Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Faith Is Knowing God's Got You

"My own issues hardly mattered anymore.
 I really did know that I'd get through
them. I just didn't know exactly how."

I asked God "Is this really happening?"

Optimism comes easy for me, even when things look their dimmest. I've lived a life of faith and practiced positive thinking for so long that I'm deeply rooted in both, in both my heart and my head. With that being said, to say that 2015 was the hardest year of my life isn't an understatement. It's not a complaint. It's not negative thinking. It's just the plain, simple, unfortunate truth. One challenge after another seemed to meet me face-to-face last year, with hard and very severe,  life-shattering blows.

It all began in late 2013 when my daughter was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Consumed with a combination of faith and worry, I was standing firm as a mother, but devastated on the inside to see how she was unexpectedly catapulted into fighting the biggest battle of her life. As I mentioned, at the same I was barely pulling through a time of crisis myself after a series of events that literally knocked the breath out of me and pulled the rug right from under my feet. Even the best laid plans can change, and they had for me also. I was fighting for my own life, too, in an entirely different way. Even so, my own issues hardly mattered to me anymore. I really did know I'd get through them, I just didn't know exactly how. What mattered now was that my daughter was sick, and everything took a back seat to that.

I had recently finished my book and had such wonderful plans in the works for my launch. I was so proud and excited about this accomplishment, until the news of my daughter’s illness took over every bit of my existence. I had lost her twin sister many years ago when they were just little girls, in a tragic car accident. So, now I'm looking up at Heaven and asking "Is this really happening"? It was, and it was happening at the speed of light. 

I'm a fighter, and during that time I functioned best on my knees, praying fervently and constantly. The world around me was crumbling in my hurt and despair for my daughter's tough, new journey. I knew somehow I'd survive my stuff, but this ravaging diagnosis was saying she wouldn't. She had just made so many positive changes for herself after working at a company for many years, and she was about to live out her dreams in the sun and warmth of California. But, everything changed with that one statement: “It’s cancer”. 

Truth is, that news changed the lives of all of us who loved her so dearly and who found it so difficult to watch her fight this disease. Our hearts were broken, and our lives were broken when we lost her. She passed away in May of 2015. She was a real warrior until the end, refusing to die, until God said,  “It’s okay, Nikki. You can rest now.”   Her spirit departed, but her presence stayed. I read these beautiful words just this morning from my "Streams in the Desert" devotional, and they explain in the best way what I mean:

Death doth hide, but not divide; 
Thou are but with Christ on the other side!
Thou art with Christ, and Christ with me; 
In Christ united still are we.  

Yes, this is how I find my greatest comfort. My daughters are with Christ, and Christ is with me. It's almost the end of 2016 now, and I have been allowing myself the solitude I've needed to rest, and to restore my life back to some kind of really good "normal". It hasn't been easy. Like I said, 2015 was truly tough. It was equivalent to being hit by a Mack truck, then trying to make a comeback after lying in coma and being in critical condition all at the same time. I'm thankful, because I do know that many people find it difficult to survive the kind of things I've been through. It's only by God's grace and through faith that I have.

Believe me when I tell you, I'm blessed. I'm so grateful that I've gotten a lot of the rest that was really vital for me this year. I'm still here and I'm still in it to win it. My hopes and dreams are still alive and well. My restoration is still a work in progress, but I'm getting there. I have great peace, and great solace knowing that my girls are resting in heaven. Rest, indeed, Sweet Angels. Yes, faith is knowing God’s got you, and knowing He's got me, too. That's not just optimism, that's the truth. ~ S.R.F.

“What is FAITH? Faith Notes and Quotes to Encourage and Inspire You” by Silver Rae Fox is Available on Amazon.com!

"You will be blessed and
strengthened in your faith by
by the words and wisdom
of this book, I promise! 
What Is FAITH? is filled with quips, quotes and inspiring short stories that  will lift your heart and encourage your soul!

Included are pages for journaling your most heartfelt thoughts and inspirations, too! What Is FAITH? is a wonderful addition to your daily devotional experience and a perfect Holiday gift!

For more than 35 years, Silver Rae Fox has  empowered others as a personal and professional development coach, instructor, speaker and corporate trainer. She is also host of FOXOLOGY TODAY, a Lifestyle and Empowerment Media Program. The show airs on Blog Talk Radio.

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