a special event or you're a business, community organization or corporation with training needs, please contact my agency and learn more about the dynamic presentations I can provide for your company! I'd just LOVE to be on YOUR AGENDA!

Book or Hire Silver Rae Fox as your speaker!

CLICK HERE for additional information!

2010-06-23T14:22:00.000-07:00

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IN YOUR BUSINESS

2010-06-21T08:19:00.000-07:00

Customer Service Reps,
Please Allow Me to HELP YOU!

Is it just me, or has really great customer service become a rare commodity?

The other day I was talking with my cell company, the same company that I've had service with for the last eight years. I had a question about the functionality of the phone, because I determined that I probably need the "Blackberry for Dummies" guide. To save time though this time, I preferred to go through the call prompts and get a real life customer service representative to help me.

I explained my issue, because I just didn't "get it", wasn't quite sure how to make the function work. I've had the phone for a year, but I'm still getting used to all the apps. The first thing I LEARNED was that I was not as bright as the representative about the phone, and she let me know it. I already KNEW THAT. That's why I was calling.

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way," she said, "but you really should not have to call about that. You should have looked at the DVD that came with your phone. You also could have gone online."

"Young lady," I replied, "I called because I wanted someone to EXPLAIN it to me, and GUIDE me through the process, and just an FYI for you, I suggest you don't say things like that to your customers."

She said, "Well, I told you not to take it the wrong way." So, the "wrong way" meant that I shouldn't be asking a simple question with an obvious answer, because I guess she was there to answer deep, complicated stuff.

"I didn't take it the 'wrong way'. I will take a look at the DVD, but since you're on the phone, could you please help me?" Now, I am wondering if I really do want HER to help me, because now her attitude has shown up and she is clearly not wanting to do this.

She snapped out a swift explanation, as I responded to each direction with, "O.K., O.K." Then she said, "Is there anything else?"

I said, "No. That's all. Thank you." End of call, no goodbye, no "have a nice day", just a "I think you're a stupid customer" left lingering in cyberspace. Anyway, I knew the answer now.

Customer Service Representatives of the world, please remember that you're hired to help folks like me for whatever the reason. We, the customers, would like to feel comfortable and confident that it's alright to call you with our silly, dumb, simple questions. DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, but it would really be HELPFUL if when you ask "how may I help you?", you really mean it.

On a more positive note, I hope you have a nice day, and I REALLY DO mean it. I hope that helps.

S.R.F.

I'm Just Sayin'

2010-06-14T06:39:00.000-07:00

Whitney Houston: It's A Weighty Business

All of the recent media feedback about Whitney Houston has me THINKING, a regular exercise I indulge in regarding matters of importance, or interest.

First, let me say, I am a die-hard Whitney Houston fan. Like many of you, I have watched her over the years, from the most glorious days to the graven condition she found herself in, the fight for a comeback, and the even greater fight to "stay back" in the game. As fans, our emotions are mixed. Speaking for myself, I know that I am glad that the addiction didn't kill her, and I am saddened that she is still struggling so much with, obviously, some additional issues. If that isn't enough, for me to see the media killing her is a bit hard to take, too.

I agree that what we hear is not good. The voice has faded, and maybe she could have made a better decision to not put herself under so much pressure to perform right now. She is ONLY human, and I feel sure that she more than likely feels the embarrassment in ways we don't get to see. I am sure that it is quite painful for her, wanting to do and give her best, but having difficulty producing it. At this point, I feel more compassion than disappointment though. No one plans to fall, and certainly she didn't expect she'd fall so hard in this great attempt to stand tall again. Maybe more rest and less spotlight would be the best remedy for healing and hope of easier days. I sure hope so.

With all that being said, what stimulated my thoughts today is the issue of her weight gain. Stories say she is about 175 pounds now, and I am still scratching my head wondering why that is such a horrible thing. She still looks like a Diva to me. All of this crazy evaluation of celebrities and high profile individuals who gain weight baffles me, as if they are supposed to have some supernatural resistance to food. I understand that they have their "public" to please, and they often start out with these supposedly marvelous images of good health and weight sustain-ability, but if you eat regularly at all, you know that so many of us are only a few weak meals away from tighter, hard-to-pull-up jeans. You know what I mean, the same jeans that fit pretty well just a few "weaks" ago, are hard to pull up now.

So what if some of the celebs gain some, or a lot of weight: let's not send them to a special jail for it. If it's an issue TO THEM, health, self-esteem or whatever, that's one thing. If it's an issue TO US because WE THINK they should be slimmer to PLEASE US, well, let's wake up to the reality that stuff changes, especially stuff like our weight. Is it bad, or is it just an unrealistic paradigm for us? I am not encouraging bad health, being overweight or obesity, but it's definitely O.K. to not be super-thin and still be loved.

Anyway, while Whitney struggles to sing, and with other battles she faces, I know all of us can agree that life is a weighty business in more ways than one. Whether its POUNDS or PROBLEMS, the "scale" can surprise you on any given day. In this regard, however, because I am such a dedicated fan, I think that today I will have a double burger, fries, and something sweet, goo-ey and high in calories to show my support...I'm just sayin', here's to you, Whitney. Hang in there.

S.R.F.

2010-06-08T17:28:00.000-07:00

COMING SOON! My New AUDIO Ebook on DVD!

YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

2010-06-07T06:20:00.000-07:00

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!

Are many of the things you SAID you would have DONE by now still lingering in your imagination? Does doubt keep telling you "it's EASIER said than DONE"?

Doubting YOURSELF can deter your DREAMS, alter your direction, distract you from your goals, and possibly DESTROY your self-esteem. Feelings of inadequacies often develop the farther we get away from our heart's desires. We risk falling into the trap of not believing in ourselves at all, all because doubt shadows our own trust and faith.

Doubt is often disguised as, "I would have if...", or "I could have if...", IF...IF...IF. We find reasons, and make excuses for our hesitancy. We validate our thoughts about why we stand off and stand back and let life pass us by. There is always "too much else going on" or "in the way." The truth is that sometimes deep down we don't believe we're worthy of success, or that we can really achieve it. Some of us may have a fear of failing, so we just leave our goals on the floor of our imagination.

Although it isn't always so easy to conquer doubt, the sooner we make a decision to DO something, the sooner we're on our way to actually DOING IT. Turning doubt into DETERMINATION begins with a decision-making step FORWARD, a decision that says "YES, I AM GOING TO DO THIS". You'll get excited once you make up your mind. Excitement and enthusiasm will FUEL the FLAME from there. That BURNING DESIRE will DRIVE YOU, and make things happen in a way you never imagined before.

1. STOP WISHING. "Wishing" is that fairy tale stage of wanting a goal to come to fruition. The fantasy feels good, but that's as good as it gets. Whatever it is that you "WISH" to do, be BOLD and turn it into a "WANT", and WANT IT bad enough to DO SOMETHING right NOW.

2. STOP WONDERING. This is simple, not necessarily as a matter of PROCESS, but definitely in PROBABILITY: BELIEVE THAT WHAT YOU WANT IS POSSIBLE and, YES, YOU CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN.

3. STOP WAITING. If you are waiting for a precise set of "GO" lights, the indications to proceed may not appear so obviously. Start MOVING in the direction of what is it you want, WATCH and SEE what unfolds as you GO. When it seems that you are at a "STOP" light, LOOK AROUND and determine which direction you need to go in next. Whatever you do, KEEP DRIVING until you get there.

Let's swear off being "WISHY-WASHY" NOW! DECLARE that there will be NO MORE going back and forth within your THINKING about whether you "should-a, could-a or would-a". Let's get our MIND MADE UP to SET THAT GOAL today!

When it comes to combating doubt and getting what you want, it's "DONE" EASIER THAN "SAID"! I know you can do it, NO DOUBT about it!

S.R.F.

ANY DAY, ANY MOMENT can be a NEW STARTING POINT in life! GET GOING!

2010-06-01T16:18:00.000-07:00

Join My NEW Facebook page THE POSITIVE PRINCIPLE and get inspiring motivational messages! Listen NOW then click the badge for quips, quotes and more!

2010-05-15T07:24:00.000-07:00

The Positive Principle

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE!

2010-05-09T12:21:00.000-07:00

I'M TAKING MY SHOW ON THE ROAD.

For more than 35 years, Silver Rae has been empowering others through personal and professional development training and lecturing as an instructor, speaker and presenter. About three years ago, Silver, who is best known formerly by her birth name, Pat Evans, strategically embraced a new business name and branding, Silver Rae Fox, and has since made her professional mark to thousands upon thousands as a blog writer and radio host, with her popular blog and internet radio program, both entitled, FOXOLOGY.

As an expert in teaching professional modeling, personal motivation, poise, social and speaking skills, personality and attitude development, the former fashion model and commercial talent, has impacted countless individuals with her hands-on training during tenures with some of the most notable modeling and career development centers in the nation.

Working actively in the community, she has contributed her expertise and instruction in many local schools and churches, and organizations such as the YMCA, Teen Pregnancy, Inc., The Sojourner Truth Shelter for women and children of domestic violence, and The Next Door Foundation. Having created uniquely designed seminars and presentations, she has inspired many individuals, young and old alike, to think positively, to live productively and learn the value of building self-esteem and self-confidence.

As a Senior Trainer and Project Manager for the City of Houston Human Resources Training Division, Silver facilitated the New Employee Orientation Program, the City Accreditation Program for Supervisors, Effective Presentations, Business Grammar and Writing Courses , and also contributed to the initial installment of the current Leadership Institute Program. For several years, hundreds of City employees benefited from her insightful instruction and managerial training.

Silver received her Bachelor of Arts degree from Houston Baptist University, where she double-majored in Sociology and Christianity, and during that time also served in formal church ministry for several years. With a love for expressing her faith, and eagerness to offer spiritual encouragement, she believes strongly in God’s message of hope and strength to those who are burdened with grief, loss, discouragement and adversity. In 1977, Silver lost one of her beautiful twin daughters in a tragic car accident, and through her own recovery and survival, found courage and conviction to continue to live with vitality and vibrantly in spite of life’s difficulties, challenges and odds. From her own life experiences, she shares profound and uplifting spiritual insight for help, hope and healing to her audiences.

Recently, Silver accepted the invitation to serve as Literary Ambassador and Spokesperson for the Book Tree Literacy Project, a non-profit foundation whose purpose is to help eradicate illiteracy. In collaboration with the project, she will also host a weekly 30-minute internet radio program on Blog Talk Radio, “The Book Tree”. The program will showcase authors, writers, poets, wordsmiths, and individuals aspiring to write and publish their ideas and content.

Silver’s other current projects include touring the speaking circuit, launching a library of inspirational and motivational audio products, and publishing “Talk Productive: A Beginner’s Guide to Speaking Confidently,” and a personal memoir and message, “I Can See Clearly Now: Discovering Vision and Purpose For Your Life,” available later this year.

Please contact Silver at silverraefox@gmail.com for speaking engagements and interviews.

YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

2010-04-21T14:41:00.000-07:00

Looking For a Real Level of Success?

Still trying to make that climb to success? You say that all of this POSITIVE ATTITUDE stuff just ain't producing for you? You planned and your plans failed anyway? You started out enthusiastically, but within only a short time your enthusiasm has turned to sighs of struggle? You're getting tired of people stepping on you and over you to get where they want to go? Busted and disgusted now, you're not feeling good about yourself because of it all?

Well, that's the DOWN SIDE of things. ENOUGH OF THAT! Hang on! Most things in life just won't come easy. We have to put forth A LOT of effort, in more ways than one. It is not always simple.

Success happens to us for a combination of reasons. Rarely is it spontaneous. There are usually MANY steps to take before you get there. Move SURE AND STEADY. As desirable as quick results are, you DO NOT always have to hurry. Remember, it was the tortoise that won the race. You will get there. It has taken many years for some companies and individuals to achieve their successes. They would tell that it was patience, not speed, that got them there.

In a poem by William Arthur Ward, "A BLUEPRINT FOR ACHIEVEMENT", he conveys a very positive message that goes something like this: "BELIEVE instead of doubting. PLAN instead of playing. STUDY instead of sleeping. DECIDE and PREPARE instead of delaying. BEGIN instead of procrastinating. WORK instead of wishing. LISTEN while others talk. SMILE instead of pouting. COMMEND instead of criticizing. PERSIST instead of quitting."

Often we want to skip, jump and run to get to our goals. We can't skip the "natural "process. We can't jump over the "normal" steps that it takes to get to the finish line. We can't run without having prepared for the race. Real life doesn't work that way. That's only in the movies. If you really want to do something great then you will have to follow a REAL process. That's how YOU MUST do it if you want to achieve REAL success. You can do it. That's the UP SIDE, and that's the LEVEL where all of the serious ACHIEVERS are doing their thing.

S.R.F.

IN YOUR BUSINESS Solving Workplace Worries

2010-03-22T10:48:00.000-07:00

10 THINGS EVERY LEADER-MANAGER SHOULD KNOW

Effectively leading, and managing are the two ideal components for those who are at the forefront of work teams. As a Leader-Manager, you want to gain the REGARD and RESPECT of those you lead, so they will receptively follow. You also want the important RESULTS necessary for OPTIMUM work output.

Getting these results will greatly depend on constantly assessing and developing both your leadership and management skills, and understanding the special role they play in an employee's performance. Combined, your ability and implementation of important Leader-Manager skills will encourage the most productive results from your employees, and will often assure better overall productivity for the organization as well.

Here a few tips for the successful Leader- Manager:

1. The manager who PLANS is wise; he CONSIDERS ALL of his steps. Think, plan and see the WIN-WIN from the start.

2. The manager who operates in INTEGRITY will manage with CONFIDENCE. Strong values are important for gaining respect and giving respect.

3. Without GOOD leadership, FAILURE will follow. Sloppy managing gets sloppy results. No brainer.

4. If you SEEK the good in others, you will FIND it. Some employees need a little more TLC: Tender Leadership Care. As a Leader-Manager, part of your responsibility is to help to bring out the best in them.

5. A GOOD boss FINDS favor with his boss. You may have a Leader-Manager superior, too. It is good to remember that you're on the same team.

6. A manager who LACKS INITIATIVE has nothing to show for his efforts; but a DILIGENT manager will ALWAYS have the DESIRED RESULTS. Laziness begets low morale and effort. A Leader-Manager who stays on top of things gets the team to get things done, and this increases morale.

7. An UNDERSTANDING manager GAINS the CONFIDENCE of his employees. Everyone doesn't think exactly like you. Show compassion and have a good listening ear.

8. A manager who DISCIPLINES with QUICK DISCRETION rarely has to REPEAT himself. You don't have to mean to be effective. Say what you mean, and mean what you say, but do it with professionalism, not just with your power.

9. It is NOT GOOD to show PARTIALITY toward employees; FAIRNESS CREATES PERFECT JUDGMENT. We sometimes have a tendency, or favor toward certain individuals, but if we choose them for specific tasks, let it be because they were the most qualified, or because you knew they would get the best results. Otherwise, it's like asking a cat to fly, thinking it will, which is a really bad judgment.

10. The timing of positive words is always PERFECT. Praising your employees WORKS wonders! If possible, create special incentives, give awards for good work, say "You did a great job with that!". In an employee's eyes, there isn't anything more PERFECT you could say.

Remember, embracing a dynamic Leader-Manager skill-set will fortify your effectiveness as you guide your people to optimum performance and your business to a lucrative bottom line. Simply managing will get you from A to Z. Leadership is the art of wisely guiding them there.

S.R.F.

I'M JUST SAYIN'

2010-03-03T05:48:00.000-08:00

THERE OUGHTA BE A LAW

Back in the Bible days, when serious laws were violated, punishment was executed SWIFTLY and MERCILESSLY. To name a few, people were stoned to death, or wrapped and tied up in leather sacks, then put out in the sun to dry up like a prune. Others had their eyes poked out as punishment for particular crimes, some got their fingers and hands cut off for stealing and such. I often wonder if punishment for crimes in this current day was more feared, fast and dreaded, perhaps there would be a lot less offenders? I'm so appalled and frustrated over all of the consideration, leniency and freedom given to serious offenders.
I'm just sayin', there ought to be a law that scares them to death.

HOLY POLL-ey!
Whenever I hear about poll numbers now, I find myself tilting my head, my forehead furrowing, and my mouth doing this strange pucker. I am trying to figure out who are these people who are representing what I do, think and say? "When Americans were polled, 53% said...", "when polled 16% of Americans agree that...", "87% of Americans believe...". NO ONE has ever asked me about any poll question that I hear about. I've been around long enough that somebody should have asked me something by now. You, neither? Then why is this stuff considered the holy truth? It shouldn't be. I'm just sayin', THAT'S MY PUBLIC OPINION!

JOHN MAYER, OMG!

I THINK YOU'VE LOST YOUR MIND. In the famous words of Forrest Gump, "that's all I'VE got to say about that."

HEALTH CARE REFORM: The Doctor Will Be With You Shortly.
I watched the Health Care Summit last week, just about every minute of it. It was interesting to get a peek at that process. Regardless of all of the arguments, regardless of the numbers, I just believe that somehow these smart men and women will make this work without risk of killing the country's future goals. Enough is enough, guys. Just stop the political poo-poo and make it happen. I'm just sayin'...WHEW. Some people are sick, and some are sick and tired of waiting.

S.R.F.

THE POSITIVE PRINCIPLE

2010-02-17T14:34:00.000-08:00

Life Can Be Tough. You Must Be Tougher.

"I know you'd agree that life can be tough, and oftentimes we discover that we don't know our way around or through a problem. Life happens, and along with it unexpected issues, situations and crisis can throw you off balance, off course, and sometimes out of the ballgame altogether. It happens to the best of us. Fortunately, there are remedies that can help. I've produced and co-authored an amazing CD, "8 Principles For Positive Thinking" that offers empowering and enlightening insights that will impact your view of life, and how we handle difficult and challenging circumstances. I share both common and uncommon sense concepts that I've used to get through some of the most gut-wrenching challenges in my life, including the untimely loss of my beautiful four year-old twin daughter who died in a tragic car accident. You'll learn stimulating thinking skills from the faith and the fortitude I developed through that tough period in my life, as well as many other positive thinking tools that give strength and wisdom for everyday living. "8 PRINCIPLES FOR POSITIVE THINKING" will inspire and encourage you to be a strong, positive thinker and motivate you to live your life more deliberately, confidently and courageously. I've learned that life can be tough, and I am committed to mastering the skills that it takes to be a tough thinker. You can, too."

- Silver Rae Fox

"8 PRINCIPLES FOR POSITIVE THINKING" is a sensible and sensitive, yet powerful perspective on life and how we handle it. It will RENEW and INVIGORATE your heart, mind and attitude! No "secret" formulas for success, no hard-to-understand, unrealistic approaches to happiness. You'll get 60 minutes of solid, smart, tough-minded thinking skills that can improve your life! And, it's EASY and AFFORDABLE!

Download to your MP3, Ipod, Itunes

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YOU'LL LEARN:

How "The Business of Thinking" will help you GET CONTROL of problems by overreacting LESS and THINKING MORE.

How to GET FREE from "Bondage - Self Induced" situations by CHOOSING to SET YOURSELF FREE.

"How To Get Over" and through difficult circumstances with POSITIVE THOUGHTS and ACTIONS.

The IMPORTANCE of "Doing Time" PRODUCTIVELY and PATIENTLY during the course of major life changes.

How to "Commit To Joy" and live fully every day.

"Where To Go To Get What You Need" by focusing on RESOURCES and RELATIONSHIPS that ADD STRENGTH to your life.

How "We Do Our Truth" by gaining a GREATER UNDERSTANDING of ourselves and our actions.

How to BOOST your self-esteem by CONTINUALLY "Working Overtime" at developing a CONSISTENT POSITIVE MINDSET.

Order your MP3, IPod, Itunes or Windows Media Player DOWNLOAD NOW !

"8 PRINCIPLES FOR POSITIVE THINKING" will help you develop the skills of a proactive and positive thinker! Don't allow life's difficulties and challenges to get you down and cause you to sink into valleys of despair and discouragement. Don't let the pain of loss, break-ups, financial disaster, pitfalls and uncertainly let you sink into depression and keep you there. Life can be tough. You MUST get tougher. It requires TOUGH THINKING. If you could CHANGE THINGS by CHANGING THE WAY YOU THINK, you'd do it wouldn't you? Then why SINK when you can SOAR?!!! Get your download today!

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FOXY MONEY

2010-02-15T06:37:00.000-08:00

A PICTURE IS WORTH...
BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS

EVER HEARD OF GEORGE EASTMAN? He was a high school dropout, judged "not especially gifted" when measured against the academic standards of the day. He was poor, but even as a young man, he took it upon himself to support his widowed mother and two sisters, one of whom was severely handicapped.

He began his business career as a 14-year old office boy in an insurance company and followed that with work as a clerk in a local bank.

He was George Eastman, and his ability to overcome financial adversity, his gift for organization and management, and his lively and inventive mind made him a successful entrepreneur by his mid-twenties, and enabled him to direct his Eastman Kodak Company to the forefront of American industry.

But building a multinational corporation and emerging as one of the nation's most important industrialists required dedication and sacrifice. It did not come easily. (Excerpt from Kodak.com, The History of Kodak).

WHY IS HIS STORY IMPORTANT? George Eastman sacrificed greatly to invent his product. He poured his mind and money into his creation, often finding himself drained in both areas. He became the brunt of laughter, disgrace and humiliation because of his financial adversity and failure. However, nothing stopped this incredible man from manifesting what his genius and imagination compelled him to create. His own dedication and belief didn't fail him, even when friends viewed his efforts as ridiculous. He not only launched his Kodak camera, but made history as one the wealthiest, most remarkable, generous businessmen and philanthropists of his era.

WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM HIM? His story has always inspired me. I learn from his story that the elements of financial success are more than the need or greed for money. Can you imagine feeling something so deep on the inside, feeling so pregnant with an idea that you will never be satisfied until it gives birth to the world? That is what George Eastman felt, and he is still impacting the world because of it. If the truth be told, many of us would have to say "Yes, I have felt that, too". Well, what are you going to do about it? Maybe the world needs what you have, too.

WHAT'S MY POINT? The point is that our money-making idea may need to "get out". Some wealth comes easy, and some wealth is acquired by much effort, strain, stress, sacrifice, risk, blood, sweat and tears. For some, getting wealthy may fall somewhere between easy and not so easy. Since only about 5% of Americans are "wealthy", maybe this helps you understand why. It just ain't easy for everybody. Do-able, yes. Easy, not so much. That's what often stops us, but it shouldn't.

Keep in mind, you don't necessarily have to be a mega-millionaire to be financially successful. You'd settle for less, no doubt, as long as you could live as large as you'd like to, take care of your family, enjoy life. Regardless, to have big money, you often have to work hard, and work smart. That's just the way it is.

YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES. There are so many like George Eastman in the world. So many whose stories we know, and don't know. The lesson we have to gain from them is that if you want something bad enough, you have to be bold enough to work at getting it. His story is proof positive that you can. He didn't seem to have a special gift. No special education. No money to speak of, but he did have that quality that make us keep trying when everyone else thinks it's stupid to try again: he must have had great COURAGE.

So, my friends, let's get COURAGEOUS. Let's get AUDACIOUSLY COURAGEOUS. Let's get downright "nothing is going to stop me now" courageous! Let's get "I'm going to give this all I've got" courageous! Let's get "I will not give up until I make it" courageous! Yes, your gift, your company, your invention, your idea can benefit us, and maybe the entire world, just like George Eastman's did. Don't keep us waiting!

S.R.F.

IN YOUR BUSINESS

2010-02-01T09:29:00.000-08:00

Do You Have
"SUPER - VISION"?

The word SUPERVISION means "a critical watching and directing of activities, or course of action." Let's "see" what we can learn from that:

The human eye has this incredible ability to focus, observe and gather information and see objects that are at great distances away. You probably don't think much about that when you gaze at beautiful sunsets, look awe-filled at the clouds in a bright blue sky, or see a plane soaring above you, but at that moment you are literally seeing objects that are thousands of feet in the distance, and literally millions of miles away. Anyone would agree that it is certainly a type of "super-VISION" that we possess.

Wouldn't be wonderful if it was as simple as that to focus on the needs of our organizations and its people, to observe and gather data and information that would quickly bring into view right strategies, plans and goals? Well, "seeing" isn't quite so simple when you're managing people, but nonetheless, it does require extraordinary SUPERVISION, a combination of keen insight, intellect and instinct to do the job well: Insight that helps you see a problem, analyze it, weigh the solutions and then KNOW WHAT TO DO. Intellect that comes from either education or experience or both, that TELLS YOU EXACTLY WHAT TO DO. Then, there's Instinct, a kind of JUST KNOWING WHAT TO DO.

The manager who operates without these keen insights into the needs of the people who contribute significantly to his or her success, or who misses the opportunity to exercise his or her experience and education to enhance the development of the organization's employees, or the manager who fails to realize that quick instincts are an ability that favorably impacts change and progress, may have a case of "blurred vision". Just managing, wielding power or believing that leadership is pushing people around is far from sharp focus on great supervision, or "seeing" the best practices for maneuvering a team.

SUPER-VISION is the ability to see people up-close AND at a distance, a critical watching and directing of the activities and courses of action that you manage and influence each day. Good managers and supervisors constantly "adjust their lenses" to see better, striving to see things in a new way, and in a better light. They are constantly focusing on better strategies to get through daily challenges and crisis at work. They can see the necessity and benefit of positive change, and most of all, they can see how employees can work WITH them and not just FOR them. These managers excel, because they see the people they manage as the valuable human resources that they are.

S.R.F.

FOXY MONEY

2010-01-26T06:38:00.000-08:00

BUSINESS: What's a Plan Got To Do With It?

I had a lot of fun and laughter thinking about this topic today. I thought about all of the times that I had an idea, the inspiration, the motivation, the drive and the determination to do some things, and had NO real plan. Some things worked, some didn't. Some failed. Some flopped. Sometimes I landed safely, and other times I felt like I was in a free-fall off of a cliff. It's only funny looking back. It was anything but funny at the time. Some of the things I've done before that didn't quite work out, if done again, I would do one thing over: make a PLAN A, PLAN B, PLAN C, ...

I ALWAYS had a strategy, so these were not completely blind leaps that I took. I've had a few formal business plans constructed, too, to guide me. Even so, you know what I learned the hard way? Even the best laid plans can fail, too. It's the one thing about business that can get so tricky and frustrating, the day-to-day calculations of what you'll produce. Or not.

PUT IN ON PAPER
So what does having a plan really have to do with anything? Well, a business associate told me something very interesting recently. She and her partners were constructing a deal to acquire business from another company. They are smart, experienced women, and were eager to get this client on board. They were promised a deal if they could provide the plan that would guarantee the client the financial success he needed. They were confident that they could, but due to some timing factors with preparation, failed to show the client how his business goals fit into their business strategy. Can you say "OOPS"? So, instead of walking away with the whole caboodle of business, he gave them a small quotient of it as a "trial run". They needed and wanted all the business he had allocated for them, but didn't get it.

That was still a good thing, but having a plan, a strategy to view, would have netted them much more money. That was the goal. That was the plan. The plan was clear in their thinking, but there was nothing on paper to show their client. Plans provide focus. They can be altered, but they keep us moving toward our goals. They help us remember to make our decisions based on the structure that is already in place. Flexibility is important, of course, but the PLAN is the course of action that gets us from our starting point to the finish line.

IS A PLAN A GUARANTEE?
YES AND NO. I've also learned that businesses that don't survive, don't for a great variety of reasons. Sometimes I felt like questioning my own intelligence when things didn't work out. I stopped before going on that trip, because I know my intellect, and I know myself. Trust me, there are variables that go into becoming successful that go far beyond your intelligence, hard work, faith and money. On any given day, someone else's decision could impact everything you've planned. Someone or something that happens can so blindside you in the midst of your strategy and throw everything out of whack. How can you possibly plan for that? You pick yourself up and dust yourself off, and hopefully, keep going if you can.

No one PLANS to fail, but I have also learned that once you have put your business plan together, there should be an "alert clause" at the end saying that it may not work. Factual. Sad, but true. I know that sounds negative, but businesses still fail annually at an alarming rate, and not because they didn't have a plan.

THE BUSINESS OF TRYING
The recent Vikings and Cowboys game comes to mind (because I'm a FAVRE-VELOUS fan!). To the best of their understanding and ability, those teams came out to do business. They had studied strategy, had a plan as definable as possible. Each team, when given the ball, made their plays to the best of their strengths, ability and focus. They called the plays as each prior play required. There was one goal in mind: TO WIN. That would be the ultimate SUCCESS for that team. The athletic prowess was there, but sometimes things just were not working out, not going according to the "plan". The Cowboys lost, not because they are not a great team, and not because they don't have great leaders.

Sometimes the "business" of all of our "trying" just doesn't give us the results we planned for. If you can see the analogy, it's the same for business folks. You don't always lose because you didn't plan well or try hard enough.

Then do you really need a plan? YES. Do you need to know that plans can take an unexpected turn? YES, YES. Should you understand going in that being in business is, in itself, a tough business? YES, YES, YES. If you understand that, you're ready to do business, my friend, and by all means necessary, hang in there.

S.R.F.

FOXY MONEY

2010-01-26T06:37:00.002-08:00

WANT TO MAKE SOME FOXY MONEY?

I've been doing some reading on the history of the multilevel marketing industry. I discovered several things in my research. The whole idea began by individuals who needed money who then developed and sold products to neighbors and friends, sometimes door-to-door.

In a couple of cases, these salespersons were able to grow their efforts into full-blown business ventures, requiring the assistance of additional reps. To make the endeavor interesting, lucrative and more worthwhile, increased commissions and incentives were offered to motivate the salespeople to distribute more product. Even greater rewards came in the form of bonuses if they brought other sales reps on board. The initial sales reps earned commissions on the sales of the reps they brought in, as well as the special bonuses rewarded by the company.

IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE
I don't know about you, but that sounds like simple math, and an extremely simple approach to earning a good to great income. It's the reason I like multilevel marketing: it makes sense if you can sell a product you can identify with and make money at the same time, and offer the same opportunity to someone else who can benefit, too. I don't want to make it appear to be the easiest path to financial success, because like anything else, it takes time and effort to build your business. You have to be "cut out" to do this sort of thing.

Network marketing, or multilevel marketing as it is more commonly known, requires both real networking and real marketing. You can do that with your circle of influence, within your church family, community, on your day job, or you could reach out through various social and professional media sites to sell the product and recruit other reps.

Depending on the time and effort you invest, you can grow a successful home-based business pretty quickly. Some marketers approach it more slowly, and others become very prosperous within weeks and months. One thing I know for sure, it can really pay off if you work at it. It is a terrific source of residual income for many, and who wouldn't like to be earning while you're sleeping?

THE LATEST AND GREATEST IN THE NETWORK MARKETING INDUSTRY
Now, about the Trump Network. It works like all the other successful network marketing companies. It is not a scam, a scheme or a pyramid. It is a legitimate business opportunity, like Shaklee, Amway and Mary Kay. In this case, you invest an initial $500 to start, and then get others to do the same. You also, and as a primary focus, market the variety of health and wellness products offered by the company. You have to maintain a level of volume each month, but that becomes easy as you get other marketers on board.

Now, as I said, this IS NOT, I repeat, IS NOT for everyone. Yes, the math works, but it DOES NOT work if no one in your down line is working on getting other marketers signed up to join the company. Example: if you join my down line by investing your $500, you then need to get three to five other people that you can count on to invest $500 also, and they need to do the same, and so on, and so, on. The good news is that you can start earning substantial money immediately, although that just depends on what your goals are. You can get people to join in with you fast and now, or slowly. Either way, you build a great income for yourself ultimately.

YOU CAN JOIN MY SUPERSTAR TEAM

So, with that being said, I will extend a special invitation to any of you who are interested, to take a closer look at this particular company. Please email at silverraefox@gmail.com for more info. I send you the details of the business plan and then you call me if you are ready to get started, or if you have questions. If you have been looking to do a business of your own, this just might be the BIG NAME that you've been looking for!

S.R.F.

FOXY MONEY

2010-01-25T17:57:00.000-08:00

Think "FOXY" and Grow $$$

First, let me say that I am not a money "guru". The purpose of "FOXY MONEY" is three-fold: One, I will share the trials and triumphs of my personal and professional money wisdom, worries, woes and wealth, with the hope that you can learn from my mistakes, laugh at my foibles and get yourself on the path to thinking and becoming rich.

Second, I will share strategies that will increase your wealth from the experts, the wise and wealthy, from the business savvy and powerful men and women who really know how to build wealth. I am constantly excited and amazed at the ingenuity of these people who are so CLEVER, which is, by the way, what I am referring to when I use the term "FOXY MONEY". My goal will be to embellish us in the type of thinking and doing that will make some of us rich, and some of us very, very rich.

Third, I am an independent marketer for a very successful network marketing/multi-level marketing corporation, and will be offering this opportunity to others who can see the value in this amazing business venture.

Why another blog about money, especially since I am not a financial mastermind, and just currently working on getting wealthy? I am already WEALTHY, WEALTHY, WEALTHY in so many ways, and incredibly blessed. I wish I could spend that, because I would never want for anything. However, like many of you, I want a BIG, really BIG FAT BANK ACCOUNT. So, while I am working on becoming REALLY wealthy, so will you if you do all of the things we'll be learning from this blog. Why? Simply, because WE NEED MONEY! I prefer a LOT of it. You, too?

NEW TRICKS VS. OLD
They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Well, then, let's become new dogs, and learn more about the old tricks: the things about money that have always made folks financially empowered; things like genius, imagination, invention, investing, energy and hard work. There are tried and true methods for building wealth that a lot of us haven't and don't apply to our lives. There are wise ways of handling money that many of us ignore. There are sure fire strategies that increase little into much if we follow the rules. It can be tricky, but the magic comes when we perform the good "tricks", implementing those ideas and ideals that have made so many others into great money masters and milli/billionaires.

WHO'S IN CONTROL?
Some days it seems that getting control over your money is the biggest challenge. Believe me, I know. There is always something needed, something to pay, something that comes up. One of my biggest lessons has been learning that money DOES NOT have a mind of it's own. It does whatever I say do. It goes where I say go. It lands where I spend it. That, in itself, lets me know that discipline and management have to be two of my best friends. The Bible even teaches us that money AND wisdom are a defense, meaning that your prosperity is protected by how you manage what you have. It means that we have must be both more caring and careful about our money. After all, didn't our parents tell us that it doesn't grow on trees? It sure doesn't, but this is true: we can make it grow, by knowing how to plant it and cultivate what we learn about it. If we put our ideas and money where it will prosper, it is certain to give us an abundant crop in return.

IS THERE A MILLIONAIRE IN YOU?
This blog is going to chime in with the many other new thinkers who are realizing that the next wave of millionaires are in position. I am going to be one of them, and I am going to encourage you, enlighten you, compel you and challenge you to take yourself to a new level financially, too.

Remember, money does not have a mind of it's own. It will obey you. You make the calls. You make the plans. You make the deals. You make the plays. You chart the course. You become the winner.

START RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!
If you are between a rock and a hard place right now, don't despair. This is for you, too. I've been there, more than once. I've had crisis upon crisis, and sometimes could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. There were days when my future wasn't clear, and all pathways seemed unsure. I've lost everything and had to start over. Yes, I've been down, but NEVER out. My money has been "funny", as the saying goes. Fortunately, I'm too smart and too tough to be beaten by it. I've learned that just because you're down to nothing, doesn't mean that you are nothing.

Yes, I've experienced a little fear, a lot of frustration, some embarrassment, but when all is said and done, I'm a dazzling doll with a whole lot of things going for myself that can't be bought or sold. It's called SELF-WORTH! You've got it, too, and that's why this blog will be important. I want you to see your self-worth, and I want you to develop your financial worth as well. It doesn't matter where you're starting from.

GREAT THINGS ARE AHEAD!
I'll start posting common and uncommon wisdom and insights from the great minds of those who have made the millions before us. So, if you think you're DESTINED to prosper, get your FOXY self ready, because GREAT things are ahead! YOU ARE ALREADY RICH, we're just unlocking the doors to your WEALTH and GREATNESS!

S.R.F.

Want to earn additional income? CLICK HERE for more info!

YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

2010-01-18T10:42:00.000-08:00

GOT A DREAM? STIFLED WITH SELF-DOUBT?

Is doubt overwhelming your ability to get what you want out of life? Do you keep dreaming your dream, but you don't act on it? Is your doubt outweighing your determination?

Doubt can and will deter your dream. Doubt can distract you from your goals. Doubt can destroy your self-esteem. Every time you know you should make a move, you stop dead in your tracks and question your abilities instead of confidently forging ahead.

Doubt is often disguised as, "I would have if...", or "I could have if...", or "Someday maybe I will...". I once heard someone say, " 'SOMEDAY' is going to be a very busy day. Everybody's going to show up!" While we are finding a reason, making excuses for why we stand off and stand back and let life pass us by, everyone who believes in TODAY, not SOMEDAY, is SOMEWHERE making their DREAM happen!

Turning doubt into determination begins with a single decision-making step, a decision that says, "Yes, I'm going to do this!" Why not make that decision, and then get yourself excited about the positive choice you've made? Your excitement and enthusiasm will fuel your flame. The next thing you know, you will have a BURNING DESIRE to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN in a way you never had before!

STOP wishing. STOP wondering. STOP waiting. STOP "WHY"- NING over imperfect circumstances!!!!! STOP going back and forth within yourself about whether you should or should not, whether you can or cannot. STOP doubting what's going to happen. STOP dwelling on past and future failure. STOP the "MAYBE syndrome": "Maybe I will." "Maybe I won't." This MAY BE the time something happens!

You have a DREAM. It's YOUR dream. It's YOUR SELF-ESTEEM, SELF-DETERMINATION and SELF-MOTIVATION that CAN make it a reality. Reach for it. I just KNOW you can do it, WITHOUT A DOUBT!!!

S.R.F.

IT'S 2010! READY FOR SOME ACTION?

2010-01-07T11:21:00.000-08:00

Yep, it's here! Ready or not, the New Year has begun! If you are like most of us, we've spent a great deal of time reflecting on the things we want in the year ahead. Aspirations, dreams, hopes and plans loom large in our thinking, but therein lies an all-important question: do you have an ACTION PLAN to make it happen? Getting results isn't always simple, depending on what your goal is, but most achievers will tell you that YOU MUST take ACTION!

Here are a few thoughts to help kick things into gear:

1. “A” Have an "A+" mindset! ATTITUDE + ACTION = ACQUISITION!

Will you need a positive attitude? Of Course. Will you need to be optimistic? Definitely. Will you need to believe in yourself? Without question. Will you need to do everything in your power to make it happen? Yes, you will, and then some. Will you get there? CERTAINLY! Most people who don't reach their goals have stopped believing they will, and have stopped trying to make it happen.

2. “C” CHOOSE to avoid the negative and CONCENTRATE on the positive!

Here is a simple analogy for you: in your mind's eye you can see two cars. One is a beat-up jalopy. The other is your beautiful, brand new dream car. In this visual, why would it make sense for you to keep your focus on the beat-up jalopy? What would be the reason that you would be drooling over it as your heart's desire? Makes no sense to do that, right? On the other hand, seeing that beautiful new car causes you to smile, feel a few palpitations, huh? Yeah, that's the "feel good" car. That's the one to concentrate on, the one that makes you feel on top on the world! That's the way it works with negative thinking versus positive thinking. You have to remember to adjust your thoughts accordingly.

3. “T” TAKE yourself seriously and you will TAKE yourself to the next level!

O.K. This is simple, too. Make up your mind to get what you deserve to get out of life. It is a serious misconception that certain "good things" only come to certain people. Anything is possible for anyone who is willing to go after it.

4. “I” IDENTIFY the exact directions you want to take!

I took a short road trip a couple of days ago, and did a Mapquest to be sure I would get where I was headed. If I had not done that, chances are I would not have arrived as conveniently or as efficiently as I did. The map had about ten specific instructions that I had to follow to get to my destination, and I followed them closely. Plans and goals often work in the same way. Get directions. Sometimes they may have to be altered because of "road conditions", but if you keep going, even in an alternate "direction", you are likely to arrive at your goal in due time.

5. “O” Make an ONGOING effort to stay ON track!

I kept looking at my Mapquest directions to see if I was still on track, to be sure I had not missed a sign or a turn. As I reviewed it, I began to memorize the directions so that I had them locked in my mind. As I traveled on further, I felt very confident knowing that now I only had to keep looking for the right signs to continue on my trip. I knew where I was going, even though I had not traveled the specific course before. I had an idea locked into my thinking that assured me that I was going in the right direction, stayed on track, and got there.

6. “N” NEVER stop trying! Let NOTHING stop you!

I suppose I could have decided that I was tired of driving, but I wouldn't have gotten to my destination. I could have decided that I had driven far enough, but I wouldn't have gotten where I wanted to go. I could have gotten a flat tire or had some other type of car trouble, and needed to address that. I could have run out of gas, and needed to get help to get refueled. Get the point? There are so many reasons that any of us could fail to arrive at a goal, but all of them are not reasons that should prevent us from getting to it. We have to become better at being willing to "fix" the problem so that we can proceed. If it's fixable, then it's likely that what you want is still do-able. Fix it and keep going!

It's 2010, an opportunity for a new start, a new chart, and a new reason to reach every DESTINATION. This is YOUR year! You're GOING PLACES! Ready? Take some ACTION and MAKE IT HAPPEN!

S.R.F.

I'M JUST SAYIN'

2009-12-28T14:28:00.000-08:00

ISN'T SHE LOVELY?

Can you say "RED CARPET"? I saw "Precious" recently and considered it a dynamic work in movie-making. Unfortunately, it was a disturbing insight into some very horrifying realities in life and society's subcultures. I've heard many say these portrayals and situations are more harmful than helpful to African-American images and issues. I left the theater feeling so proud of the writers, producers, actors, etc., but I, too, was deeply grieved by the images and issues, and not because African-Americans were portrayed in such a poor way; I was fighting tears knowing that the problems are real, and even worse. I'm just sayin'...the truth hurts.

I'M JUST SAYIN'

2009-12-02T10:37:00.000-08:00

All I Want For Christmas Is Everything!

Dear Santa:

I remember when I was five years old and the mean 'ol, mean 'ol little girls next door told me that you weren't real. They laughed. I cried. The laugh was on them, however. When I got my beautiful doll on Christmas Day, that settled it. I knew you were the real deal. My parents even said so.

Santa, a little part of that little girl has never grown up. She still believes in miracles, fantasies and "happily ever after." She still daydreams and wishes, and smiles about her lofty visions and imaginings. No, I wasn't about to let two little mean girls stop me from believing in a wonderful world where wonderful things can happen out of nowhere by just believing. After all, you gave me some of my best fun, ever.

With all that being said, I have this year's list all ready for you. I thank you for all of the toys and games, but I am all grown up now, and this list...well, it's what big girls want for Christmas. So here goes:

Twelve pairs of designer boots, size 9.
Mix 'em up: booties, knee-high and above the knee.

Eleven pairs of designer shoes (Gucci, Louboutin, etc.) No flats, please.

Ten-day cruise vacation. I really NEED this.

Nine sets of matching Tiffany Jewelry.

Eight Deluxe Spa visits.

Seven Best-selling motivational books.
I wouldn't want you to think I'm so shallow that I don't think I need to be smart.

Six Chanel suits, size 8. No, 6. I can lose 5lbs.

Five Golden Rings. This is good. A couple carats each, at least, O.K.?

Four Tickets to the Superbowl.

Three-piece Louis Vuitton Luggage set.

Two huge diamond stud earrings.

One 500 Series Mercedes Benz

I wanted to give you enough time, so I'm sending you this letter three weeks in advance. I want to let you know that I haven't been pouting or naughty. I've been really nice, so when you're checking my list and checking it twice, we shouldn't have any problems with that.

One more thing: the last time I saw you, you were kinda old, and a little fat. Any chance that you can show up this year younger, taller, dark and handsome? I'm just sayin'...I'm not a little girl anymore.

Thanks, Santa. See you soon!

Silver Rae

S.R.F.

Need a Great Gift Idea? Give Someone a Reason to Smile!

2009-12-02T09:13:00.000-08:00

We're in a season of emotional highs and lows. The economy has taken a toll on many lives and families, and so many are fighting to have the faith to enjoy a "Merry" Christmas or a "Happy" New Year. These are difficult times for millions of people. 'Tis the season, yet the days ahead are filled with discouragement and uncertainty.

Not everyone is feeling thankful, joyful or full of anticipation about Christmas or the onset of 2010. Not everyone feels a reason to rejoice, or throngs of excitement, nor the spirit of joviality. Some people are feeling overwhelmed with depression right now for lack of a job, money, food and other basic necessities. Some are experiencing sadness and grief because they are all alone. Others are anxious over our materialistic view and adaptations of the holidays.

The anxiety and grief will literally overtake some. Suicidal thoughts will embrace the minds of some others. Brokenheartedness will be unbearable to many. Yes, in the midst of our jingling bells and dashing through the snow, the holidays will be very difficult in many homes.

For those of us who have hearts and minds prepared to enjoy the holiday season, those who are very fortunate to be experiencing the "fullness" of this time, please pause for a moment to remember those who will face these days with emptiness and hardship. They will have no friends or family to share the days with. They won't have any money. They won't have gifts. No Santa.They won't have hope. They may not be unknown faces. They may be neighbors, relatives or friends.

Could you make time to give them a call or stop by to visit? Can you spare and share a few dollars? Give special words of encouragement to the ones who feel they have nothing to look forward to? Perhaps, you could include someone or a family in some of your plans? People with empty shelves, empty tables, no tree, no presents and empty arms, could you give some food, a gift, a hug, some love?

I imagine that most of us are feeling the elation about the holidays ahead. Christmas and New Year's Day bring with it so much happiness and optimism. With Thanksgiving having just passed, we're still experiencing the mood of celebration, feeling joyous accord with the days ahead. Our attitudes are spirited, we're feeling confident and capable of letting go of the old, excited about the opportunities before us. Because we may not be the one who is in crisis, this is, indeed, just one more reason to celebrate. However, I know that by reaching out to touch just one individual's life, you will be making an important and valuable difference through your blessedness. You could make someone's holiday very special and the most memorable one ever, for both of you.

S.R.F.

Jimmy Moore Shares His Courageous Weight Loss Story on FOXOLOGY

2009-11-25T09:39:00.000-08:00

Today's FOXOLOGY, "WEIGHT A MINUTE!" features Jimmy Moore, author of "21 Life Lessons From Livin' La Vida Low-Carb: How The Healthy Low-Carb Lifestyle Changed Everything I Thought I Knew" (BookSurge 2009). It's his brand new release and it's available on AMAZON.com now! He won an amazing battle against obesity by losing a whopping 180 lbs! He shares his intimate story of self-discovery, courage and victory with me, and you'll be inspired! Tune in today at 1 PM CST on TalkZone.com to hear how Jimmy took control of his weight and his life!

Click on image to order your copy of his new book NOW!

IN YOUR BUSINESS Solving Workplace Worries

2009-11-02T13:29:00.000-08:00

Sometimes It Feels Like Nobody's Watching Me

Earlier this year, to cut overhead in my department, my company terminated our on-site manager. Our group, consisting of twenty employees, is now supervised by three team leads. Everything seems to be going well for the most part as far as day-to-day functions, except that our previous on-site manager was responsible for our employee evaluations, which directly affect regular wage increases and yearly bonuses for all of us. I am concerned about how this process will be handled now, how to approach my company about this, since the team leads don't have the authority to do evaluations, and no one is here to do them?

Georgia B., Data Entry
Chicago, IL

Dear Georgia:

That is an interesting situation, but not nearly as complex as it may appear. It sounds like you just want to be sure you get the raise and bonus that you feel you deserve.

First of all, just ask. Contact your human resources department, or the next level of supervision, and ask professionally and politely, "Hey, you know I have been wondering since 'so-and-so' is no longer with us, how will the evaluations and bonuses be handled?" It's a simple and reasonable question to pose to them, and it's likely someone has been thinking about how it is going to be handled. However, if for some reason they have failed to, which is possible, then it's good that you stepped in with your question to give them a heads-up.

My other thought is, although there is no manager on site, that in no way means that your work ethics and efforts are going "unnoticed" by others in the company. You may not realize it, but somebody's keeping an "eye" on you guys, watching and evaluating, although from afar. If you keep doing your job well, you can make sure you are recognized for it. Without question YOUR work will speak so loudly that they have to see it and commend you. You will get what you deserve. Hopefully, that bonus!

S.R.F.

I'M JUST SAYIN'

2009-11-02T12:17:00.000-08:00

BACK UP. BACK WAY- AAAAAY UP.

I'll make this short and sweet. I knew it was a smart thing to back up off of Brett Favre. As indecisive as he may have appeared, he sure doesn't seem to have that problem on the football field. I'm just sayin'...he is kickin' some...pigskin.

FAMILY MATTERS

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? Sarah Palin's daughter's baby-daddy is suddenly in the celebrity spotlight?! I'm just sayin'...maybe it's just me, but are we really that hungry to see him in Playgirl, and if so, WHY? I can think of a few other true celebrity types I wouldn't mind getting a warm flush over, but most of them would probably never consider it.

PURR-RRRRRRRRRR.
REALLY loved Michelle Obama's Halloween outfit! I'm just sayin'...I guess you have to be a girl to understand that she was "represent'in" the feline in the best of us. Anyway, it was such a cute choice...especially when you're married to the "lion king." I'm just sayin'...that's what I call PURRRRR-FECT!

S.R.F.

IMAGE POINT

2009-11-02T10:19:00.000-08:00

Where's My Key?

Are you trying to discover the key to well-being and happiness, wondering where to look, where is it hiding, and how do you get to it?

It is interesting when we take a long look at ourselves and analyze what we consider our faults and shortcomings. We will very often want to shift the blame to others if we are not feeling happy and satisfied. We can feel trapped in draining responsibilities, in poor relationships, in physical, mental and emotional demands. Depending on who you are, the list may vary or go on and on.

It can take a great effort on our part to take realistic stock of where we are, how we got there and what to do about it. No one may be to blame for the circumstances. Life happens, and here we are. Nonetheless, it is our responsibility to reconstruct our thinking and situations if we are not happy. If it's only one or two things, such as a career not working out for you, or an overload of activity, it's reasonably simple to begin looking at new career choices that could bring you greater personal satisfaction and success.

In other cases, however, when you may be overall displeased with the way things are, and possibly yourself, your processing of the status quo may involve lengthy contemplation, insight, careful planning and maneuvering. You may have to struggle through years of issues, problems and fears that have kept you where you are. Here are some considerations that may help:

1. Consider a complete change in lifestyle. That may mean something as wonderful as moving to another city, or something as challenging as eliminating all of the negative people and influences in your life PERMANENTLY.

2. Decide to think differently. Make a determined effort to see the glass half full, the silver lining, the brighter side of things.

3. Get some advice from people who are high on life. Ask them questions, watch them, follow their lead. They will encourage you, too.

4. Take the high road. Getting where you want to go isn't through back alleys and side streets. It's a waste of time trying to shortcut the process.

5. Make good decisions. Think things through. Deliberate. Question. Think futuristically. Think results.

6. Remember your purpose. Your intention is to thrive, not just survive. You'll serve yourself well to THINK BIG and believe it.

There are many keys to happiness and well-being, not just one. There are many doors that can open up and offer us so many satisfying possibilities. As far as your mind can stretch, the plethora of things that can bring you joy abound. You can cut and carve your key according to your best imaginings. What's that I hear? Opportunity, success and happiness knocking? Can YOU hear it? O.K., unlock the door!

S.R.F.

YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

2009-11-01T14:01:00.000-08:00

Breaking Up and Breaking?

Depending on the circumstances, breaking up can be so very devastating. It can leave you hurt, lonely, confused. You had imagined there was certainly a future in the relationship. You had thought for sure that he or she was THE ONE, the one and only one. Now you have discovered that you were wrong, and you find your self-esteem is shattered in a million pieces, along with the difficult task of finding ways to put those pieces of your life and heart back together again.

If you played the leading role in the break-up, chances are you still feel pretty "together." Hurt, maybe, but you realize that break-ups do happen, and sometimes MUST happen, and so for you, life goes on. However, if you are the one who got dumped, you may be feeling rejected, disrespected, disregarded, degraded and depressed. In other words, all the wonderful things you felt about yourself when you knew that you were wanted and needed have been broken apart, too.

Listen, fret for a while if you must, but you will do yourself a major injustice if you allow wallowing in self-pity and sorrow for too long. Your pride in yourself does not rest in the fact that you thought someone else "esteemed" you. Your pride should be built upon the strengths and abilities you possess, and how much and how well you are able to esteem YOURSELF.

If he or she was your only reason for living, your only reason for feeling good about yourself and your only reason for feeling good about life, then you have a self-esteem building project on your hands. You will have to begin all over again, from the bottom up, laying a brand new foundation for yourself; a foundation built on pride, dignity, self-respect, and all the wonderful abilities that are unique to you. Look within for the "tools and bricks," not on the "outside." AFFIRM, AFFIRM, AFFIRM that you are an absolutely wonderful, awesome creation who is worthy of being loved, and I might add, by YOURSELF first!

For most people, rushing to try to replace a lost love with someone else to fill the void is the wrong quick fix. We do it because we think that will prove that we are desirable and worthy again. Stop right there. Wrong foundation. You CAN stand on your OWN foundation. You CAN develop confidence in YOURSELF again. Then, when you are ready and able to love again, you can do that in your new found strengths and not out of weakness or inabilities to feel good about yourself on your own. The best relationships are those that are built on mutual love, mutual admiration and mutual respect. To get it, you gotta bring it.

So, if you are currently the sufferer of a breakup, remember that you are not Humpty-Dumpty. Right now it might be a little bit difficult to see how everything will fit, but you can and will put all the pieces back together again.

S.R.F.

Earn Money Like a Superstar!

2009-10-11T16:47:00.000-07:00

OPPORTUNITY IS KNOCKING!

Would you like to have plenty of EXTRA money all the time? Would you like to pay off your bills and live debt free? Would you like to buy that new car and that new home that you've been dreaming of? Would you like the opportunity to generate the income that can make these dreams a reality?

You can be a part of a fast-growing network marketing endeavor that offers top-notch health and wellness products and an incredible money-making opportunity for you! Ready to get started? Please email me at silverraefox@gmail.com for additional info!

FOXOLOGY: GO FOR THE TKO

2009-10-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

A Plight To The Finish: The School of Hard Knocks

Chances are you've heard of The School of Hard Knocks. It's that place of education that you're thrown into against your will, and allowed to graduate from regardless of your grade point average.

The "SOHK" University, the school where you learn about life the hard way. It's that place where mistakes offer Master's degrees, and difficulties will earn you a Doctorate.

Yes, dealing with life can be down right exasperating at times, intense, a real battle. Seems like the harder you try, the harder it gets? Seems like each time you start trucking down your path to success, you get completely lost? Seems like you try to do good, but bad things always happen? You keep getting tripped up, ripped up, turned around, flattened out? You feel like that last difficulty was the final blow? Yeah? You're in The School of Hard Knocks.

Before you go to the after school pity party, take caution. That's the wrong sorority to join. You can start to feel sorry for the person you look at in the mirror each day, or start to take really good notes about yourself. You can sing sad songs and harmonize with the difficulties of life, or analyze where the problems strike a chord and learn from it. You can feel kicked and knocked around, or teach yourself to administer healing and remedies to your wounds, and your situations.The SOHK University is continuously giving you the opportunity to learn and grow, pass or fail.

Study is crucial, so study hard. Learn from your mistakes. Listen to your "instructors". Every situation teaches us something. Pay attention. Don't miss the obvious information that is right in front of you guiding you and giving you insight.

Don't be discouraged. Actually, you're in school with the most elite. The SOHK University's enrollment is full, and the cost is high. We pay a premium price for the wisdom we get at this school. Most often it's from our bank of blood, sweat and tears. However, if you can still get up and walk across the stage of life, then you made it. Stand, and hold your head up high.You may have to wait in line a very long time, but life is handing out degrees in TKO's and there's one with your name on it.

S.R.F.

I'M JUST SAYING...

2009-10-04T13:13:00.000-07:00

Mr. President, Keep Your Eyes On The Prize

My heart is so saddened by all the recent controversy in regard to President Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. My personal opinion is that with all that the President HAS accomplished, should we be so surprised and critical? I wonder why we question the intelligence and impressions of the committee that chose to honor him? Just a few men who lack good judgement and common sense? I think not.

President Obama managed to rally millions to support him. We were of various races, ages, beliefs, ethnicities, cultures and backgrounds. Who else has done that so powerfully and efficiently recently? A few million of us gathered to see him sworn into office, joyfully, PEACEFULLY, pridefilled, and without incident, I might add. Many leaders around the world respect him, and are poised to consider his advances toward resolving world conflicts. Have we forgotten what his history-making, landmark achievement represents? I pray not.

He has said that he even thinks he is undeserving of the Nobel Peace Prize. I find his humility to be another asset to his character, however, I believe in the confidence of the committee and their desire to esteem him with such a prestigious recognition, and I am happy that I won't be one of the naysayers. I think Martin Luther King would be shaking his head at us in dismay right now. I can't say for sure, but I believe that he would respect the accomplishments and efforts of President Obama, and see them as a definite contribution to world peace. Will we falter right now in what we believe is to come by the time his tenure in office is done? I will not.

My message to President Obama would be to keep his eyes on the prize, that being accomplishing the vision you had in mind for this country and the people in it. The people who realize that your work is very difficult, and must be purposed, calculated and strategized, are still standing with you. Yes, I am also weary over the problems we have ongoing in our nation, but I did not lose faith in the government even before you came into office. We are still a very strong nation and I know you will help us to recover from many of our current dilemas.

I'm just sayin'...so many of us still believe in you, and feel you are so deserving of the honored Nobel Peace Prize. We see where you're going. Congratulations to you. We're so proud!

S.R.F.

Size 16 is the new size 10, or something like that.

I'm guilty. I want to stay at a flattering weight and size, like most women in the world. Sometimes I obsess about it. It seems that whether we are a size 2 or 22, weight is always a struggle, and we struggle to be comfortable with ourselves overall as a result. I'm just sayin'...maybe it's about time stop the madness and weigh-in on what's really important. Maybe we should work more on making sure our self-esteem busting out at the seams.

Hair...care?

O.K. So, now we know that Tyra Banks and Oprah Winfrey have nice heads of hair, all their own: BIG NEWS? I'm just sayin'...do we care? Didn't they know we loved them even when we didn't know this?

Ooooouch!

One of my new favorite shows is SHARK TANK. I'm just sayin'...these guys shoot straight from the hip. If you have a business idea that you are brave enough to convince them to believe in, you will walk away with incredible financial backing and support, or realize you've been wasting a lot of your time and your money on your efforts. They will give you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. If you can't take the shark "bites"...don't jump in. You'll be eaten alive. On the other hand, if they like your idea, and you can get them hooked....I'm just sayin'... you'll be swimming with the best. Love that show!

S.R.F.

IMAGE POINT

2009-10-04T12:29:00.000-07:00

UNCOMFORTABLE IN YOUR SKIN?

At this time of year when the weather is getting dry and cold, our skin tends to be rougher, dryer and flaky. Skin may feel "papery" and tight from lack of moisture, the most obvious signs seen on our hands, elbows and feet. However, your entire body may be craving some deeper moisturizing, too!

By nature the skin thickens in the wintertime to help protect you from the cold, and roughness and dryness follow as a matter of course. The perfect solution is a luxurious bath to aid in softening, smoothing and soothing that irritated skin. Taking the time to soak away the problem of dryness with a prepared bath loosens, relaxes and restores elasticity and moisture.

For the preparation, you will need a bath water product that is specifically developed for moisturizing, (rather than ordinary bubble bath, which is usually just liquid soap). Milk bath solutions are excellent, products that contain lanolin, mineral oils, emollients, aloe vera and such, offer deep body skin conditioning. The results: a smooth, silky feel to your body.

For extraordinary benefits, use a body scrub two or three times a week. Or, using a loofa sponge can give you fast, amazing results after only one use. Natural loofa products, those from the ocean plant, are very effective for removing dry surface skin. Soak in your favorite bath preparation for about ten minutes, then use your loofa sponge, gently massaging dry areas, such as feet knees, elbows and hands. Be sure to allow the sponge to soak prior to use as well to prevent any abrasions to the skin. Your skin will be soft and glowing!

Follow your luxury bath time with body cream or oil in your favorite scent. You need not be itchy or irritable from dry skin when relief is only a comforting bath away. Candles and company are optional.

S.R.F.

IN YOUR BUSINESS Solving Workplace Worries

2009-10-04T11:28:00.000-07:00

ALL WORK, SOMETIMES PLAY

I work for a company that encourages employees to get together as a group to attend planned activities such as bowling, sports events, etc. They feel that this is a way of increasing team effectiveness, if we also participate in casual time together, too. My problem is that I never go to any of the events, which my department hosts about six times a year. I am wondering if I look like someone who is not a team player as a result? As much time as I spend at work with these people, I am really just not interested in this "casual time" together. What do you think?

Linda
Sales Division
Birmingham, AL

Dear Linda:

Let's look at the upside first: it really is prettty commendable that your company encourages this kind of regular synergy between employees. Obviously, they recognize that people who can play together will often work together much better, too. Our work relationships are so one-dimensional in that we only get to know people in their "work mode", which can be absent of the great personality factors we discover in casual situations.

Activities away from work allow us to see others more relaxed, and willing to be engaged in conversation that let us learn what kind of person they are as a friend, mom or dad, husband or wife, etc. We get to see other things about them, and experience them more "relationally" than we do during work hours (of course, sometimes that can be a bad thing). Overall, the ethic here is that building the casual relationships among the workers increases the productivity and satisfaction among them while on the job.

The downside is that you might experience negative situations that work out just the opposite. Not all employees shine outside of the workplace, even though they appear "sterling" while they are there. You can come away surprised and in dismay at "off-hours" antics.

In answer to your question, I think you should at least make an effort to attend one or two of the events, just to show you believe in the work/play ethic itself. Most of us have only "all work and no play" with our co-workers, so these planned activities really are a kind of cool opportunity to get to know each other on another level. While it may not be making you look bad by not attending, playing along with the team serves to make you look very good in the game.

S.R.F.

YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

2009-10-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

Let Me Think...

I think I will...maybe I won't...I probaby should...if I do...well, I just don't know...just let the pieces fall where they may. Sound like you?

The truth is, it sounds like all of us at some time or another. How do you feel about making decisions? Do you usually know what's right or best? Or are you the kind of person who procratinates, ponders, or some one who assuredly proceeds on the path that you think is the best choice?

Decisions can be very difficult. Some require much time and effort. Some things need to be looked at inside and out. Our most important decisions require critical and analytical thinking to get the best results, requiring that you break down the situation into smaller "thought -size" pieces, giving each point microscopic scrutiny.

The smaller, less difficult decisions can often be made quickly. Without much consideration given to the outcome, we can anticipate from prior experience what the results could possibly be. If only all of life's decisions were so easy!

Unfortunately, all of life's decisions ARE NOT easy, and more unfortunately, sometimes we leave some of our vital decisions unaddressed for too long. What happens then? What happens is that a problem which may have been resolved, now has become a mammoth situation, and more difficult to tackle.

Why do we do this? We often are intimidated by the change a decision can bring, or fearful of facing the consequences of our decision. Even worse, we don't decide because we think we will make a wrong or bad choice. We duck and dodge some decisions because our lack of confidence in ourselves to do the right thing.

While we struggle to know what to do, it's good for all of us to realize that we can't and will not always be right. We won't always make the best or correct decisions or choices. I've had to look face-to-face at bad decisions and wrong choices, and if you're like me, some of the resulting circumstances produced were none too kind and hard to fix. That's bad news, especially when your hope is that your "good" decision is supposed to be the "fix"! Life happens though, and we just won't be on target every time.

Even so, we learn so much from our foibles, and poor decision-making. Decision-making skill is often best developed when we make mistakes. If we choose the wrong thing a time or two (or twenty), we are more careful to use wisdom and analysis futher down the road when tough decisions need to be made.

Our confidence in ourselves, and our self-esteem strengthen when we begin to make better and bolder, more accurate decisions. We feel self-assured about the results, and even if it doesn't result in the manner we intended, we still feel confident dealing with the damage.

With all this in mind, certainly this decision stuff is a risky business. Time can slip away. Opportunities can be lost. Things can go from critical to crisis. A situation can go from bad to worse. A little fire can become an inferno. Or, you can take advantage of timing with confidence. Or, you can grasp opportunity fearlessly. Or, you can take charge and manage your way through a hard process. Or, you can be a "fire-fighter" and "handle your business" with assertiveness and skill. Hmmmm...let me think...you could exercise more control of your life, affairs, and yourself. You decide.

S.R.F.

COULD THIS BE THE BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR?

2009-09-04T14:42:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends!

I am so excited about this new venture! It's a phenomenal time to get on board, so I want to share the news with you!

If you've considered being your own boss, working your own hours and making really great money, I'd love to have you on my team!

I'll be glad to answer any of your questions personally. To contact me, please email me at silverraefox@gmail.com and I will send you the business plan!

Your Partner in Success,

Silver Rae

I'M JUST SAYIN'...

2009-09-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

THE POLLS: SAY WHAT?!

Okay, I have to go there again: this poll stuff has me on edge. "President Obama's approval ratings are still dropping..." I'm just sayin', I'm still not sure who is being polled. Anyway, here's what I think: Barack Obama has been President for 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...7 1/2 months...and certainly that's plenty of time to solve all of the problems of the nation? C'mon, People. I'm just sayin'...how long does it take any of us to get through some of the most difficult situations in our own lives? It takes some time, even for small problems, right? So why is it that whoever these folks are that are being polled expect that the United States should be flipped back over, right side up, in less than 8 months? I don't feel this way just because I'm an African-American. It would not matter to me if whoever we elected was a white person, a black, brown, yellow, red, green or polka-dotted person, or someone from outer space, for that matter. I would vote for the candidate that I felt would do the right thing for our country regardless. Needless to say, though, I am agitated by the "poll message" stuff. I'm just sayin'...remember the poll that was taken on November 4, 2008? That poll put President Obama in the White House. Ask me again, and I'll say the same thing I did that day. He got my vote that day. He gets it today, too. I'm sure I speak for the majority.

What are you doing...?

I'm becoming quite fascinated with the whole social media craze, although I have to admit that I'm a late bloomer. By the time you tweet, FaceBook, get LinkedIn, chat, skype, etc., etc., etc.,...I'm just sayin'...some days it's waaaaaaaaaaay too much information.

The stage was waiting, Whitney! Welcome back!

It was so exciting to see Whitney Houston having so much fun on GMA this week! I was so pleased to see her on stage again! Later that day I actually heard some TV feedback criticizing her performance. I'm just sayin'...let's keep in mind that the real "come back" for her isn't only to the stage. She has made a come back from the grips of a terrible struggle, and that in itself is worth taking center stage! No one can take her place in the spotlight, in the hearts of those of us who have missed her so much. I'm just sayin'...if she had sung the Hokey-Pokey, I still would have been delighted. She's an awesome woman, in EVERY way!

S.R.F.

FOXOLOGY: DID YOUR DREAM DIE? Stop The Funeral!

2009-09-04T09:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, so you made some plans. You worked your plan. You invested time and money, blood, sweat and tears. You just knew it was going to work. You believed it couldn't fail. After all, you did everything right. Then, you woke up one morning and found your dream dead. It died in spite all of your unending efforts to keep it alive. You even tried resuscitating it. It didn't come back to life.

STOP THE FUNERAL!

If your dream has died, chances are you are broken and grieving. You may feel very sad that all you had hoped for now has to be buried in a grave place of non-existence where dead dreams lie to rest. You may be feeling like you can't go on. You may be feeling like you can't dream any more dreams. You may be feeling like the best thing to do is just bury it, and deal with it. Or, you could STOP THE FUNERAL, and realize that your dream needs motivation-to-mind resuscitation. Motivation-to-mind? I'm glad you asked. It's when your heart's motivation says you need to try again, and your mind's eye responds accordingly. As tough as it may be, dreams can be revived. You can "breathe" into it once again, and give it new life. Mourn, cry, fret, fuss but stop the funeral.

Countless innovations, inventions and creations have come to fruition because tenacious individuals refused to let their dreams die. Many have risked all they had to give life to the things we enjoy everyday. Their dreams had power failures, periods of arrest, and spent time in "critical condition". Yes, many a dream has seen "the other side" and been at "death's door", but through furious, fervent faith and audacious attempts to stop it from dying, those who believed in their passion, their purpose and the dream, said "No, you will live!"

Have you ever considered how many people may need your dream to live? Have you even considered how important or valuable your dream's contribution may be to many, or even the masses? Have you thought about what might happen if you go ahead with the funeral? How many others may be left mourning because your dream got buried, and they were never given the opportunity to be inspired or motivated by the life of it? What if your dream is the pathway to the future dreams of your family, your school, your church, community, city, state, the nation, or maybe even the world? What if you stop the funeral now, and start remembering the wonderful reasons you had the dream in the first place?

By now you get the point. However, I know you may be thinking that the desire just isn't there any longer. You've chased your fantasies, and you're tired. I understand. I am a true dreamer myself, and I really get it when you say "Enough already. I'm letting it go." Well, I've learned that desire can be a liar in some cases. Some "dreams" I let die because they were desires that sometimes lacked structure, strategy and were not shaped for real necessary purposes. In other words, sometimes we dream the wrong stuff, for the wrong reasons. Those you can let go of. In fact, bury them fast. The kind of dreams I am speaking of in this commentary are the kind that make your heart feel full of "knowing" what you were meant to do, and what you were meant to accomplish. I am talking about the kind of dream that you see so clearly in your mind that you know that it's going to give birth to itself. Somehow, someway, in time it's going to come to life and live.

This past weekend I attended the funeral of a family member. What was interesting was that the second that I walked through the doors of the church, the choir was singing, people were on their feet, clapping and rocking from side to side. The funeral service had not even begun yet. Instead of just tears, there was an atmosphere of rejoicing that was unbelievable. By the time the service ended, you had to wonder if you had just attended a funeral or for sure a dynamic, inspiring endeavor to revive the "life" of a person whose impact should continue to live. You see, that makes me know that in the midst of dealing with a dead dream, we can get up onto our feet, declare some new faith and strength and dare to make that dream live on.

And yes, we can even sing, too. I think of one of my favorite Yolanda Adams songs that says "Keep the dream alive. Don't let it die if something deep inside keeps inspiring you to try." It's a beautiful message. Keep trying because something deep inside won't let you let your dream die. Keep trying. Sometimes that is all it takes to keep our dream from becoming a fatality. Wipe away your tears. Fight hard against your frustrations. Encourage yourself. Odd fate and failure happens to the best of us. I am a FIRM believer that we just can't let our dreams die no matter what.

Isn't it amazing to know that there is still room for your dream to live in this big world of phenomenal and extraordinary happenings? It can live. It can thrive. It can matter. Stop the funeral now. Start making other plans. Your dream needs to live!

S.R.F.

IMAGE POINT

2009-09-02T04:07:00.000-07:00

What Do You See?

Have you ever gotten up in the morning, looked in the mirror, wondering about who you really are, and how do you really fit in the scheme of things? That image says a lot more than just what you see, huh?

You know, we can wish, but there is no real magic to this life. We have no "abbra-ka-dabbra's" for making ourselves into celebrities, movies stars or for turning our lives into the likes of the rich and famous. Most of us are pretty ordinary people with ordinary lives, but most of us have extraordinary hopes, expectations and dreams.

It's a better idea to get up in the morning PLANNING what you want to become, DESIGNING your "place" in life. You should EVALUATE your talents, your gifts and your abilities and RECOGNIZE your potential and strengths. Grow very fond of that person who reflects back at you in the mirror. That person needs to be pampered by you constantly, so that he or she can reflect his or her best to the world.

The person looking back at you in the mirror should know you are their best friend. That person should know that he or she can depend on you when the chips are down, and that he or she will be there for you when no one else will be.

When it comes to getting up and looking at yourself in the mirror, life isn't so much about how beautiful or handsome you are. It's about what you see on the inside that should give you pride and confidence: a sense of security, commitment and direction, and knowing that where you fit in is a special place in life all your own. So, now look again. Hope. Dream. Expect. Yeah, that's what I call beautiful!

S.R.F.

YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

2009-09-02T02:50:00.000-07:00

THE BRIGHTER SIDE

Life's many trials, twists and turns have an inevitable way of shaping us for good or bad, for better or for worse. Sometimes those difficulties and challenges can produce a "down and out" attitude. They can rob us of our self-esteem. They can cause us to view life from a very negative perspective. Since we can't always avoid difficulties, it makes sense to try to use them to our advantage. Yes, to our advantage. But,how do we do that?

We can either allow negative thinking to govern us, or we can choose to take a positive point of view, a futuristic and optimistic perspective in regard to ourselves and our desired outcomes. We could let negative thinking dictate and drown out all our dreams and hammer down all of our hopes, or grasp onto "possibility thinking" with all our might!

Many of us let negative thinking banish any ideas about how we should see ourselves, as the confident and capable individuals that we really are. We can begin to help ourselves by regulating our thinking with new and positive ideas so that we are not victims of the negative perceptions, but victorious over them.

We become our own worst enemy because we constantly beat ourselves down with negative talk and thinking. One of the reasons that we do this is because to change how we think and feel can be such a challenge in itself. To go from negative to positive requires awareness, effort and consistency.

We get frustrated with the idea of the "positive thinking" approach because we very often have to work with our thoughts and the things affecting them at the same time. You may be trying to really think positive and it doesn't appear that everyone and everything else is cooperating with you. The negative thoughts keep coming and it seems like things have not changed, and neither have you. We get frustrated with the effort because the visions and the negative thoughts keep popping into our heads.

As soon as they do, just keep reminding and reminding yourself of your new, positive outlook. Repetition is the key here. You will need to repeat things over and over to yourself until your attitude is affecting your actions, and until you are convinced of your great abilities and capabilities. Keep at it as long as it takes. You say you've tried and you think these methods are faulty because everything isn't positive just because you try to convince yourself that it is? Well, you are so right! It sure isn't. The key to positive thinking is taking a different perspective, and as someone once said "you will never develop eyestrain from developing the habit of looking on the brighter side of things."

There is a brighter side, even if it's not currently in perfect view.

So many things can cause negative thinking; failures, pain, lack of love and acceptance, insecurity and so on. The great news in that positive thinking can open your eyes and help you see a new direction. It can help to raise your level of understanding of who you are as a person and how very special you are. Try it. Try it, again. And, again. It will work for you. I'm positive that it will!

S.R.F.

IN YOUR BUSINESS

2009-09-02T01:49:00.000-07:00

Working hard for the money...well, not so much.

I work for a manager who is responsible for getting our work load distributed to us daily. My group is usually under pressure to complete work assignments because the manager doesn't give us the work in a timely fashion. We have had complaints from our customers because we are late getting orders out. If she would do her job, we could all do ours on time. We are at the mercy of our manager's lack of concern and inefficiency. How can those of us in subordinate positions handle something like this?

Casey, Processing Dept.

Chicago, Ill

Dear Casey:

Here's a thought: remember, your manager works for someone, too. It's O.K. to alert your company to issues that you feel are effecting the productivity of your unit. It's sometimes necessary to inform your manager's boss about a situation like this one. Unfortunately, she may be passing the blame onto all of you for any negative feedback that may have come in from customers to the company, without your knowledge, not accepting the blame herself.

Oftentimes, those is higher up positions are not aware of the daily hands-on efforts of those who are working for them on other levels, and sometimes the problems can go unrecognized for a long time unless it's reported. I feel pretty certain that any credible company would want to know if a manager is slacking on the job, and thus creating difficulty with the services they provide.Try asking for a team meeting and see if everyone can get on the same page. Explain your concerns, and see if things get remedied that way. Otherwise, if the lazy-manager syndrome continues, report it. There is a chance your company will really appreciate you for it.

S.R.F.

Did You Hear That? That's Opportunity Knocking!!

2009-08-27T07:52:00.000-07:00

This could be the opportunity that you have been dreaming of! NOW is the time to take advantage of this unique business opportunity. You can be your own boss! Please email me at silverraefox@gmail.com for additional information!

YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

2009-08-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

Give Life Your Best Shot

Are you trying to give life your best shot, but somehow seem to keep missing the target? Does it seem like the harder you try, the harder it gets to live optimally and reach your goals?

Most of us would have to admit that life is sometimes a struggle. Surely most of us would also admit that we would like to get more out of life, but for reasons that we can't always understand, we often meet with trouble, turmoil, challenges and even defeat. We miss our targets.The "good life" is not within eye shot.

If there is any assurance that I can give you today, it is that you can survive and come out a winner. Think back. How many times have you thought you were incapable of getting past a particular difficulty or problem, but somehow you did? Maybe you didn't land exactly where you wanted to after the dust settled, but you survived.

Chances are your are stronger and more determined than you were then, too. So what if you have missed a target or two. That's O.K! Perhaps, things have weighed you down to a point where it seemed that you couldn't get from under the pressure, or the climb up the ladder has gotten tougher and tougher. Or you're sitll in the race, but you're running out of steam. It happens to all of us. Well, it is truly amazing what you can do if you believe you can. Everything happens. If you don't believe you can, those results are pretty amazing, too: nothing happens.

The key thing to do is not to dwell on the problems, but to GRASP onto the possibilities. HOLD on to positive thoughts. TALK about the things you CAN do, and the things that you are going to MAKE HAPPEN. TAKE ACTION in making change. FACE CHALLENGES with a strong will and motivation. Believe that you can do just about anything you try to!

Have the confidence that your faith in yourself CAN stomp out any negativity, any fear and any doubt. KNOW that you CAN be what you want to be. KNOW that you CAN do the things that you have always wanted to do.

The sooner you believe this, your target goals become clearer. You'll take solid hold of new ideas, and your aim will be more focused. The sooner you decide that your life, hopes and dreams are worth shooting for, the sooner you will declare "this time I'll hit the bull's eye!" The sooner you decide that you're going to give life your best shot, you'll aim high, and you won't miss!

S.R.F.

Informative, Insightful and Intelligent Talk

2009-08-14T19:57:00.000-07:00

TUNE IN!

Silver Rae Fox showcases a new dimension in daytime talk with savvy, intelligent conversation, a down-to-earth style and real-life approach that makes for great listening.

It's light, motivational, inspiring, educational and entertaining talk on a variety of subjects that will stimulate the interest of even the most discerning listener!

It's a take-it-to-the-next-level approach on today's current events, issues and topics.

FOXOLOGY with Silver Rae Fox airs Wednesdays at 12 Noon CST on the internet's #1 venue for quality talk programming TalkZone.com

I'M JUST SAYIN'...

2009-08-14T17:04:00.000-07:00

DON'T SWEAT IT!

Hillary, was it a hot flash that caused you to lose your cool?

I had the best laugh watching that clip. That snap had to be the result of a hot flash. It was truly so out of character for Hillary. I'm just sayin'...a hot flash will make you want to slap somebody. They come on suddenly.There is no way out of it. You may exhibit unusual behavior and say strange things. One minute you're happy, smiling and in a "flash", there it is. I'm just sayin'...they can really mess with your attitude. MPW's (menopausal women), can you feel me on this one? Honestly, didn't she have that hot flash look on her face?

OLE'!!!

Congratulations to U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor! I'm just sayin'...you gotta love it! It's hard to believe that there was a time when women were not even allowed to vote, let alone hold such a prominent political office. We really have come a long way, Baby! Ole'!!!

O.K...CALM DOWN

People are so furious over the health care reform issues...all that rage, screaming and yelling ...I'm just sayin'...some of them won't have to worry about health care because they are going to give themselves a doggone fatal heart attack! For goodness sake, take a chill pill for now and let's see how everything shakes out in the morning.

S.R.F.

FOXOLOGY: Bless Your Brick Walls

2009-08-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

Have You Run Into A Brick Wall?

Life happens and sometimes, without fair warning, we run into a brick wall. We fall down. We cry. We let our dreams die. Just recently I smacked right into one. However, this time I wasn't so startled or stymied. This time I was able to walk away from the situation without any serious damage, thinking maybe this "collision" was necessary. Maybe, just maybe it was for the best

That kind of wisdom has come with a price. A few months ago, something happened that really helped me to look at brick walls quite differently. Since then, I think that brick walls may not always be a bad thing.

I want to share the sequence of events leading up to my revelation, just in case you've run into a brick wall and you're struggling with the reasons, and wondering why. I know this will help you. Here's my story:

Needless to say, along with all the other November 4th-ers, I was pretty excited on election day when my presidential choice got the overwhelming vote into the highest office in the land. For me, it was cause for celebration for more reasons than one. It was my birthday.

My heart knew that the only other gift to give myself was to get to Washington D.C. for the inauguration, so I started planning. Most hotels in the D.C. area were already booked, so I ended up with reservations in a wonderful but distant hotel location in Baltimore, 45 minutes from the Capitol. That was not a problem for me since I'm sort of a "road dog", and I love long, scenic drives, especially in areas that I haven't traveled before.

I knew the airports would be chaotic during that time, so I decided to take to the road and make the 800-mile trek across the country from the midwest to D.C. No problem. I've driven thousands of miles up and down the country. I love it.

I invited my 77 year-old God Mother, Lois McKee, to come along as my driving companion for the trip. It meant so much to take her with me to witness the inauguration. I usually travel the roads alone, it's all a part of the "taking it all in" while I'm driving thing. That usually works best for me. When I drive alone I can think, plan and process without interruptions. This was different though. She is very spirited and an absolute delight to be around. I knew that being a part of this historic event meant as much, if not more, to her as it did to me. I also knew she would sleep most of the trip.

We were both anxious and excited as the days got closer. We had planned our trip around events we would be able to attend and really looked forward to all of the hoopla ahead. I had actually gotten a ticket from my Senator's office for the inauguration, which, unfortunately meant absolutely nothing once I got into the press of the crowd that was as equally determined to see this historic happening. It was every man, or woman for themselves.

We left Chicago around eight in the morning on the Sunday before the inauguration, and had a smooth trip, arriving in Baltimore around eight that night. We ordered room service, chatted for a bit and went to bed. Rising early on Monday, we dashed into the D.C. area to attend Rev. Al Sharpton's Prayer Breakfast at the downtown Hyatt. We were running a little late and the program was well underway by the time we arrived, but because mother and Rev. Al are long-time "buds" we got in and got seated pretty much right away. There were several dignitaries, celebrities and recognizable folks there. So very cool!

Right after that event, I did a casual two-hour "what's going on in D.C." radio update over the phone to report to anxious listeners back home on the extraordinary "feel" in that was in air. While I was on the phone, ABC's David Muir glanced over at me as he was passing by. I smiled and waved an excited "Hey, that's David Muir!" wave. He smiled and waved back. WOW! I'm thinking everybody is here. This was really something! The excitement, pride and awe was so thick, you would have to be dead to not sense the power of it. It was so easy to translate it over the air. It was simply one of the most amazing experiences to be a part of, without a doubt.

While I did the radio show, Mother went on to another event for the afternoon with some friends at the breakfast. We planned to meet up later, but I got really bad directions trying to find the location and got really lost. I literally spent several hours stuck in traffic, which had gotten very crazy and nearly impossible to maneuver through. At one point I was lost in a residential area, and stuck behind this limousine. I'm waiting...waiting...waiting...then Donna Brazile comes out of the house. I rolled down my window to say "hey" to her, introduced myself, and told her how much I had been enjoying her analyst dialogs on TV. She told me that she was actually on her way to do another CNN interview. I told her that I enjoyed meeting her, and she went on her way. I was so glad that I had not honked at her driver.

At this point I feel the day is going pretty well, inspite of the traffic drama. I finally found the location of the event that my Mother had attended. I swooped her up and headed to Howard University for another terrific rally. This one was hosted by CNN's Roland Martin, with more of Mother's "buds", Rev. Jesse Jackson and Dr. Cornell West, who were special guests along with Rev. Al, Donna Brazile, and another saavy female journalist with the Washington Post, whose name I don't recall right now.

Some parts of the forum were broadcast live on CNN, showcasing the many young people who were ecstatic over the ideas and dialog about their new President. I kept looking at Roland thinking " I know that guy from somewhere besides CNN..." Later it occurred to me that I really did know him and his wife, Jackie, from years ago when I was living in Houston. She and I were both at the same church for years. Unfortunately, by the time I had connected the dots on that, it was too late to say "Hey, I know you!" I was well on my way back to Baltimore for the night. It had been a great rally, and a great day, and I knew this was going to be a great trip.

Being so unfamiliar with the area, I did not find my way to the correct highway immediately. It took me about thirty minutes, but I finally saw a sign that promised it would take me to Baltimore. I eased on down the highway, intently watching for the Baltimore exit. When I saw it, I signaled to get into the entry lane, which was to my left. I sighed a sigh of relief knowing that I would be back at the hotel within the hour.

That sense of relief was short-lived. In a split second, a speeding car that was trying to NOT take the exit, attempted to cross over into my lane to his right, directly in front of me as I was crossing into the same lane from my left. To avoid a tragic collision, I swung right.

The oncoming traffic to my right was trying to swerve to avoid colliding with me. I swung left trying to dodge the stream of oncoming vehicles. I lost complete control of the car with that twist of the steering wheel. It was evening, and I all I can remember is the bright white of oncoming headlights as my vehicle spun around twice in the middle of the freeway. Feeling totally helpless, I began to pray out loud, knowing that there was no other way out of this. It was over. My mother chimed in. There we were, both asking earnestly for the only intervention that could possibly save us.

As the car skidded off the road, we were headed head-on into a brick wall, still moving at a high speed. In a flash I turned the steering wheel hard and fast to the left in an attempt to save our lives. Instead of a head-on impact, my car responded to my hard pull and collided with the wall on the rear driver-side. The bang into the wall was fierce sounding and abrupt. I remember watching us in what seemed like slow motion being thrown forward and then back into an upright seated position.

I waited for a few seconds, to see if I was alive. Or hurt. I looked over at Mother after I realized that I was still breathing, and asked her if she was O.K. What a terrifble rumble for a 77 year-old! She said yes, and that she felt fine. We were wearing our seatbelts, or else I am sure we would have suffered some physical trauma, or worse.

I told her that I was going to get out and check the car. It was smashed, but not nearly as bad as I had thought it would be. I got back in, and started my ignition. It started after a little "gurgle" and I accerlerated slowly to see if I would be able to drive away or not. Within seconds, we were back on the road to Baltimore. Amazingly, neither of us was visibly shaken, even though I knew I needed to get somewhere and sit down. We had not eaten since breakfast so we were both ready to get quiet, comfortable and reflect.

When we got to Baltimore, we went to a restaurant across the street from the hotel for dinner, and discussed the incredible event that we had just experienced. We were both very thankful to be sitting there, feeling fine, and un-injured. It was a miracle.

Many times since, I have pondered that accident. As I mentioned earlier, I travel a lot in my truck, miles and miles across the country. I have never had an accident. I thought of all the bridges I've crossed, the mountains I've driven through, the beautiful steep valleys I always enjoyed looking at. I've thought of all of the places that vehicle could have skidded off the road with no brick wall to stop it. I thought of how, on that particular day, that brick wall was there, and that brickwall was a blessing.

I've thought about all the times in my life when I hit a "brick wall" and that maybe those were blessings, too. We may never know some of the difficult circumstances that may have finished us off or done us in, but because there was a brick wall there, it stopped us from facing some other tragic outcome.

Yes, life is so very interesting and thought-worthy. Things will happen without any warning, and I've learned that I don't have to fall, cry, or let my dreams die as a result. I was very fortunate that I was able to drive my vehicle all the way back home, just as I have been fortunate to keep on truckin' in spite of life's hard, abrupt collisions. I've come away from them ultimately feeling fine, and safe. I had gone to Washington D.C. to celebrate my birthday and our new President. As well, I came away celebrating a brick wall and a blessing.

S.R. F.

I'M JUST SAYIN'...

2009-08-03T07:44:00.000-07:00

OBAMA POLL DRAMA

THE POLLS, THE POLLS, THE POLLS... O.K. Is it just me or are you feeling a little left out of the whole polling thing? According to the latest polling stats, our wonderful, terrific, awesome, brilliant, phenomenal, extraordinary President of these United States' approval rating has dropped to 49%. Nobody asked me. I'm just sayin'...the man is methodological, a visionary, NOT a magician. He gets an A+ from me for having a great plan! Will everything work? Maybe not, but to me it looks like some fires have been put out, and he has stopped some of the bleeding. With all of the "ills" we are suffering, America, it will take some time to heal. I really believe that the good of the people and this country is really at the top of the list this time, finally.

IT'S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE
Brett Farve...I'm just sayin'...give this guy a break...who of us have not felt VERY confused when making a very difficult decision? It is very hard to say goodbye to the love of your life...football has been his life. He's dealt with some real challenges in the last few years, too. Have some heart, People! Brett, you are not OLD. You are ONLY 39...far from being an antique, Guy. I'm just sayin', there is still a whole lot of life ahead for you!

MICHAEL JACKSON: R.I.P., if you can.

It's disheartening to think that the Jackson family will never be able to have complete rest from all of this media stuff. I guess it's the price you pay for fame. I'm just sayin'...too bad it's so costly.

TV DIVA: GO GIRL!

WENDY WILLIAMS is doing her thing on TV! Not the Wendy Williams I remember...but I'm just sayin'...I like seeing people overcome their obstacles and demons and take it to the next level, and I REALLY enjoy the show! You Go, Girl! How you doin'?

WATCH FOR MORE "I'M JUST SAYIN'..." COMMENTS ON FOLXOLOGY!

S.R.F.

I'LL KICK YOUR "BUT"!

2009-08-02T21:30:00.000-07:00

NO EXCUSES! GET YOUR KICKBUTCLUB.COM T-SHIRT TODAY!

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IN YOUR BUSINESS Solving Workplace Worries

2009-08-01T03:21:00.000-07:00

She's Got The Look: It Just Happens To Be The Wrong One

I am a manager in a large, world-wide corporation. We have dress codes that are in place to promote an image of professionalism, both within our company and outside events. I have a rep who often dresses inappropriately for a daytime office environment. Her clothing is well-suited to her, but not the image for business: too sexy, to revealing in most cases. Since this is of such a personal nature, I would like to have some suggestions on how to address this. Thank you in advance.

L. R., Outreach Specialist
Detroit, Michigan

Dear L.R.:

First of all, I disagree that it is of a personal nature. Unless it is just bothersome to you at some personal level, then this is solely business, not personal. I knew of another manager who shared a story in a class that I was facilitating that had a similar issue arise: an employee, who was female, was getting too much of the wrong kind of attention from the guys in her department because of her provocative attire. The manager, who was male, decided to talk with her about it. He explained to her that a different kind of apparel for office would be much better and more conducive to their workplace. Interestingly, the young lady took his advice, dressed more professionally, and actually formed better "professional" relationships with the men in her department. Apparently, they viewed her differently after she changed her "look". She was very appreciative to her manager for his advice and genuine concern.

Perhaps, you can use this information for addressing your employee. Tell her she's got the look, just not the right one for your workplace.

S.R.F.

IMAGE POINT

2009-08-01T01:47:00.000-07:00

Weight a minute...don't eat that!

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know. Easier said than done. But what are we going to do, People? We are constantly obsessing about weight, and constantly eating at the same time!

It's time to stop and think: wait a minute before you grab that delicious "thing" that will have you sucking in your tummy, and looking squinty-eyed at your butt and waistline the next day.

I believe that our best battle against weight gain and our best success for weight loss is that we have to FOCUS, really FOCUS, on control. We have to just "weight" a minute, endeavoring moment by moment, if necessary, to get a grip on our crazy cravings. We have to "weight" a minute, stop, point a finger at ourselves and say emphatically "don't eat that!"

Everyone of us has heard it thousands of times by now that we should be eating better. We know hundreds of ways to cut calories. We have tried countless diets. So what is the real problem here? SELF-CONTROL!

Doesn't this sound catchy: "The Self-Control Diet Plan: Stop Eating Everything You Want." That's the real solution to our dire diet desires. We just can't eat everything we want and be weight-wise at the same time. We don't need WILLPOWER to lose weight. We need WON'T POWER: I WON'T eat THAT! And I WON'T eat THAT...and I definitely WON'T any longer eat THAT!

So, I will spare you the dirty details of dieting and the boring advice. I will encourage you to do what I know works for sure. Stop eating so much. Stop eating so often. "Weight" a minute or two and think of something else to do.

S.R.F.

FIND YOUR PURPOSE!

2009-07-28T20:57:00.000-07:00

PURPOSE + PASSION + POSITION = A VERY SATISFYING CAREER!
Join us Wednesday, July 29th, at 12 Noon CST for this week's lesson in "LIFE COUTURE" on "That's What I'm Talkin' About"! We will take a close look at the combination for successful employment with national speaker, trainer and author of Work Makes Me Sick!, Jeff Percival. Tell your friends!

WWW.TALKZONE.COM

GET OFF THE PORCH!

2009-07-13T16:25:00.000-07:00

ARE YOU LISTENING?

Seriously...have you been listening?

Do you know what separates the "BIG DOGS" that sniff out every opportunity from the meek-hearted little "PUPS" that stay on the porch, sleeping and letting life slip by? Well, you need to know!

BIG DOGS are alert and listening. They run after opportunity. They hear the call to rise. They love the sweet smell of success!

You need to join the pack of listeners who have their nose on the path and their ears peeled back for info! If you missed the "BUT" kick-off and "PLUG INTO YOUR POWER," just go to our show page and click on "previous episodes" to listen!

Don't make excuses! GET OFF THE PORCH! You know you want to run with the big dogs. You know you want more out of life. And, you know you deserve it!

"THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT"

On the Internet's #1 venue for talk programming!

Wednesdays 12 NOON CST

WWW.TALKZONE.COM

LISTEN UP!

2009-07-04T02:58:00.000-07:00

"LIFE COUTURE"

This is a 12-week designer course on life and how to make yours AMAZING! Don't Miss it! Starts July 1, 2009!

"THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT"

Internet Radio on TalkZone.com

SILVER RAE FOX

and

CASSANDRA McSHEPARD

Wednesdays 12:00 Noon cst

Beginning July 1, 2009

LIVE STREAM NOW at http://www.talkzone.com/playlive-talkzone.asp

TALKZONE.COM listeners tune in worldwide in 135 countries and 5500 cities throughout the U.S. It's the #1 internet venue for excellence in talk programming! Join the crowd!

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Video Intro: This Is Where The "But" Kickin' Starts!

2009-07-03T23:43:00.000-07:00

JOIN KICKBUTCLUB.COM TODAY! No More Excuses! Live your life to the fullest! Realize your dreams! Reach your goals! Lose that weight! Find that perfect career! Design your destiny! Become a KICK BUT CLUB Member now - IT'S FREE! Print your official "I'M KICKIN' BUT" Certificate and get serious! Get commited! You need your "But" kicked! Check it out:

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FOXOLOGY: It's "But" Kickin' Time!

2009-07-03T23:04:00.000-07:00

You Need Your "BUT" Kicked!

If you've been dragging your "but" for a while, chances are you may be feeling a little uncomfortable. Let's say it together: OUCH!

You daydream, imagine, yearn and long for a certain something, "but" you think it's impossible, too late, too difficult, too big. If you feel this way, your 'but" hurts!

Perhaps, it's hurting any chance of you making a decision to look at the possibilities of bringing your dream to fruition, of realizing their is still enough time to do the special things you've put off indefinitely, of understanding that you can overcome the difficulty of the climb to success, that you can achieve something, perhaps, extraordinarily big.

Your excuses, however real they may appear, cause you to procrastinate. Unfortunately, too many people end up taking their desires to be more and do more with them to their graves. That doesn't have to be you. That dragging "but" needs to be kicked out of the way!

Here's a few ideas to consider:

Look at life as opportunistic. Chances are that whatever it is you are wanting to do, it really is possible. Someone once said, "there are no more impossible dreams." Whatever it is, you can do it!

Look at life with optimism. Optimism is choosing to take a positive point of view. If your"but" is blocking that point of view, your "but" is too big. Move your big "but" and get a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, then go after it.

Have a "YES I CAN" attitude! Overcoming obstacles is a part of achieving most successes. Don't let them distract, discourage, disappoint you to the point of giving up. They really help to build up your motivational muscle. Keep moving!

Make a commitment to take action. We must make a commitment to ourselves to plan, pursue and follow through until we reach our goals. Remember, no one can see them through but you. Absence of commitment can create patterns of drifting, while committment will multiply your chances of accomplishment.

Have faith in yourself. It is not unusual to have feelings of apprehension, and to be somewhat unsure of yourself. However, you must move confidently, ready to conquer every little whisper of fear or hesitation.

Do not give yourself permission to quit. Quitting is not allowed unless under unusual or catastrophic circumstances. Otherwise, even when things are weighing you down, you're feeling the pressure, the climb up the ladder is getting tougher and tougher, take a breathe-er, however, don't quit.

Taste the success. If you can see yourself skinnier, wealthier, more educated, in a better career or position, achieving more, making a difference or making a name for yourself, hold to that vision. Think about it. Meditate on it. Talk about it. See it, and what it will mean in your future. Make it real in your mind. Our thoughts are the keys to our destiny. See and taste the success in your thinking!

Hopefully, these suggestions will help to kick your "but." After all, is there any real reason that you can't do what you dream of? Chances are the reason isn't real. No more excuses, O.K.?

S.R.F.

IN YOUR BUSINESS Solving Workplace Worries

2009-07-03T22:22:00.000-07:00

Much Ado About Nothing

I work next to someone who seems to be doing much of nothing during the day. She talks on the phone a lot and is away from her desk for long periods of time. It bothers me because I have so much to do, and I am always under pressure to get it done. Honestly, I resent it, and that makes things even worse. What should I do?

L.R., Claims Adjuster
Kansas City, Kansas

Dear L.R.:

You could try asking for help with your workload. Maybe start with a light task to test her response. You may find that she is very willing to assist you. She may be as bored as you are resentful.

Since you work so closely together, I am assuming that you work on related tasks. Soliciting help when needed is a part of working together as a team. Ask politely "If you have time, can I get you to help me with this?" Hopefully, her answer will be "Yes."

S.R.F.

IMAGE POINT

2009-07-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

SKIN CARE:

The Whole Truth and

Nothing But The Truth

Do you really want to know the secret to having great looking, healthy and youthful looking skin? The truth is: faithful, tender loving care.

The Proof

You could pay a million dollars for a promise of wrinkle softeners, and various other product "guarantees," but I tell you a truth: the proof is not in the product alone. It's how conscientious you are in the proper treatment of your skin.

Good skin care produces good-looking skin. Here are a few tips:

Treat your skin as gently as you would a baby's bottom. Always be gentle with your skin. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, EVER pull, tug, stretch, pinch or pick at it. NEVER.

STOP rubbing your eyes. This causes more lines, wrinkles, bruising and discoloration that you can imagine. The skin around your eyes is ultra-thin and very easily damaged. If your eyes itch or tire, you probably rub them a hundred times a day. Try this: STOP THE RUBBING for five days. You will be amazed at the healing, the clearer color, and the disappearance of the discoloration around your eyes. In many cases, those "bags" are bruises and swelling from all that rubbing!

Invest in skin care products (inexpensive products are fine) and use them faithfully. Wash gently, rinse extremely well, tone and moisturize, twice a day at least. The regimen is the same for men and women.

MEN ONLY: After shaving, apply witch hazel, and moisturize LIGHTLY with natural aloe vera before you apply your aftershave or cologne. You will enjoy the results of better looking and better feeling skin in the long term.

If you have discoloration or spotty areas on your face, use a little hydrogen peroxide on a cotton pad and wipe those areas at least once daily.

Once or twice a week, prick open a vitamin E capsule, spread the oil onto your face. Apply a warm cloth to your face about three or four times, for about a minute. Then, wipe off the excess. This stimulates your skin, opens your pores, adds moisture and the natural properties of vitamin E into your skin.

Treat yourself to an expert if necessary, but remember, for the best care in the long run, it's in your own hands. That's the truth.

S.R. F.

YOUR SELF- ESTEEM

2009-07-03T19:46:00.000-07:00

LONELY HEARTS CLUB: MEMBERSHIP CANCELLED

Are you lonely? Yearning for some company, companionship, some stimulating connections? Really...?

Well, here's some news: there are too many things to do, and too many people to know to allow yourself to feel that way! Loneliness is a feeling, but if you let it become a way of life, one of these ol' mornings you are going to wake up with your better days having passed you by. It's true.

You should wake up, alright. Wake up now, rather than later, and smell the possibilities. Don't join the Lonely Hearts Club just yet. It has way too many members already. Cancel any thought of joining.

Try making an agreement with yourself to not listen to another "living all alone" sad song. Stop having pity parties. It may be time for you to swing to the beat of a different dance, to sing the words of a new song, to seek out some entertainment outside the "walls" you have put around your life.

Feelings of loneliness hurt. The loneliness seems so real. So, before you start reaching out, reach within first, and start working on that lonely heart condition in ways that you and only you can help yourself; in ways that only you can aid in healing yourself; in ways that you and only you can love yourself. Look in the mirror. You're special, and worthy of all of the self-love and self-esteem in the world. Say these words aloud: "I love myself. I love myself. I love myself!" That wasn't so hard, was it?

Now is a good time for you to meet the challenge of love vs. lonely: you against yourself, the positive choices against the negative introspection. The loneliness can overtake you only if you let it. It can overtake you only if you don't fight it.

The condition won't disappear until you try to beat it. Strategies for whipping loneliness are simple: Getting up, getting your mind made up, getting going and getting involved. Get it? Good.

S.R.F.

Oh, Mr. President! Smooches!

2009-06-01T22:11:00.000-07:00

This is just so CRAZY COOL!

The little guy in the picture is my third-generation cousin, Christian. My guess is that you probably already know who the other guy is!

Apparently, during his campaigning, he made a stop in South Bend, Indiana, where some of my relatives live. (I was there recently for my uncle's homegoing ceremony, and afterwords some of my cousins and I were reminiscing over old and new photos and they showed me this article). Anyway, Little Christian was there that day wearing his "Babies For Obama" T-shirt. Who would notice, especially in a thick crowd of Obama T-shirt wearing supporters? Well, our President did! He made the comment "that's a cute baby" while looking over the crowd, sporting that big smile and in his typical charming, humorous manner. Who knew what would happen next?

Well, my cousin Camesha, Christian's mother, kind of lost it, realizing that the then Senator had noticed her child in the crowd, after mentioning that he had shaken millions of hands and kissed a million babies. She raised Christian up high in the air and screamed, "pass my baby down there!" Yeah, she really did.

O.K. Now get this picture: little Christian is literally being passed from raised hands to raised hands until he reaches the security guys who then give the baby to President Obama. Well, the picture tells the rest of the story! He then plants a big smooch right on Christian's cheek! Now, tell me if that is not just CRAZY COOL!

For more on the story that appeared in the South Bend Tribune, here's the link:

http://gallery.pictopia.com/southbendtribune/gallery/72473/photo/7474873/?o=25

S.R.F.

IN YOUR BUSINESS Solving Workplace Worries

2009-06-01T21:28:00.000-07:00

Is Work a Pain In The Neck?

I have been on my job for only a few months, and I am in a position that I am usually on the phone all day. I hug the phone to my ear with my shoulder while I am talking so I can continue to use my hands while I take my calls. The problem is that I suffer now from severe neck pain and I may have to file for workman's compensation as a result. I am concerned about how to handle this properly. I don't want to jeopardize my job. Do you have any suggestions?

H. N., Customer Relations

Arlington, Texas

Dear H. N.:

First of all, you should be using a headset. Your employer has the responsibility to supply this equipment for the ease and comfort of doing your job. I suggest you request the headset, and give yourself time to let the muscles in your neck re-adjust before you consider filing a compensation claim.

If you have sustained some permanent injury, that's something that definitely warrants taking a formal approach to getting time off to heal. However, I think you may discover that you simply have pain in the neck from using improper phone equipment. You will probably feel better very shortly, once you are using the headset regularly instead.

Hope that helps!

S.R.F.

IMAGE POINT

2009-06-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

EVERYBODY ON YOUR FEET!

Most of us don't give feet the special love and care they deserve. They hit hard ground hundreds of times a day under the pressure of body weight, most often in enclosed shoes, and for us ladies, often inches off the ground.

Sometimes the results are sore, aching, tired feet, fallen arches, corns, callouses, and GRIEF! Alas, there is help you can give yourself to make your walk through life a little easier:

1. After coming out of your regular shoes, find a comfortable place to sit. Put your feet up if possible. Scrunch your feet and toes tightly for ten seconds, then stretch them out for ten seconds, then relax. Repeat the exercise for five to ten minutes.

2. Use a glass soda bottle, exercising one foot at a time, roll the bottle underneath your foot from the tips of your toes to heels. This is great for relieving the tension in your feet.

3. A good old hand massage for feet is very effective for ridding yourself of the kinks. This exercise can be performed by another party. Oh joy!

4. Regular pedicures can help eliminate odd toenail growth that can cause significant pain.

5. Visit a foot doctor. If you have foot discomfort that is unusual and persistent, you may need medical advice and attention.

These are just a few remedies. Regular care gets the best results. And, remember, too, there is nothing like the feeling of a plain old-fashioned hot water soak! Add a little epsom salt, and you're good to go!

S.R.F.

YOUR SELF ESTEEM

2009-06-01T18:54:00.000-07:00

DON'T HATE ME 'CAUSE I'M WALKIN' TALL

Are you jealous of other people? Do you find that some encounters fill you with envy and irritation, and that you have feelings of disdain, or even hatred that seems to surface when you're in their presence? Do some people make you feel intimidated and insecure because of how good they feel about themselves?

Of course, if the answer is yes, yes, and well...yes, then we need to talk. Let me tell you a story:

When I was a young girl, my mother gave me some very wise guidance. She told me not to waste my time being jealous of other people. Her words were strong words of caution, if not an intended warning to help me understand the importance of developing my own identity and not worrying about someone else's.

My Mother told me that we are all born with the same capabilities, and what one person chooses to do with himself/herself, his/her resources and gifts, is entirely up to them, and for another individual to be mad or jealous because of nicer clothes, better looks or more confidence was ridiculous. Actually, she considered it more than ridiculous. She said it was stupid. During this mother-daughter moment, she dared to teach me that the issue and effort of my self-esteem was up to me and not to be based on evaluations and comparisons that stemmed from envy. She said that you lose yourself, your own identity, who you are and what you can become when you allow jealousy and envy to take away from your own self interest. She said that it was a waste of energy that could be better used on something important, like myself.

I got this lecture laid on me when I had gone to my mother with what I thought was a pretty important issue. My concern at the time was that I had requested a pair of new shoes, shoes that no money was available to buy for me. We just didn't have the money, and even though the shoes that I had to wear were really worn, the issue of new ones was not a priority. In case you are wondering, yes, this was during a time when parents didn't buy 30, 40 and 50 pairs of shoes for their children.

I tried to explain to my mother how important this was to me, because all the other girls at school looked so nice. I wasn't jealous of any of them, I don't think, but I was truly embarrassed about the condition of my shoes. You would have to know my mother to know the look she was giving me: that "you're kidding, right? slanty-eyed look", just before she began to state (or maybe it was more like yelling) her firm objections and frustrations toward me regarding my request.

Her perception of my argument was that I was jealous, and making unnecessary comparisons of what I didn't have to what others did have. She really went off, telling me that I was never to compare myself to anyone. She said, "hold your head up and walk like you have on new shoes." She went on to tell me that there would be many a time in my life when you will have to hold your head up and walk like you've got it together when you really don't. She said wearing new shoes in one thing, having pride in yourself regardless is another.

Well, from that day to this one, I've never wasted the precious time that she suggested that I use on myself. My mother was absolutely right. She was a living example. If you could have seen her always dressing as nice as we could afford, you would not have guessed the hardships she had come through. She walked tall in spite of it all.

Her clothes were always sharp and crisply pressed, and so was her attitude about herself. She may not have stood out in a crowd, and most folks maybe would not have seen her as anyone special. But the wonderful thing is that she carried herself like she was, and in her own mind, she knew enough to walk like she was indeed very special, and beyond comparison.

S.R.F.

VIDEO INTRO: IT'S ABOUT TIME!

2009-06-01T16:28:00.000-07:00

FOXOLOGY: IT'S ABOUT TIME!

2009-05-31T19:56:00.000-07:00

Tick...Tock...

I won't bore you with overstated comments like "seize the moment", "do it now" or "don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today." Instead, I will fast-forward past the cliches, and cut straight to the chase:TIME IS NOT CHEAP. It has a very high price tag. It's so valuable that you can't argue that each moment is unique and irreplaceable. It's value, if not captured and invested, is lost forever. Not one minute can ever be brought back to it's original existence.

So, what does that mean in the scope of things? What does it mean in the scope of life, and life plans, and our very existences? Well, probably nothing that you haven't heard before, except that since time has such a high price tag, wouldn't it make sense to stop trying to get it at a bargain, and start thinking of it as the most precious thing we own? I wrote a poem that may explain just what I mean:

"The Man Who Tried To Buy Some Time"

There was a man who went to buy some time,

He had wasted much, you see.

He wanted to bargain for more of it, to see if that could be.

But Father Time said, "Sorry, my son, your days have passed,

So valuable they were then."

The old man said, "Yes, sir, now I know, but I'd like to try again."

Begging, he said, "Let me buy some time, just a little more, sir, please!"

Old Father Time responded, "When time is spent, it is rendered gone.

You spent too much at ease.

No price you'd pay can buy you more,

So now, with little left, do what you can."

The man just sat and waited, holding that little time in his hands,

And let even that slip away, and died a regretful man.

The moral is: When time is abundant, spend it wisely. It is sure to tell,

While others may theirs linger and lose, your time has paid you well!

Time is one of the most valuable of all our assets, and the most perishable. We use it, or lose it.

Here are a few FOXOLOGY tips to help you see it's value:

1. The more time you devote to something, work, relationships, success or whatever, the more productivity, effectiveness and satisfaction that will come to you as a return on your time investment. YOU WILL REAP WHAT YOU SOW. It's true. I didn't make that one up.

2. When you pay for your time with procrastination, waiting, slothfulness, lack of ambition and idleness, remember you just paid for it with your life. Can you afford that? Try maximizing by first of all, PAYING attention. Pay attention to ALL the things that are really most important, especially to and for yourself. When you invest time in yourself, you will wake up one morning and discover that you are a pretty incredible commodity

3. STOP THE THIEVES! Is something or someone stealing your time? Is your life full of little time embezzlers? I am talking about the people, circumstances and situations that are taking, without the right or permission, your valuable time resources? Are they stealing the valuable inner resources that help you to stay well-balanced, on-task and sane? Stop NOW, and give yourself and the people who really matter PRIORITY STATUS! Everyone else has to wait a minute, or an hour, or a day, OR forever, or find someone else to steal from!

4. PAY A HIGHER TIME PRICE to reach your goals. Why not take a risk? When big dreams come to fruition, they usually pay us BIGGER dividends for the time we have invested.

5. Here is a concept worth considering: there are three types of time commodities we can learn from, the "goods", the "bads" and the "uglies." The "goods" are the things you have going for yourself, the time you spent making yourself more valuable, i.e., education, skills, training, experience, talent, creativity, etc. These are the "gains", obvious signs of wise time investments. BUT DON'T STOP THERE. Spend and invest even more time making yourself even better at whatever it is you do!

6. Then there are the "bads." These are the things you invest your time in that give you a poor return on your time investment. Started a project and just never finished it? Buying all that diet stuff and never really changing your eating habits? Never reading those books you bought? The list is long. These unnecessary time expenditures can be costly. GET SERIOUS with yourself, and when you do, you will get a serious return on your investment!

7. Now, the "uglies." These are the things that simply failed. You spent plenty of time on them, but the time investment did not give you the expected returns. Your business went under after years of hard work. Your marriage didn't survive. You lost your wonderful job. You lost the competition that you had prepared so long and hard to win. Now, you are asking yourself, was any of it worth the time? Yes, these were ugly, painful losses of time, for sure. On the other hand, someone once said "Pain makes you think. Thought makes you wise. Wisdom makes life endurable." That says to me that no ugly time frame in your should be considered a total loss. Wisdom, once it surfaces, is like treasure in your time bank. Wisdom always pays great rewards on your time going forward.

8. MAKE TIME DEPOSITS. These are some great reminders for all of us: take that class you have been wanting to take; read that book; go on that trip;buy that new car; go back to school; get a different job; change your environment; learn a sport, etc.

9. HANDLE, DIRECT, CONDUCT, CONTROL your time to the best of your ability. Be flexible, but organized. It helps to think of your time in portions, segments, durations and periods. You then can more rationally allocate people, tasks and purposes into the time frames. Try it. It really works.

10. Lastly, HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE! I've been around long enough to know that you really have to make up your mind that you are going to really enjoy the time that you are here on this earth. I once heard a very wise person say "death is the one moment that we must all come to in life. Living is the millions of minutes until we get there." There are so many great things to do. Wonderful things to accomplish. Pleasures to be enjoyed. Happinesses to be had. Make up your mind to make every minute count for something!

By now, you get the point. Don't waste time. It's pricey. Don't bury it, bank it: in yourself, your goals, your happiness, your dreams, the people you love and care about.

Everything we will do in life will have some kind of time price tag on it. Whatever you spend your time doing, you will pay for it with minutes, hours, days and years. Don't linger and lose it. Use it well. Relish it. Appreciate it. Enjoy it. Maximize it. Just about anything can be yours! Isn't it about time?

S.R.F.

VIDEO INTRO: Put Your Stress To Rest

2009-04-30T22:53:00.000-07:00