Thursday, April 30, 2009

VIDEO INTRO: Put Your Stress To Rest

FOXOLOGY: Put Stress To Rest, Not To The Test

Stress can be an alert, and indication that something physically, mentally or emotionally needs quick and positive attention. While we cannot have control over every circumstance, nor can we control the actions of others, we will best help ourselves when we learn to monitor and manage our stress reactors.
Here are a few ideas that may help:

1. Examine your emotions. If your stress produces anger, perhaps, it's inner conflict that needs resolving first. Ask yourself, "what is the real issue or problem here?" If anger is your common response to stressful situations, the real issue may be you, not the other person or the perceived problem.

2.Consider being more self-analytical. Try to rationalize, and ask yourself "what reaction would be a more appropriate response?" Think it through, then act.

3. Make an effort to remain calm. Instruct yourself to relax. You really do have the ability to take command of your attitude and behavior.

4. Try to communicate with tact. Choose words that support a positive outcome, not words that hurt and attack. Harsh language will only escalate the stress, magnify the situational difficulty, and possibly create additional problems to deal with. If you can't choose your words carefully, exit. Address the issues later when you are more in control.

5. Make a genuine effort to modify your thinking and behavior. If you are a person who always takes a catastrophic view of consequences, this will produce tremenendous anxiety and stress for you. You'll need to stop and think, fully and carefully explore answers in order to make a realistic appraisal of your affairs. It really isn't the end of the world yet.

6. Recognize that there are remedies. There are tried-and-true measures and alternatives, even if they don't seem apparent, that will aid in resolving the stress. This doesn't always resolve the problem itself, but it does relieve the negative impact produced by wrong perspectives.

7. Identify elements that you have no control over. Stop stressing over them. If you do have control, such a changing jobs or where you live, then do it.

8. Be motivated to manage and monitor your stess and stressors. Consistently challenge your current responses, attitude and behaviors, and before you know it, you'll put many of the problems and issues that test your stress to rest. By choosing stress remedies that work, anger, impatience and fear minimize and soon disappear.

When we make a genuine effort to change ourselves, we are making a genuine effort to improve the lives of those with whom we live and work. Stressing less should be at the top of list.


Your Self Esteem

Don't Let Your Confidence Be Shaken!

Are you striving to be your own person? Do you believe that you would feel better about yourself "if only" you had more money and material possessions, a different job, a better place to live, a new car, etc., etc., etc.?

That's all good, however, the problem with that kind of confidence is that life can take some sudden and sharp turns that will cause you to examine the truth about how confident you really are. Take it all away, and in all too many cases, the confidence goes with it.

It is then that you find yourself shaking with the shaky changes, lacking stability, and facing the realization that you weren't holding your own after all. Tangibles can come, and they can go. We can end up in real trouble when we have placed too much confidence in them. It all boils down to your own individual thinking about yourself, as well as what you think about "things."

What, then, does it mean to be your own person, to have the "right" kind of confidence in yourself? Confidence comes with commitment to yourself, commitment to your personal growth and goals, and broadening your horizons.

When you have a firm commitment within yourself to yourself, it's less disturbing when changes in circumstances seem to test your strength and confidence. It's not nearly so unsettling when you trip over your own two feet.

It won't be so shocking when you discover that real confidence is not based in the best financial or professional positioning, but, instead, in being fully committed to getting up, stepping up, and standing up even in the worst of times.

You'll know that you've arrived when you've learned to meet changes and challenges face to face. You'll know that you're your own person when you're able to handle whatever comes your way with commitment to winning the battle. Confidence increases with every personal victory.

I love things, too. Things are wonderful. They are terrific reminders that we have worked hard to acquire them. Just keep in mind that real confidence is the "thing" in life that holds us up, and helps us to hold it down when things are shaky. Wouldn't you agree that in itself is what's really worth striving for?


IN YOUR BUSINESS Solving Your Workplace Worries

Zip it!

What can be done about co-workers who are constantly talking too much and too loud, disturbing other employees who are trying to get work done?

R., Communications Specialist

Dear R.:

That situation can be a sticky one, for sure. You don't want to jeopardize your relationships and camaraderie with those you work with by telling them their constant talking is hindering your ability to concentrate on your tasks. However, you can't allow their lack of concern for others, to jeopardize your performance either.

If it's really serious, I'd give a heads-up to the manager. If it isn't easy to go unrecognized in the matter, create an anonymous note. He or she can address the problem in a short meeting, an email, or during an employee performance evaluation. Employees tend to view feedback and discipline more seriously if it's documented in their evaluations. Believe me, that will zip it in the bud!



"Gettin' Wiggy With It!"

Yeah...that's me, gettin' wiggy with it! Wigs are like any other accessory, a lovely addition to the shoes, jewelry and clothing investments we make that create the way we want to look. A wig can definitely add chic to your style. It's the fastest way to fix a bad hair day.Or if you just want to change up your look, it pays to invest in one or two, or three!

I own several ranging from short, sassy and silvery, to thick and curly raven-red! One thing is for sure, it's the no-muss, no fuss, one-minute answer to getting out the door with time to spare!

Before you rush out to get a little "wiggy," here are a few things to remember when choosing your new coif:

1. Try on many! You'll want to find something that compliments your face shape, and that looks really natural. It may get frustrating, but try until you get the RIGHT look.

2. Your wig should fit snug, and meet your natural hairline. Some wigs tend to sit too high or too far back from your forehead. Remember, it is supposed to look like it's your own hair-do.

3. You don't need to spend a lot. Many great looking wigs, natural hair or synthetic, are very inexpensive.

4. Care for you wig like your own hair. Wash it, condition it, clip it. You can even have a professional do it for you.

5. Men: the same applies to you. Keep it natural looking. And, keep in mind that your hair loss and receding hairlines are not as big of a deal to women as you may think. (It really isn't your hair that's most important to us. Bald is really O.K., popular and sexy).

Enjoy the search! Whether you're trying to remedy a bad hair day, or just excited to show-off a new look every now and then, wigs are really a fast, fun and fashionable way to add that extra pizazz!


Wednesday, April 1, 2009


I Was Blind, But Now I See
You've heard the old saying that "hindsight is twenty-twenty." Most of us would have to admit that as we look back over past blunders, bad choices we've made and wrong turns we took, we can see very clearly, now, what we did not then. We see with crystal clarity what we could have done or should have done: "if only" I had done "this or that" it would have prevented "the other". We see that "something" often regretfully, disappointed that it resulted in the unwanted way that it did. Ever wonder why we seemed completely blind to it then, and the consequences?

Is it because we really did not focus and did not see what we needed to see at the time? What was the reason that we didn't know the right way of looking at things in the first place? Is it because we take such blind leaps of faith, and our mental and emotional eyes don't focus until we've failed?

Why do we take blind steps without figuring out that we better check to see where or what we are headed into? Do you think that if we would try to develop keener insights, better observations of situations, and be more "microscopic" about our affairs, that maybe we could be less likely to make so many mistakes? Maybe we would not have so many regrets?

The Answers Aren't So Easy
As impatient as we are about most things, it's no wonder that we don't always think things over and over as well as we should. We often want what we want, and we want it NOW! Instant gratification: we feel that the sooner we get whatever it is, the better.

How many of us find out that sooner isn't always better, that "now" often makes us pay later? Sometimes it even looks like if a desirable thing is right in front of us, then it must be O.K. to have it. Hindsight tell us that this is not necessarily so.

We have gone into relationships, ventures, friendships, partnerships, and other risky matters with optimum optimism only to find out later that we made a bad move. Too late to turn back the wheels and get your money back, to get your love back, to recoup your pride, re-gain your self-esteem. After the dusting off, we take an "educated" look back and say, "if onIy I had known then what I know now."

Look Back, But Don't Look Long
Certainly our past mistakes can teach us so much. We should reflect, re-visit and use what we learned to rebuild the future. We should look, yes, but dwell on those mistakes? NO! So, look, YES! Look long, NO! Look at those mistakes only long enough to analyze what went wrong, and when you figure it out, lock it in so that you don't do it again.

We can avoid some of the trial and trauma that we bring upon ourselves. We can stop tripping and falling over bad decisions. We can stop creating regret. Of course there is always a measure of uncertainty, outcomes that we can't anticipate, and interesting twists and turns that appear along our paths. However, there is a simple strategy that can help us with the many decisions and choices that we have to make. We can take easier paths and avoid the nasty falls. How?

FOXOLOGY says: First, check your vision. Use foresight. Analyze. Stop and think. Then think twice. Then think again. Then think again, and think again. Hindsight may be twenty-twenty, however, by practicing "seeing" ahead, maybe you won't have you worry so much about looking back.