Friday, December 6, 2019

NEW STUFF, OLD STUFF: WRAP IT UP

It's time for the great wrap up!
We're headed into two of  the biggest holidays of the year, Christmas and New Year's Day. For so many of us that means "wrapping" things up literally.

If we're gift givers, carefully adorning our special selections for others will consume a bit of our time, as we make sure those gifts are wrapped up in holiday paper and the holiday spirit. Little packages, big packages, and everything in between will more than likely boast of bright, sparkly, brilliantly colored wrapping. It's one of the most fun and festive aspects of the Christmas season for givers and receivers.

And, then, comes the New Year, rocking and rolling in only a week later, to present us with another kind of "wrapping." We find ourselves winding down a bit, however, at the same time perhaps thinking about all of the things we would like to, want to and need to wrap up by December 31st. Planners, resoluters, goal-setters and dreamers, usually find themselves in wrap-up-mode as the day closes in.

Are there things that you need to wrap up? Are there any loose ends that have been lingering way too long? Are there things that you know you need to tie a pretty ribbon on it and give it a farewell kiss goodbye?

Yes, it is that time, again. Wrap up the stuff that needs to be discarded, and discard it. Wrap up and tie up the loose ends and put those things proudly on the "I got that done" shelf. Be determined to happily approach wrapping up and tossing out anything that is not benefitting you, anything that's draining you, anything that's keeping you from being your best you. Everything that's restraining you.

It's a brand New Year. Wrap things up! You'll see, it's an opportunity to unwrap the most dynamic, most brilliant you ever! ~ S.R.F.

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Wednesday, November 6, 2019

You Have An "IT" Factor!

Believe Yourself. You've got "IT"!

The "IT" Factor


Do you have "it"? You know, that thing that people used to say when they could see something special about you: "you're all that, and a bag of chips!" Well, if no one has ever said that about you, no worries. Without the "all that" and without the bag of chips, you still have something pretty unique about you, and "It" came with you the day you were born.


Now that that's settled, what do you with your "It"? Of course, you use "It" to your advantage. 

Dress like "It"

Does that mean bust your bank account trying to prove to the world that you are "all that"? No, definitely not. "It" means showing up anywhere and everywhere with a sense of confidence in the apparel you choose. Let your "It" reflect your best. Let your "It" be about your unique style. Let your "It" be about the fact that you were intentional about how you wanted to look from head to toe. Let your "It" show.


Talk like "It"

You don't have to have a perfect command of every word that's ever been uttered, but your "It" should know how to greet people, have "small chat"conversations and be a great listener, even about things you may know nothing about. Your "It" becomes interesting when you are "interested" in the world and people around you and you can talk about those things. You don't have to sound like you're a genius, you just need to sound interested. Your "It" will be apparent when you know how to listen and communicate as well.

Walk like "It"

Walk tall. Walk like you know where you're headed. "It" will be obvious to others that you're someone with plans and goals. "It" will be obvious that you have people to see, places to go and things to do. Hold your head up. Your "It" should look like you are feeling good in the skin you're in. Your "It" should look like you know your worth. Your "It" should make you feel like a million bucks even if you don't actually have a million dollars in the bank. Your "It" should be in every step you take. And, if no one happens to mention that there's something really special about you, it's okay. You already know "It". Your "It" is beautifully exuding from every part of you. They may not say it, but they see "It".  ~ S.R.F.

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Saturday, October 12, 2019

What Are You Thinking About?

What are you thinking about? It really matters.

What Are You Thinking?

What's happening in your world of thought? Are you constantly going from one thing to another in your mind, yet not getting anything done? Are you often overwhelmed? Do you often have mental battles with yourself inside your head? How you ever thought about what it is you're thinking about, and asked yourself if it's possible to analyze, conquer and control how we think? In a great majority of cases, the answer is yes.


Pause and Breathe

Try to pause and quiet yourself down for a moment. Examine your own thinking. Are you thinking about tomorrow, next week, next year unnecessarily? It's common. While thinking and planning for tomorrow or next year is okay, obsessiveness or negative thoughts will keep you full of anxiety. The answer: Plan, yes; but stay in the moment. Stay in the "now". Now is a reality, stay there. It takes practice, but take on the moments as they come. You really cannot predict the future, you can only roll with the unfolding of it. When you do that, it's a much better ride, and you'll have better control of your life and thinking.


Take Command

Give your thoughts direction. Right now your thoughts may be directing you, however, in a negative way. Consider choosing what you think about. If you are self-abasing, criticizing everything and "nothing is ever right" it's time to start a new script. Put positive notes all around your house or apartment. Listen only to empowering music, TV and books. You will have to train your mind to go where you choose, and that should be in the direction of creating your best life from day to day.


Focus, Focus, Focus

Here's what I've learned: we can live in thoughts of feast or famine, and that applies to most everything. If we want great relationships, we have to cultivate them with healthy thoughts. If we want success, we have to cultivate the plans that will take us there. If we want to reach our goals, we have to cultivate each step of the way. It all depends on our focus. When we focus our thoughts on the things that are good, we create a beautiful feast, a more bountiful life. When we don't, we find ourselves lacking in many ways, a famine of sorts. We can get control. We can command our direction. We can conquer negativity. Start thinking about that. ~ S.R.F.

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Wednesday, September 11, 2019

IN THE FACE OF CHANGE

It's a tough thing when you look in the mirror at yourself and realize that if you want things in your life to be different, it's actually you that needs to change first. Often, we will lead lives filled with chaos, disorder and confusion not realizing that we are the culprit of it all. How do you know if it's you?

Here are a couple of things to consider that may help you figure it all out:

Are you your own worst enemy?

Sometimes we are really good at tearing ourselves apart, as well as our lives. We have little motivation. We are lazy. We think only "certain people" are destined for the good things in life. We don't want to work for what we want. Our perspective of accomplishment and achievement is skewed by looking at celebrities and those who are extremely wealthy and successful.

Okay, so maybe you have to get up off your butt and put a plan together to get to a happy, healthy place of living by understanding that no one is holding you back but you. What's your desire? What's your dream? What's your gift? What's your talent? What's your passion? Search yourself and see where you land. Look yourself in the face. You can change things. You must make a decision that you will.

Are you guilty of self-sabotage?

There are other circumstances when opportunities are staring us in the face, being handed to us, and we literally destroy those opportunities single-handedly. The theory of self-sabotage simply means we tear down positive, purposeful things that may have helped us or benefited us in one way or many.

How do we stop such self-defeating behavior? Look yourself in the face. Ask "I am the problem?"
It's so easy to blame someone or something else when things fall apart or end, rather that doing a self-check on who is really responsible, especially if we have to point the finger at ourselves. But, if it's you and you know it's you, own up to it. All of us manage to create some of our own crises at some time or another, intentionally and otherwise. Either way, a surefire way to deal with it is to face it, and do whatever is necessary to do what is wiser, and whatever will take us in the direction of correction.

In the face of change...

Indeed, it will take a deliberate, very intentional effort to face the fact that you may be guilty of being your own worst enemy or of self-sabotage, as well as determining how to bulldoze toward a much needed change in how you think. It will largely take complete honesty with yourself. Where you have been blaming others, you will have to stop. Where you have made everybody else accountable and responsible for your forward movement in life, you will have to stop. Where you have been demolishing opportunities, closing doors and running away from the positive things offered to you because they scare you, you will have to stop.

Admittedly, these changes may not happen overnight. One thing I can assure of though is this: The moment you decide to look yourself in the face and know that it's all on you to change, a change is gonna come. The weight of the responsibility shifts to you, but all the wonderful things that will shift in your favor do, too. That is something to look forward to! ~ S.R.F.

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Friday, August 9, 2019

Hard To Say "I'm Sorry"? It Shouldn't Be

"What comes from the heart reaches the heart."
A couple of weeks ago I was standing in line at the store. There were several others ahead of me. I overheard the woman who was checking out asking about the limited number of clerks. We were in a long line and getting everyone through to checkout was taking a while. It seemed that most of us felt some degree of frustration about it, mostly because waiting is often caused by under-staffing.

One lane open, really?

I noticed that the clerk at the counter to my right left her post, picked up an item and got behind me in line. My first thought was that she had picked an untimely moment to decide to buy something instead of trying to accommodate the backup of customers. It was challenging for me not to ask so, I did: "What's the reason you're not helping?" She said "I am on my break." I said, in what I thought was a sort of humorous way "Not a good time for a break. Maybe clock back in?" She said "No." My eyebrows raised in surprise because I'm thinking more about work ethics than anything. Taking your break when the line is cleared is a smarter decision, but that's how I think. Wait to take your break, and wait on the people in line, maybe? This was a seasoned clerk who I felt should know this and know better.

Here's what happened next. The clerk at the counter where I was waiting decides to chime in. I am at least three customers down the line, but she made the decision that I needed to be "put in place" about my comments to her co-worker. She told me that once they clock-out for break that their system won't allow them to clock back in until the full fifteen minutes has expired. I said, as politely as I could "I didn't know that." She said "Well, now you do." She was really agitated about me saying something and she let me know it not only with the sound of her voice, but with her eyes. They were angry, with that "say something else" look in them. I didn't. I finally got to the front and she checked me out and I left. Yeah, WOW.

It stayed on my mind a little while afterwards because I didn't think that anything I had said seemed confrontational. Besides, I would never deliberately start a fight, it's just not my nature to do so. Well, yesterday I stopped at the same store again and as soon as I came in the door I heard a voice say "I need to apologize to you." I was moving quickly and it didn't even dawn on me that someone was talking to me directly. I picked the items I had come in for and got in line.

I was the only one at the counter this time and the clerk said to me, "I need to apologize to you." I looked confused for a few seconds, because I honestly didn't recognize her from my last visit. Then, my mind went back to the voice I had heard when I came through the door, but I was still not sure what she meant. So, I'm looking at her and I knew she could see that I didn't have any idea what she was talking about, then she said "I need to apologize for the way I talked to you the last time you were here. I'm sorry." It clicked! This is the clerk that delivered me all that attitude when I was last here! OMG! She's sorry?!

Well, yes, interestingly, she really was. It was written all over her face, and this time there was a distinctly different tone to her voice, so much so that it touched my heart and caused me to almost tear up. I looked at her expression for a few seconds, truly admiring how big of a person it takes to say those words. I went around the counter and gave her a big hug, and I let her know it was no big deal. I left.

I plan to stop back in and give her one of my books as a gift. I want her to have it. She doesn't know me, and obviously I don't know her, but here's what is for certain: we will always remember each other, and thank God that it will be in a good way. ~ S.R.F.

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Monday, July 1, 2019

THE FIRST STEP

You have to start somewhere. You may have been contemplating an important move, but you also may have been hesitating, or just plain old procrastinating. Of course, there could be many reasons if that is the case, but one thing is for sure: with most anything, a first step must be taken.
Why not take that first step today?

Here are a few tips that may help you get going:
1. If you are afraid and you recognize that fear is what is hindering you, find a meet-up group that gets together to network and celebrates what you are thinking of doing. You'll hear insights, wisdom, personal stories and get plenty of motivation. Importantly, you will realize that there is no real reason to fear. They did it, and so can you.


2. If your big question is HOW, be assured that everything you need to get you going in the right direction is at your fingertips. Unless your idea is truly original, you will find lots of info on the internet. Research it. Read about it. Get in the know. Ask where you can find resources for it. Participate in online groups and ask questions. Again, the important thing here is that you should get all of your curiosity and questions answered, and then make your next move. You will know what that is after talking with people, and after all of your online investigating.

3. Remember that this doesn't mean you are necessarily ready to launch out. That will depend on how complex your project is. Setting up a table to sell stuff is one thing. Setting up a business to sell worldwide is another. Plan accordingly, with much emphasis on the word "plan" either way.

That being said, getting going will be exciting. Why wait? Make a move. Why not take that first step today? ~ S.R.F. 

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Friday, June 7, 2019

WHAT'S NEW?

Get out of your own way. Get going!
We are often so afraid of change. Even when we know it's absolutely the thing for us, we hesitate and procrastinate about making something happen. When and if we overcome that fear, we can find ourselves in new and exciting territory. New opportunities surface. New people enter into our lives. New pathways open up. It can feel like a whole new way of life has begun.

Ask yourself, "when was the last time I tried to move past my fear to give my future an opportunity to look different?  Did you know that even some of the smallest changes can make a huge difference? It's great if you can do that "big thing" you've been wanting to do, but even a minor shift or change can make for a new and rewarding difference and direction. The main thing to consider is, pushing your fear aside.

You have dreams. You have aspirations. You have hopes. You want something new and different, don't you? Get out of your own way. It won't be as hard as you think. The hardest part is believing in yourself and your competence to get there. Get going. You'll see that "there" is a lot closer than you even imagined, that place where all things are new. ~ S.R.F.

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Thursday, May 2, 2019

DON'T GET OVERWHELMED. GET DETERMINED.

"A stitch in time saves nine."
Ever heard someone say "a stitch in time saves nine"? It's an age-old phrase with a powerful message, and this is it: When something happens that needs immediate attention, time, effort or fixing, don't put it off until later or you'll risk having an even bigger problem or situation to deal with. In other words, stitch things up now or you may have a lot more torn places to stitch up later.

We've all experienced what can happen when we neglect a problem or procrastinate getting to a resolve. We find ourselves sweating, fretting and regretting that we didn't handle things sooner and more efficiently. The "stitch in time" theory may not work in every case, but to use it as a standard work and life ethic is surely a good thing.

Think for a moment about something you didn't address in a timely fashion, something that you know you really should have taken care of when you first faced it. I've been there, and sometimes even hoping that maybe it would just go away. It didn't. 

Those lessons taught me that I should be ready to take the bull by the horn when things arise that need immediate attention. They taught me to be in "attack" mode when I needed to respond quickly and aggressively, before things got really out of hand. Those lessons taught me that if I stay on top of the things that require time and effort, I won't find myself under the stress and pressure of them later. Honestly, I hated learning all of it the hard way, but experience is truly an extraordinary teacher. I'm better for it. You will be, too. 

It's a given, things are going to happen. Our response to those things is everything. In short, here's the deal:

1. Get on top of it before it gets on top of you.

2. It's not likely to disappear on its own. Make it disappear.

3. Don't allow "later" to be an option. "Do it now" is not a new concept. Handle it now if at all possible.

If while reading this article several things came to mind, don't get overwhelmed. Get determined. Tackle those issues. Save yourself from the frustration that could snowball later. Whatever is in your power to do, do it. ~ S.R.F.

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Saturday, April 6, 2019

THE NATURAL ORDER

Remember, sometimes all it takes is a plan.

Hurry Up?

We live in an environment that is constantly compelling us to have things our way. And, not just that. Everything we want and need better hurry up and happen, and not later, right away. Trouble is, that is just not the way everything in life works. In many cases, and I'd say in most, we have become a society that is sorely lacking in what it really takes to do life and business. We want to hop, skip and jump past the places that get us where we want to go without going through the logical and sensible channels. It sounds crazy. That's because it is.


There are no "Right Now!" buttons.

We learn this quickly: There are no buttons to press that give us immediate access to all we demand. There are no hotlines to quick and easy solutions for many of our issues. We can't command things to be a certain way and expect that things will happen just because we say so. There are processes. There are procedures. There are strategies. There is also a "natural order" that is operating in many circumstances that regardless of how much we insist, scream and holler, command and demand, we cannot override them with a snap of our fingers, or any other way for that matter.


Intelligence vs. Instantaneous

Natural order means that there is an "order" to how something happens. For instance, tomorrow can't come before today. You can't be 25 before you're 24, and so on. You can't drive forward and backwards at the same time. You can't literally be in two places at once. These are just a few examples of things that can confuse us when we need and want something. We think we can "think" a thing to be so, just because we think so. Yeah, you read that right. The thinking part is right, we need to think. However, to believe that just because we think it, it can happen without logic, time and effort, is a fantastic error on our part. We falter and fail because of it.

If you're told that your package will arrive tomorrow, but you needed it today, you are not going to have it until tomorrow. If you expect an inheritance at age 25, but you're only 24 and want it, it's likely you will have to wait until you reach the age that it's due to you. Ever tried to drive backwards and forward at the same time? It can't happen, because you can only do one or the other. And, if you happen to try to be in two places at the same time, well...you already know you can't. You will have to figure out how to be in one place and then the other somehow. 

By now you may be saying "I'm not stupid, I know that." Okay, then I'm talking to somebody else and not you. There are a lot of people out here thinking stupid stuff. I'm talking to them. Many of us are truly guilty of thinking stupid, and doing stupid. Yep, me too. Been there, done that. Unfortunately, got some receipts for those silly experiences, too. We live and we learn, right? 


There is no magic.

What's the point? We stress ourselves immensely by putting unrealistic expectations on ourselves all the time, as if we really do possess some kind of Houdini skills and can magically make things happen. We rack our brains. We exert unnecessary emotional and physical energies. We even make ourselves sick trying to outdo what can't be over-ridden. 

What we will find out is that when we count on logic and intelligence to guide us, we will consider more often than not the natural order of things and how that will help us get what we want and need more often. Even though it may not happen so quickly, we'll certainly experience much less stress and craziness along the way. At least, we should. ~ S.R.F.

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Wednesday, March 6, 2019

MOVING ON: 5 Steps to Take to March Forward

Shake-ups are hard, but you're gonna be alright.
Have you ever said to yourself "I've got to move on"? We find ourselves in places in life when it's necessary to pick up the pieces of ourselves or our lives and keep it moving. It's not always easy to do so, but we can:

1. Shake ups are hard and unsettling. When the rug gets pulled from under us, it's shocking. At some point though, we have to face our tough realities and stand up to them. Shake yourself and wake up to what you need to do to get yourself heading to a healthy place mentally, emotionally and positionally. If you can, shake it off and keep going while you're still in the healing process. Things eventually get better.

2. Avoid concentrating on what happened. There is no moving on if you're looking at what is in the rear view mirror. Get a vision of a better place in life and give your all to getting there.

3. Let your trusted friends and family know you're in drive forward mode. Ask them to send you inspiring and motivating quotes, memes, books, etc., and to offer empowering support. Ask them to do positive things with you. Avoid getting caught up in pity-party conversations. Have a real party and celebrate the bright things ahead.

4. When you start to feel down or lonely, have some great music or messages ready that will uplift your spirit. Don't allow yourself to go into that place or down that street. Of course you can make a U-turn if you do, but why waste the time? You're going somewhere and that's the wrong direction to take.

5. Have a "MOVE ON" Plan even if it's an evolving one. Schedule your days, weeks and the months ahead. Map out your progress and make adjustments whenever you need to. If you wake everyday without direction, you'll be going nowhere fast. However, you'll find yourself moving forward fast if you consistently point yourself in the right direction. Keep putting one foot in front of the other until you're in your better place.

Moving on from challenges can be difficult, but you can. It takes time. Have faith in yourself and all the possibilities the future holds for you. Step by step, you'll get closer to them. Trust yourself. March forward. I hope you'll enjoy the journey. ~ S.R.F.

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

That's The Power of Self Love!

Love yourself. There is power in self love.
I can remember many, many years ago when I first heard about the concept of self love. I was in a 20-week personal development program with an instructor whose words of wisdom always landed on me with delight. Among all of the wonderful gems of personal purpose she infused in us, one day she told her bunch eager students to "be your own best friend." I fell in love with the thought of that and pondered it many a day and night. I knew exactly what it meant to be a really good friend to others, so the thought of being that loving, kind and loyal to myself was intriguing.

From that day to this one, I've paid attention to the care I give myself and the nurturing required to feel self-fulfilled. I've learned that there is much strength in self love. I've learned that there is much satisfaction in self love. I've learned that there are powerful internal resources in self love. The more I love myself, the more courageous and fierce I become. 

I'm talking about a critical work within. I'm talking about when we go to the real heart of things within ourselves and love ourselves there, through distress, growth, pain, challenge, change or whatever happens. It's when we are paying so much attention to our personal well-being in all areas of life and making that a primary effort and a priority. It's necessary in order to be our best selves. 

As Valentine's Day rolls around, think about how you can honor yourself with love. Think of ways to make yourself feel the way you would if someone else did everything they knew to do to let you know they loved you. Be that person to yourself. Love you. Self love will change you. Self love will empower you. Self love will enable you. Self love will strengthen you. Self love will erase your fears. Self love will increase your faith. Self love will give you a kind of confidence you could not have imagined. You'll become a force within yourself. That's the power of self love! ~ S.R.F.

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

WHAT'S IN YOUR FUTURE?

Wanna know what's in your future? Start creating it.
Life is often a creation process. It's constantly moving forward. It's constantly evolving. It's consistently changing. With all that being the case, we want to know what is ahead. We want to know what's in our future. We can't be certain about everything, but we can operate with a degree of confidence about other things. We can help create the things we want to be and the things we want to see happen.

When we visualize a dream or a goal, it's the first step toward manifesting it for the future. Visualizing is not a game we play with ourselves. It's a real preview to the things we can accomplish. It won't happen without a plan, a "creation process" that is laid out and worked on step by step. If you don't see it this way, and if you don't plan your work and work your plan, all you're really doing is fantasizing. That can be fun, but it won't make anything real happen. It's just a series of visions that make you happy when you think about them, desires that never turn into reality.

Here are some things to think about:

1. Write down what you are visualizing as picturesque as you possibly can explain it on paper. Be thorough. If it's an idea, or a journey or a series of visions, write it all down. When you do this, you will begin to see things in a new perspective, an achievable perspective, and that's going to be your big step toward believing you can accomplish it.

2. Ask yourself who, what, why, where, when and how you can make it happen. Answer those questions even if it takes days, weeks or months. When you have come up with clear answers, start a process of following through on them. Don't be afraid to ask other people who, what, why, where, when and how they can help, but only after you have some clear-cut answers for yourself.

3. Create your own miracles. You must realize that creating your dream or achieving your goals will be in your hands. Miracles do happen everyday, but God gave you the ability to create your own miracles with the gifts and talents you've been given, so do your work. You can make incredible things happen when you believe you can and when you have the faith to see it through.

What's in your future? Something amazing. Is it time to stop fantasizing and start creating the best life you've ever had? Of course! The answer is, yes! ~ S.R.F.