The times in my life when I felt unhappy certainly didn't feel like it was a choice I made to be that way. Stuff happened that disappointed me. Things occurred that caused discouragement and fear. Challenges faced me that were great, and I felt far distanced from anything called happiness back then. So, if unhappiness wasn't a choice I made, how could I possibly be happy just by making the choice to be? It sounds perplexing to our understanding when we first hear it. Well, because, truly it is. It's perplexing, but it is doable.
If it's a mess, it's a mess.
I'm not one who tries to make a situation something that it isn't. If things are a "mess," they just are a mess. There is no other way to change the color or smell of some issues, no matter what you tell yourself. There is good news, though. You don't have to let the mess or messiness gauge everything you think about everything. Like everyone else, I have cares and concerns about life and the people in my life who are most important to me. I have issues to overcome that I know will add to my degree of happiness and satisfaction when they are no longer issues I have to deal with. I have had enough hurt and heartache that could cause permanent scars and states of depression if I wasn't built God-tough. However, in the great majority of problems I have faced, I made a conscious decision not to be brought down by them. I don't mean that I rose up saying "I am woman! Hear me roar!" I feel like a true lioness most of the time, but that's not how I always respond to things when heaviness looms.
There were times when I could only listen to my next breath to know that I was even still alive. In that breath, I could also tell myself that I could keep it moving, slowly but surely, and I did. If I couldn't find the smile within, I looked for the things that would make me smile. It always worked. It was a choice. It still is a choice.
Make the decision.
As much as we can pretend to be superhuman, we are not. There is no magic or magic formulas for conquering the crazy things that come our way. We can only teach and train ourselves to make decisions in our own best interest and futures; so then, yes definitely, happiness really is a choice. We decide. I hope you make the decision to choose it, too. You deserve it. ~ S.R.F.