Friday, July 6, 2018


Self-reflection has to be one of the most difficult of challenges. If we are going to be honest with ourselves when we do it, it feels like having major surgery without anesthesia. It hurts when we dig into ourselves. It’s painful when we strip away falsehoods we’ve been telling ourselves about ourselves. 

Cutting away everything that is not genuine, honest and true within ourselves can be absolutely excruciating to our heart, mind and soul. But, getting to the real heart of who we are requires that kind of surgery and looking within.

If we can’t be totally authentic, then we can’t live truthfully. In the end, that’s what hurts the most. However, "self-reflection surgery" can make a major difference in the way we are and the way we live. If we approach it earnestly, it won't be painless, but it will be worth it.

Here's some tips on getting started:

Self-reflection is not a beat up and bash yourself session. When we look at our faults and flaws, we want to do so sensitively and carefully. Admit those things about yourself that you know are not favorable, the things you know work against you. Write it down, and declare war against it. Work on yourself hour by hour, day by day, until you release the actions and behaviors you don't like about yourself.

Self-reflection is growth. The whole idea is to prune away things about yourself that don't enhance you as the person you see yourself becoming. Pruning makes room for new growth, healthier growth. Let go of your bad attitude. Let go of your attacks on people. Let go of blaming. Let go of hurting others. Look for ways and reasons to present your best self to the world.

Self-reflection is one of the most powerful and positive things you can do for yourself.  You really want to be awesome? Noticed? Attractive? Loved? Respected? Get your "surgical tools" ready! List everything that you need to do to be everything you need to be. If you need help, get it from a counselor or life coach. There is no reason to wait. There is no reason to procrastinate. Let that person who helps become a "mirror" for you, too. It will take some time, but each and every effort you make is taking you into the most powerful and positive way of living, doing and being. You deserve that. ~ S.R.F.