What Are You Thinking?

I think about thinking all day. You know why? Because that brain of ours is so efficient at doing what it is supposed to do: Taking in, guiding, and feeding our thoughts. It's a whole mental dance.

I can remember how this particular quote impacted me when I first heard it: "Your life will go in the direction of your most dominant thoughts." And, here is another one that will make you THINK: "Wherever you are in life, your thoughts took you there." Wow, right?! That second quote is debatable, though. Where we land is not always our fault, but I do agree that very intentional thinking can guide you to levels of peace, comfort and success.

You've heard about "stinkin'-thinkin'" carrying a toll on your everyday stuff? Certainly you have. It's true that negative thinking will bring poor results, poor resolve, sabotage and failure. This is when and where you have to give some credence to the fact that "your thoughts brought you" there. If you are a negative thinker, you know it's true. Positive thinking does not make every move you make successful and glorious, however, a positive perspective will most often keep you level-headed, optimistic in the midst of setbacks, and powering toward your next move, eventually. Positive thinkers are often happier, too. They believe there is potentially a "better" beyond the worst of things. Is that true? Like I've been saying, it's what you think that matters.

What are you thinking? Good thoughts? Bad thoughts? Are you feeling engulfed in helpless, hopeless thoughts? I know for sure that you are thinking something, so analyze the sad thoughts and the self-destructive thoughts. You are not alone with that type of thinking, but there is a way to help save yourself from further grief, agony and negativity. That first step is to try to release yourself from it. Cry. Shout. Scream. Holler. Get all of the negative energy out to make room for your thoughts to refresh. Get some good therapy. Read some good material. Over time the thoughts minimize if you keep at it. Keep reminding yourself that the negative thoughts will never take you to a positive place and space internally or externally. Write a poster-sized message about that and place it in an area where you see it often. YOU CAN break those stinkin'- thinkin' cycles.

Challenge yourself to get the best out of that incredible brain of yours. You wanna be happy? What are you thinking? You want more peace? What are you thinking? You want better? What are you thinking? THINK about that, and then see where the happy, peaceful and best thoughts take you. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. Here's some food for THOUGHT: You can fuss, cuss, and complain about the rain, or you can dance in it. - S.R.F.

LET'S GET IT! LET'S GO!

Let's get it! Let's go! Yes, Sir! Yes, Ma'am! I am talking to YOU!

What is the thing that you have been putting off for forever and a day? What is it that you put on the back burner long ago that's about to burn up?! What was it that you said is a definite 2025 resolution, for sure goal and an absolute plan, that hasn't gained any ground yet or has yet to bear any fruit? What is it, Sis? What is that thing, Bro? Time to make some headway?

If you needed a wake-up call, this could be it. It's, perhaps, the alarm you needed to shake you from your complacency and get re-motivated. Don't hit "dismiss" if you know this is it. You already know that the plan you have could be life-changing, so keep your eyes open to the possibility and the vision.

If you had pretty much forgotten about what you said you were going to do, then this is likely your reminder to refresh the game plan, focus on intention, and see yourself with the WIN. This time, play hard with intentionality, and remember you cannot score if you are not in the game. Get back in.

If you have lost your motivation, may these words inspire you with the jump-start fuel you need. You will always need more fueling along the journey, but today can be a day that you get yourself moving again. You know what they say, "you only lose if you quit." It's also been said, "don't allow quitting to be an option." Motivation can easily be restored. Remember that idea that once illuminated your thoughts, and you were certain it would light your pathway? It still can. Fire up those thoughts once again!

Plans can get shifted. You can get thrown off track for a time by any number of things. Put your game-face on! Curve balls get thrown at you, but this is the moment, RIGHT NOW, when you say to yourself "I'm in it to win it! C'mon Self, let's get this, LET'S GO!  - S.R.F.

 

YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN

Life is a classroom. We can be good students of learning, or we can be the ones who sat at the back of the room, not paying any real attention, or decide to take a nap instead of gaining the knowledge being given us. Are you paying attention, the kind of attention to the details of life that can teach you the good, the bad, the ugly, the better and the best? It's all out here for us to learn from, all of it.

I love hearing the stories of trial to triumph, from defeat to victory, from down-and-out to moving on up to higher places. All of those stories have lessons in them, lessons learned and lessons to be learned from all those individuals who braved the challenges they faced to get through many hard stages and difficult, stormy seasons. I hear these wonderful reflections and encouraging accounts from the lives of others, and I take notes. We should, their stories tell us that hard things can have a very happy ending, a very happy beginning.

Are you taking any notes of your own? Or, are you napping on the potential to gain knowledge and insights about life, and grow from what you learn? I hope you don't miss any inspiration that comes your way that could teach you something, that could boost your courage, information that could change your life.

A few years ago, I was one of the featured speakers at the University of Houston for a student enrichment day. My topic was on choosing your direction in life. I love speaking, and I always strive to give my best and most valuable insights about anything I'm asked to speak on. I emphasized how important it is to stay on track and stay focused, not new news, but my presentation was definitely unique. Afterwards, a young man came up to me and said, "You changed my life today. Thank you." He said it a few times, in a very definitive way. My heart was melting. He heard me. He knew I cared. He listened, and was going to take away what he had learned. He had paid attention with his head and his heart.

Yes, pay attention with our heads and hearts, that's a great way to walk through life, it's the very essence to living and learning. Lessons abound, through stopping, looking and listening to people, places, predicaments and possibilities. You are in life's classroom, and there's a quote that states "life is a great teacher." Indeed, it is. Grab the wisdom. Grasp the knowledge. No time for napping. - S.R.F.

A CHANGE WILL COME

Life is ever-changing for us, in us, and around us. It can feel like a form of insanity when we look at the particulars and the pace of it all. One moment we can feel in charge. The next moment, a change happened and threw everything off course into a new and different direction, and not necessarily a desirable direction. 

These change "factors" of life happen all day, everyday, and they introduce you to the unexpected and the unanticipated irregularities of our days and lives. Most of us hate it, because so much of it seems to be out of our control. Work stuff. Business stuff. Family stuff. Stuff stuff. "Stuff" happens constantly and we find ourselves at the mercy of its movement.

Honestly, it can be a hard pill to swallow. We want to be "masters of our destinies" and the "captains of our ships," but a swift wind blows or some craziness jumps onto our path, and there we are having to do things another way, at least until we get our bearings and we're feeling less tossed to and fro from the "disturbance".

It would be great if changes that happen could be described in a nicer way, but it is what it is, Folks. The strategy and secret that I have personally learned is to remain as flexible as possible with whatever is going on. I've learned that plans can change based on any number of reasons. I've learned that things won't always go as good or great as you thought they would. I've learned that things can change and go another way on a dime. I have also learned that you can get devastating blows seemingly out of nowhere. You can have your nice, neat life flipped, turned upside-down in a moment. I've learned that not everything is as nailed down and permanent as it looked. 

Yes, I've learned all that, and so much more. And, if I had not learned to understand those things and realize that in most all cases I needed to keep my head on as straight as I possibly could, AND discern the flow of the changes in the circumstances, AND go with that flow it if I needed to, I would be going through the rest of my life at minimum very confused, and at maximum, I'd be pretty crazy, with more emphasis on crazy, not pretty.

What are the options when life seems to be taking over? First thing to remember is to try to keep yourself under control. Life REQUIRES navigation, and a lot of stuff can and will go the way we want it to go if we work with it. Upsets, disturbances and distractions are normal stuff, and we can CHOOSE to get through many things if we just use our heads, and do what we think is the right thing to do, the things that will hopefully give us right and good results.

Secondly, know that you can navigate through almost anything and everything. Master the tools of being aware and prepped for mishaps, misunderstanding and misfortune. It's not a fun way of thinking about things by any means, and it shouldn't have you in a place in your head where you fear waking up in the morning. That would also make you crazy.

Change is gonna come in some of the most interesting and unusual ways. It never means life is against you, be careful to not think that way. There is way more good, and way more good change that can come into our lives on any given day, too. Let that sink in, deeply.

S.R.F.

WHAT'S THE USE YOU ASK?

 What's the use? Have you ever said that when you've been in a struggle? 

Maybe when something you had hoped for, prayed for and dreamed about didn't happen? Or, you have tried and tried and tried to get to your goal and it seems to get further and further away? Well, here's a news flash for you: so many of us have been there, but hopefully not still there.

Although, if you are "still there" in that place of "what's the use" I believe I was sent to give you some encouragement today. As much as we would like for things to happen quickly and easily, that is just not how things will typically go. Most everything we attempt to do will take a lot of effort to get to, whether it's self-growth, or meeting your goal, or any of the other plans you have in your heart and imagination.

What's the use in making all the effort when it's always so stressful? It can be frustrating. It can be exhausting. It can be confusing. It can make you furious. You can feel a great deal of uncertainty about all of it. When every best effort and every best idea falls flat, it can make you want to give up, JUST DON'T.

Don't give up if you believe you are doing the right thing. Don't give up if you believe with just more time and effort, you will make it happen. Don't give up if you've seen it already done by others. That's a definite sign you can get there, too. Give up only when it really was just a fantasy in the first place, only a truly impossible dream. Yes, we do have those made-up scenarios in our heads that will probably never pan out in life. You be the judge, and don't waste another minute on it if that is the case. Save yourself further frustration when you know you are going nowhere fast in reality.

Keep dreaming, though. There are things that are well worth the striving, so keep driving toward your visions. Finally getting there is one of the best feelings in the world. Do the doable, even if it seems to be taking more time than you ever thought it would. Look around. All the things you see was once someone's imagination, desire, creativity and goal. And, yes, you can do it, too. - S.R.F.

FAITH-ING THE FUTURE

Surely, all of us want 2025 to be a really good year. Yes? We are wanting old things to pass away, and for all things to become new? Well, okay, there's THAT, so here's the task before us: One of the ways we do that is taking responsibility for how life unfolds, things that are in our ability to manage and navigate through our faith, choices and actions.  Life is full of potential, and also the blazing and  amazing spiritual power we have through faith that can make so many positive things happen. 

Faith is a very effective tool and ability to impact the days and months ahead. Every moment of life requires reacting, and so our faith helps us to rise, reason, rectify; to restore; to re-do; re-build; re-assess, and to renew things for ourselves. You made some resolutions, right? Yes, that part of how you do life is what I'm referring to right now.

You want a happy new year? Be RESOLUTE about it. Happiness is a choice. Being happy does not mean that we jump out of bed doing cartwheels. It doesn’t mean that we fake excitement or exuberance. It means that we can choose joy. 

We face many, many “facts” in life that can overwhelm us and try to overtake us and bring us back to square one, but let us be bold enough in our FAITH-ING this year, to rise up to the realties and keep moving forward, in faith, making the effort to BE happy. Our perspective can mean so much in our day, and in our year. How we see our future, how we position our expectations, and how we believe what we believe for ourselves is EVERYTHING. ~ S.R.F.

THE WRAP UP

 The year is coming to an end. We usually start thinking of things we need to wrap up by the end of December, like taxes and financial records, the to-do's at work, household clean ups, and stuff we want to toss out. These, and a thousand other things. It's actually a great mindset to have, with the new year just around the corner: "out with the old and in with the new." It really does sound good, doesn't it? Yes, of course, when it works.

Have you ever given much thought to a "wrap up" of your thinking, too? Are there any particular mindsets that have gotten in the way of those plans and resolutions you made for 2024? How many things did you actually accomplish that you thought you would? How many things you said you would achieve actually got put on the back burner, AGAIN? How many reminders did you give yourself about your goals, and you still didn't get to "lift off" with them?

It happens, to most of us. However, one of the best decisions we can make around this time is to be a GOAL-er. I recently shared a thought with someone who told me about six or seven things she was getting ready to do. All, of which, were great ideas and goals. Here's the thing: it can, and will, take strategic thinking and effort to reach goals, even the small ones. They don't just happen. I told her to "compartmentalize" each thing. Then, prioritize their their significance for achieving them. Are some for now? Next month? Next year? The next five years? Thinking in this way will help you actually wrap up those goals in a happy way, in happy timing, and at a truly beautiful time you'll reach your finish lines.

So, indeed, out with the old way of goal-setting with no real strategies. Set yourself up for success with realistic, satisfying, attainable results, on nobody else's time or timeline other than your own. Wrap up the year with commitment and confidence that you will see things to their complete fruition. Do it, and I guarantee you'll see yourself saying "that's a wrap" time and time again. That's a promise. ~ S.R.F.

HOW TO WASTE TIME

Want to know how to waste time? Days, months and years can creep up on you, and before you know it, valuable time has passed by that can't be recouped. Success rarely happens overnight, but whatever your idea is of what that point of achievement looks like, you don't want to let periods of time go by that could have profited you and brought you closer to the pursued objectives.

These are a few of the things that can be obstacles, and a major waste of time:

1. Dreaming a dream and not doing anything to pursue it. We have to make things happen, which means planning and grinding. You can't sit back and expect that all will fall into your lap somehow. It doesn't. It won't. It will be a waste of your time waiting for that to occur. Go for your goals, even if you have to go slow.

2. Wallowing in self-pity after a failure. Whine and complain. Cry for a while. Give yourself a minute to regroup, but whatever you do, don't stay at the pity party wasting time. Work on getting over it, and getting on with your dream.

3. Re-thinking and re-thinking how to reach your goals. Processing helps, but remember that Einstein said to do the same thing over and over and expecting to get different results is insanity. It's also a waste of time. Reflect. Review. Revise.

4. Staying stuck. So, you find yourself at a standstill. Listen, there is a "next". You may have to shut the door on the original plan to get ahead. You may have to start all over. Just do it, and stop wasting time thinking you are done and there is nowhere to go. It's simply not true.

5. Believing you're over and done.  Where is your faith? Catch your breath and shake yourself. If you waste time thinking the game is over, you can lose out on future opportunities because you blinded yourself to them. Possibilities abound. Look for them.

6. Not coming to your own aid. Everybody ain't gonna help you. Stop waiting and waiting and wasting time depending on "someone" to come and make it all happen for you. This is your baby to nurture and grow into something really special. Help yourself. You've got what it takes.

7. Being afraid to knock on new doors. Tired of knocking on doors, so you quit? Say it ain't so! You prefer to just sit around and wait for a door to open? Yes, they can and they do, but waiting could be the wrong effort, because that probably won't happen as quickly as you hoped. Be courageous enough to knock on doors and see what opportunities open up for you sooner than later.

8. Hesitating to follow your gifts. You're gifted in a specific area, and you know it. Put yourself out there so others can see it. Each day that passes by is lost time. Show up for yourself. Hesitation is a bad waiting game, a huge waste of time.

9. Believing that success is supposed to come easy. All I need to say is this, and it's something that I often say: unless you're selling hotdogs and ice cream on the beach, other dreams and goals for success come a little harder to achieve. Be ready to put in the work, and do the time. You don't need to sit back on a setback because things got hard. Pull your together, get up and keep things moving, even when it's hard.

10. Waiting for the right time for something. The right time will be when you develop a plan, and a projected, but not necessarily permanent timeline to get where you want to go. There are a myriad of reasons that make us believe that we must wait for the "right time". You find yourself pondering, years later, and you are still thinking that the right time hasn't come. Unfortunately, it may have come and gone. Do yourself a favor and make the time right.

The clock is ticking. Time is rolling on. The future is before you. Don't let it pass you by. ~ S.R.F.

LEARNING TO LIVE WITH YOUR MISTAKES

Our inner critic, along with the criticism of others, readily remind of us mistakes we've made. Unfortunately, mistakes are often hard to forget. Mistakes are hard to forgive. Mistakes can mess with our hearts, heads and lives. Can we do anything to help ourselves against the battles that mistakes bring?

Everybody is guilty of making mistakes, so let's be clear that we are not in a lane by ourselves. That understanding in itself, should help us make room for some logical processing when it comes to making the mistakes that we do.

If it's a little thing, we should just let it go. If it's a bigger thing, we need to look for solutions. Can it be fixed? Is there redemption? Get to the answers. If we are lazy about rectifying our bloopers, they really can become more and more difficult to deal with, or navigate when it's possible to alter the outcome. We can cry and wallow, feeling sorry for ourselves, or pursue some type of game plan, even if the only game plan is forgiving ourselves for it.

Life is manageable in more ways that we think, THINK being a critical and key factor in the management of stuff, things, and mistakes. Since mistakes seem to play such a devastating role in how we roll with the blunders we create, both common sense and uncommon sense can help. Common sense says "it's going to be okay. I'm going to be okay, mistakes happen." 

Uncommon use of your common sense pretty much says the same things, as well as putting plans, pursuits and possibilities in action that tackles the fixable mistakes. It's common for us to brush things off. It's uncommon for us to look mistakes we make in the eye and work in them and through them with radical and right thinking.

Since the mistakes will keep on coming, learn to live with them, and especially learn to master how you handle them. Most mistakes probably won't kill you, and it's not the end of the world either. So, don't be so tough on yourself. Be tougher with every "fix it" mechanism at your disposal whenever you can, and you can. ~ S.R.F.

WHO'S SORRY?

Ever wonder why apologizing is so difficult? It's because we want to be right. It's because we don't want to admit that we are wrong. It's because we want to have the final say whether we were right or wrong.

We allow damage to occur in relationships when we allow our stubbornness to prevent us from admitting that making an apology could remedy and heal a situation. I saw a video recently of a popular TV judge talking to prison inmates about the reason they were incarcerated. She mentioned "because somebody disrespected you, because somebody said something, and here you are serving time over some foolishness." 

I wondered to myself how short the argument or fight could have been if both parties agreed to agree, or agreed to disagree? While that may not be a formal type of "I'm sorry" or "I apologize," I feel pretty certain that stepping away from an encounter represents an unspoken act of "somebody is wrong here, and maybe it's me. Let's forget it. I'm sorry." Particularly in cases of actions speaking louder than words ever could, it's worth trying this because it works. It's called "emotional intelligence" and it's a game changer.

Would you rather let a rift create a permanent break, burning of a bridge, or closing a door? Depending on the reason, that answer might be yes. However, if it's valuable relationship, if there is way too much to lose, if the rift is not worth the negative results, and IF a simple and sincere apology fixes the whole "thing" or repairs the damage, it's probably a small price to pay.

You'll have to decide the value. Just remember that an apology is free, but the costs for the losses may be quite pricey, and may last a lifetime. ~ S.R.F.

LOVE YOURSELF: It's HEALTHY

Insecurity is a problem for many people. In our comparison culture, there are measurements we challenge ourselves with and they can make us feel unworthy, less than, small and invisible. If we buy into those false conceptions of success personally and professionally, we fall into self-derogation, self-sabotage, and self-destruction traps.

With all these "be this" and "do that" inaccurate perceptions about how to be liked by others, the concept of our own self-appreciation and self-love can get lost in our perspectives of ourselves. Self-love can change how we feel overall, and how we live, move and have our being, and in all of all of our doings in life.

Is self-love a component of self-confidence? Well, the more self-love you feel can definitely contribute to the sense of inner strength and resources within, and of who you are as a person. Self-love can give you bravery and courage. Self-love can create a sense of assuredness as we face life. Self-love is dynamic.

Insecurity will get lost in self-love. Self-love will tell you all the reasons that you should not, cannot, and will not feel insecure. That is how bold self-love can be. 

It's a misnomer that self-love is selfish. Selfishness is another category, and it doesn't touch self-love, unless it's being used in a way that aids and protects ourselves from a wrong or an abuse. You have to be selfish about protecting yourself against what the self-defeating ideas about yourself tell you, thoughts that work against you, and against you loving yourself. ~ S.R.F.

EXCERPT from "Let's Talk About Faith and Self-Love" by Silver Rae Fox, available on Amazon Kindle

THE PERFECT SOLUTION TO IMPERFECTION

I can remember the first time I heard someone say "don't strive for perfection, strive for excellence." That was one of the most powerful statements I'd ever heard about how to maneuver the imperfections in life.  

We want everything to be perfect, and we are typically unhappy, dissatisfied and disappointed when things are not. Every thing that does not show up as "perfect" does not mean it was a failure, a disaster or wrong by definition. These are actually mindsets that can be a danger to our thinking about outcomes and results that occur in our everyday life and circumstances.

Can we help ourselves by checking ourselves when it comes to this idea that every thing must be perfect, that every effort must manifest perfection, that life must be perfect, that WE must be perfect? Yes, we must check in within ourselves if we are going to have a healthy approach to the matters of life occurring now, and momently.

First, ask yourself if you are trying to appear perfect and make your life look perfect, so that other people think you are perfect? That's a hard act to keep up, friends. If this is you, you probably learned after your first or second "act" at being perfect that was going to take a lot of time and effort, and maybe money, too. I believe we can try to be our very best selves, but to be perfect in the sense that we, and our lives have no visible flaws or flubs, that's an absolute NO can do. All of us have flaws and flubs, stuff that we never want anyone to see or know about us, but a "perfect" cover-up is not the answer.

Well, secondly, the answer is to know that we are enough, and more than enough in many cases, just as we are. We are dynamic human beings, created for awesome things. We don't need to give appearances of perfection. What we need is to show up in life, having taken all our gifts and opportunities and polish them with excellence. That's how we shine!

A perfect score on a test is great. A perfect thing can happen. Perfect results do happen. However, remember this: Excellence shows. Excellence is achievable. Excellence in maintainable. Excellence is a great goal. Excellence is a great builder of our self-esteem. Excellence is not something that wearies all of your efforts like trying to look perfect does. Excellence has a look, too, and it's powerful. Think about that, and create for yourself a more excellent mindset to live by. ~ S.R.F.