Monday, December 28, 2009


Can you say "RED CARPET"? I saw "Precious" recently and considered it a dynamic work in movie-making. Unfortunately, it was a disturbing insight into some very horrifying realities in life and society's subcultures. I've heard many say these portrayals and situations are more harmful than helpful to African-American images and issues. I left the theater feeling so proud of the writers, producers, actors, etc., but I, too, was deeply grieved by the images and issues, and not because African-Americans were portrayed in such a poor way; I was fighting tears knowing that the problems are real, and even worse. I'm just sayin'...the truth hurts.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


All I Want For Christmas Is Everything!

Dear Santa:

I remember when I was five years old and the mean 'ol, mean 'ol little girls next door told me that you weren't real. They laughed. I cried. The laugh was on them, however. When I got my beautiful doll on Christmas Day, that settled it. I knew you were the real deal. My parents even said so.

Santa, a little part of that little girl has never grown up. She still believes in miracles, fantasies and "happily ever after." She still daydreams and wishes, and smiles about her lofty visions and imaginings. No, I wasn't about to let two little mean girls stop me from believing in a wonderful world where wonderful things can happen out of nowhere by just believing. After all, you gave me some of my best fun, ever.

With all that being said, I have this year's list all ready for you. I thank you for all of the toys and games, but I am all grown up now, and this list...well, it's what big girls want for Christmas. So here goes:

Twelve pairs of designer boots, size 9.
Mix 'em up: booties, knee-high and above the knee.

Eleven pairs of designer shoes (Gucci, Louboutin, etc.) No flats, please.

Ten-day cruise vacation. I really NEED this.

Nine sets of matching Tiffany Jewelry.

Eight Deluxe Spa visits.

Seven Best-selling motivational books.
I wouldn't want you to think I'm so shallow that I don't think I need to be smart.

Six Chanel suits, size 8. No, 6. I can lose 5lbs.

Five Golden Rings. This is good. A couple carats each, at least, O.K.?

Four Tickets to the Superbowl.

-piece Louis Vuitton Luggage set.

huge diamond stud earrings.

One 500 Series Mercedes Benz

I wanted to give you enough time, so I'm sending you this letter three weeks in advance. I want to let you know that I haven't been pouting or naughty. I've been really nice, so when you're checking my list and checking it twice, we shouldn't have any problems with that.

One more thing: the last time I saw you, you were kinda old, and a little fat. Any chance that you can show up this year younger, taller, dark and handsome? I'm just sayin'...I'm not a little girl anymore.

Thanks, Santa. See you soon!

Silver Rae


Need a Great Gift Idea? Give Someone a Reason to Smile!

We're in a season of emotional highs and lows. The economy has taken a toll on many lives and families, and so many are fighting to have the faith to enjoy a "Merry" Christmas or a "Happy" New Year. These are difficult times for millions of people. 'Tis the season, yet the days ahead are filled with discouragement and uncertainty.

Not everyone is feeling thankful, joyful or full of anticipation about Christmas or the onset of 2010. Not everyone feels a reason to rejoice, or throngs of excitement, nor the spirit of joviality. Some people are feeling overwhelmed with depression right now for lack of a job, money, food and other basic necessities. Some are experiencing sadness and grief because they are all alone. Others are anxious over our materialistic view and adaptations of the holidays.

The anxiety and grief will literally overtake some. Suicidal thoughts will embrace the minds of some others. Brokenheartedness will be unbearable to many. Yes, in the midst of our jingling bells and dashing through the snow, the holidays will be very difficult in many homes.

For those of us who have hearts and minds prepared to enjoy the holiday season, those who are very fortunate to be experiencing the "fullness" of this time, please pause for a moment to remember those who will face these days with emptiness and hardship. They will have no friends or family to share the days with. They won't have any money. They won't have gifts. No Santa.They won't have hope. They may not be unknown faces. They may be neighbors, relatives or friends.

Could you make time to give them a call or stop by to visit? Can you spare and share a few dollars? Give special words of encouragement to the ones who feel they have nothing to look forward to? Perhaps, you could include someone or a family in some of your plans? People with empty shelves, empty tables, no tree, no presents and empty arms, could you give some food, a gift, a hug, some love?

I imagine that most of us are feeling the elation about the holidays ahead. Christmas and New Year's Day bring with it so much happiness and optimism. With Thanksgiving having just passed, we're still experiencing the mood of celebration, feeling joyous accord with the days ahead. Our attitudes are spirited, we're feeling confident and capable of letting go of the old, excited about the opportunities before us. Because we may not be the one who is in crisis, this is, indeed, just one more reason to celebrate. However, I know that by reaching out to touch just one individual's life, you will be making an important and valuable difference through your blessedness. You could make someone's holiday very special and the most memorable one ever, for both of you.


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Jimmy Moore Shares His Courageous Weight Loss Story on FOXOLOGY

Today's FOXOLOGY, "WEIGHT A MINUTE!" features Jimmy Moore, author of "21 Life Lessons From Livin' La Vida Low-Carb: How The Healthy Low-Carb Lifestyle Changed Everything I Thought I Knew" (BookSurge 2009). It's his brand new release and it's available on now! He won an amazing battle against obesity by losing a whopping 180 lbs! He shares his intimate story of self-discovery, courage and victory with me, and you'll be inspired! Tune in today at 1 PM CST on to hear how Jimmy took control of his weight and his life!

Click on image to order your copy of his new book NOW!

Monday, November 2, 2009

IN YOUR BUSINESS Solving Workplace Worries

Sometimes It Feels Like Nobody's Watching Me

Earlier this year, to cut overhead in my department, my company terminated our on-site manager. Our group, consisting of twenty employees, is now supervised by three team leads. Everything seems to be going well for the most part as far as day-to-day functions, except that our previous on-site manager was responsible for our employee evaluations, which directly affect regular wage increases and yearly bonuses for all of us. I am concerned about how this process will be handled now, how to approach my company about this, since the team leads don't have the authority to do evaluations, and no one is here to do them?

Georgia B., Data Entry
Chicago, IL

Dear Georgia:

That is an interesting situation, but not nearly as complex as it may appear. It sounds like you just want to be sure you get the raise and bonus that you feel you deserve.

First of all, just ask. Contact your human resources department, or the next level of supervision, and ask professionally and politely, "Hey, you know I have been wondering since 'so-and-so' is no longer with us, how will the evaluations and bonuses be handled?" It's a simple and reasonable question to pose to them, and it's likely someone has been thinking about how it is going to be handled. However, if for some reason they have failed to, which is possible, then it's good that you stepped in with your question to give them a heads-up.

My other thought is, although there is no manager on site, that in no way means that your work ethics and efforts are going "unnoticed" by others in the company. You may not realize it, but somebody's keeping an "eye" on you guys, watching and evaluating, although from afar. If you keep doing your job well, you can make sure you are recognized for it. Without question YOUR work will speak so loudly that they have to see it and commend you. You will get what you deserve.
Hopefully, that bonus!




I'll make this short and sweet. I knew it was a smart thing to back up off of Brett Favre. As indecisive as he may have appeared, he sure doesn't seem to have that problem on the football field. I'm just sayin'...he is kickin' some...pigskin.


WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? Sarah Palin's daughter's baby-daddy is suddenly in the celebrity spotlight?! I'm just sayin'...maybe it's just me, but are we really that hungry to see him in Playgirl, and if so, WHY? I can think of a few other true celebrity types I wouldn't mind getting a warm flush over, but most of them would probably never consider it.

loved Michelle Obama's Halloween outfit! I'm just sayin'...I guess you have to be a girl to understand that she was "represent'in" the feline in the best of us. Anyway, it was such a cute choice...especially when you're married to the "lion king." I'm just sayin'...that's what I call PURRRRR-FECT!



Where's My Key?

Are you trying to discover the key to well-being and happiness, wondering where to look, where is it hiding, and how do you get to it?

It is interesting when we take a long look at ourselves and analyze what we consider our faults and shortcomings. We will very often want to shift the blame to others if we are not feeling happy and satisfied. We can feel trapped in draining responsibilities, in poor relationships, in physical, mental and emotional demands. Depending on who you are, the list may vary or go on and on.

It can take a great effort on our part to take realistic stock of where we are, how we got there and what to do about it. No one may be to blame for the circumstances. Life happens, and here we are. Nonetheless, it is our responsibility to reconstruct our thinking and situations if we are not happy. If it's only one or two things, such as a career not working out for you, or an overload of activity, it's reasonably simple to begin looking at new career choices that could bring you greater personal satisfaction and success.

In other cases, however, when you may be overall displeased with the way things are, and possibly yourself, your processing of the status quo may involve lengthy contemplation, insight, careful planning and maneuvering. You may have to struggle through years of issues, problems and fears that have kept you where you are. Here are some considerations that may help:

1. Consider a complete change in lifestyle. That may mean something as wonderful as moving to another city, or something as challenging as eliminating all of the negative people and influences in your life PERMANENTLY.

2. Decide to think differently. Make a determined effort to see the glass half full, the silver lining, the brighter side of things.

3. Get some advice from people who are high on life. Ask them questions, watch them, follow their lead. They will encourage you, too.

4. Take the high road. Getting where you want to go isn't through back alleys and side streets. It's a waste of time trying to shortcut the process.

5. Make good decisions. Think things through. Deliberate. Question. Think futuristically. Think results.

6. Remember your purpose. Your intention is to thrive, not just survive. You'll serve yourself well to THINK BIG and believe it.

There are many keys to happiness and well-being, not just one. There are many doors that can open up and offer us so many satisfying possibilities. As far as your mind can stretch, the plethora of things that can bring you joy abound. You can cut and carve your key according to your best imaginings. What's that I hear? Opportunity, success and happiness knocking? Can YOU hear it? O.K., unlock the door!


Sunday, November 1, 2009


Breaking Up and Breaking?

Depending on the circumstances, breaking up can be so very devastating. It can leave you hurt, lonely, confused. You had imagined there was certainly a future in the relationship. You had thought for sure that he or she was THE ONE, the one and only one. Now you have discovered that you were wrong, and you find your self-esteem is shattered in a million pieces, along with the difficult task of finding ways to put those pieces of your life and heart back together again.

If you played the leading role in the break-up, chances are you still feel pretty "together." Hurt, maybe, but you realize that break-ups do happen, and sometimes MUST happen, and so for you, life goes on. However, if you are the one who got dumped, you may be feeling rejected, disrespected, disregarded, degraded and depressed. In other words, all the wonderful things you felt about yourself when you knew that you were wanted and needed have been broken apart, too.

Listen, fret for a while if you must, but you will do yourself a major injustice if you allow wallowing in self-pity and sorrow for too long. Your pride in yourself does not rest in the fact that you thought someone else "esteemed" you. Your pride should be built upon the strengths and abilities you possess, and how much and how well you are able to esteem YOURSELF.

If he or she was your only reason for living, your only reason for feeling good about yourself and your only reason for feeling good about life, then you have a self-esteem building project on your hands. You will have to begin all over again, from the bottom up, laying a brand new foundation for yourself; a foundation built on pride, dignity, self-respect, and all the wonderful abilities that are unique to you. Look within for the "tools and bricks," not on the "outside." AFFIRM, AFFIRM, AFFIRM that you are an absolutely wonderful, awesome creation who is worthy of being loved, and I might add, by YOURSELF first!

For most people, rushing to try to replace a lost love with someone else to fill the void is the wrong quick fix. We do it because we think that will prove that we are desirable and worthy again. Stop right there. Wrong foundation. You CAN stand on your OWN foundation. You CAN develop confidence in YOURSELF again. Then, when you are ready and able to love again, you can do that in your new found strengths and not out of weakness or inabilities to feel good about yourself on your own. The best relationships are those that are built on mutual love, mutual admiration and mutual respect. To get it, you gotta bring it.

So, if you are currently the sufferer of a breakup, remember that you are not Humpty-Dumpty. Right now it might be a little bit difficult to see how everything will fit, but you can and will put all the pieces back together again.


Sunday, October 11, 2009

Earn Money Like a Superstar!

Would you like to have plenty of EXTRA money all the time? Would you like to pay off your bills and live debt free? Would you like to buy that new car and that new home that you've been dreaming of? Would you like the opportunity to generate the income that can make these dreams a reality?
You can be a part of a fast-growing network marketing endeavor that offers top-notch health and wellness products and an incredible money-making opportunity for you! Ready to get started? Please email me at for additional info!

Monday, October 5, 2009


A Plight To The Finish: The School of Hard Knocks

Chances are you've heard of The School of Hard Knocks. It's that place of education that you're thrown into against your will, and allowed to graduate from regardless of your grade point average.

The "SOHK" University, the school where you learn about life the hard way. It's that place where mistakes offer Master's degrees, and difficulties will earn you a Doctorate.

Yes, dealing with life can be down right exasperating at times, intense, a real battle. Seems like the harder you try, the harder it gets? Seems like each time you start trucking down your path to success, you get completely lost? Seems like you try to do good, but bad things always happen? You keep getting tripped up, ripped up, turned around, flattened out? You feel like that last difficulty was the final blow? Yeah? You're in The School of Hard Knocks.

Before you go to the after school pity party, take caution. That's the wrong sorority to join. You can start to feel sorry for the person you look at in the mirror each day, or start to take really good notes about yourself. You can sing sad songs and harmonize with the difficulties of life, or analyze where the problems strike a chord and learn from it. You can feel kicked and knocked around, or teach yourself to administer healing and remedies to your wounds, and your situations.The SOHK University is continuously giving you the opportunity to learn and grow, pass or fail.

Study is crucial, so study hard. Learn from your mistakes. Listen to your "instructors". Every situation teaches us something. Pay attention. Don't miss the obvious information that is right in front of you guiding you and giving you insight.

Don't be discouraged. Actually, you're in school with the most elite. The SOHK University's enrollment is full, and the cost is high. We pay a premium price for the wisdom we get at this school. Most often it's from our bank of blood, sweat and tears. However, if you can still get up and walk across the stage of life, then you made it. Stand, and hold your head up high.You may have to wait in line a very long time, but life is handing out degrees in TKO's and there's one with your name on it.


Sunday, October 4, 2009


Mr. President, Keep Your Eyes On The Prize

My heart is so saddened by all the recent controversy in regard to President Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. My personal opinion is that with all that the President HAS accomplished, should we be so surprised and critical? I wonder why we question the intelligence and impressions of the committee that chose to honor him? Just a few men who lack good judgement and common sense? I think not.

President Obama managed to rally millions to support him. We were of various races, ages, beliefs, ethnicities, cultures and backgrounds. Who else has done that so powerfully and efficiently recently? A few million of us gathered to see him sworn into office, joyfully, PEACEFULLY, pridefilled, and without incident, I might add. Many leaders around the world respect him, and are poised to consider his advances toward resolving world conflicts. Have we forgotten what his history-making, landmark achievement represents? I pray not.

He has said that he even thinks he is undeserving of the Nobel Peace Prize. I find his humility to be another asset to his character, however, I believe in the confidence of the committee and their desire to esteem him with such a prestigious recognition, and I am happy that I won't be one of the naysayers. I think Martin Luther King would be shaking his head at us in dismay right now. I can't say for sure, but I believe that he would respect the accomplishments and efforts of President Obama, and see them as a definite contribution to world peace. Will we falter right now in what we believe is to come by the time his tenure in office is done? I will not.

My message to President Obama would be to keep his eyes on the prize, that being accomplishing the vision you had in mind for this country and the people in it. The people who realize that your work is very difficult, and must be purposed, calculated and strategized, are still standing with you. Yes, I am also weary over the problems we have ongoing in our nation, but I did not lose faith in the government even before you came into office. We are still a very strong nation and I know you will help us to recover from many of our current dilemas.

I'm just sayin' many of us still believe in you, and feel you are so deserving of the honored Nobel Peace Prize. We see where you're going. Congratulations to you. We're so proud!


Size 16 is the new size 10, or something like that.

I'm guilty. I want to stay at a flattering weight and size, like most women in the world. Sometimes I obsess about it. It seems that whether we are a size 2 or 22, weight is always a struggle, and we struggle to be comfortable with ourselves overall as a result. I'm just sayin'...maybe it's about time stop the madness and weigh-in on what's really important. Maybe we should work more on making sure our self-esteem busting out at the seams.

O.K. So, now we know that Tyra Banks and Oprah Winfrey have nice heads of hair, all their own: BIG NEWS? I'm just sayin' we care? Didn't they know we loved them even when we didn't know this?

One of my new favorite shows is SHARK TANK. I'm just sayin'...these guys shoot straight from the hip. If you have a business idea that you are brave enough to convince them to believe in, you will walk away with incredible financial backing and support, or realize you've been wasting a lot of your time and your money on your efforts. They will give you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. If you can't take the shark "bites"...don't jump in. You'll be eaten alive. On the other hand, if they like your idea, and you can get them hooked....I'm just sayin'... you'll be swimming with the best. Love that show!




At this time of year when the weather is getting dry and cold, our skin tends to be rougher, dryer and flaky. Skin may feel "papery" and tight from lack of moisture, the most obvious signs seen on our hands, elbows and feet. However, your entire body may be craving some deeper moisturizing, too!

By nature the skin thickens in the wintertime to help protect you from the cold, and roughness and dryness follow as a matter of course. The perfect solution is a luxurious bath to aid in softening, smoothing and soothing that irritated skin. Taking the time to soak away the problem of dryness with a prepared bath loosens, relaxes and restores elasticity and moisture.

For the preparation, you will need a bath water product that is specifically developed for moisturizing, (rather than ordinary bubble bath, which is usually just liquid soap). Milk bath solutions are excellent, products that contain lanolin, mineral oils, emollients, aloe vera and such, offer deep body skin conditioning. The results: a smooth, silky feel to your body.

For extraordinary benefits, use a body scrub two or three times a week. Or, using a loofa sponge can give you fast, amazing results after only one use. Natural loofa products, those from the ocean plant, are very effective for removing dry surface skin. Soak in your favorite bath preparation for about ten minutes, then use your loofa sponge, gently massaging dry areas, such as feet knees, elbows and hands. Be sure to allow the sponge to soak prior to use as well to prevent any abrasions to the skin. Your skin will be soft and glowing!

Follow your luxury bath time with body cream or oil in your favorite scent. You need not be itchy or irritable from dry skin when relief is only a comforting bath away. Candles and company are optional.


IN YOUR BUSINESS Solving Workplace Worries


I work for a company that encourages employees to get together as a group to attend planned activities such as bowling, sports events, etc. They feel that this is a way of increasing team effectiveness, if we also participate in casual time together, too. My problem is that I never go to any of the events, which my department hosts about six times a year. I am wondering if I look like someone who is not a team player as a result? As much time as I spend at work with these people, I am really just not interested in this "casual time" together. What do you think?

Sales Division
Birmingham, AL

Dear Linda:

Let's look at the upside first: it really is prettty commendable that your company encourages this kind of regular synergy between employees. Obviously, they recognize that people who can play together will often work together much better, too. Our work relationships are so one-dimensional in that we only get to know people in their "work mode", which can be absent of the great personality factors we discover in casual situations.

Activities away from work allow us to see others more relaxed, and willing to be engaged in conversation that let us learn what kind of person they are as a friend, mom or dad, husband or wife, etc. We get to see other things about them, and experience them more "relationally" than we do during work hours (of course, sometimes that can be a bad thing). Overall, the ethic here is that building the casual relationships among the workers increases the productivity and satisfaction among them while on the job.

The downside is that you might experience negative situations that work out just the opposite. Not all employees shine outside of the workplace, even though they appear "sterling" while they are there. You can come away surprised and in dismay at "off-hours" antics.

In answer to your question, I think you should at least make an effort to attend one or two of the events, just to show you believe in the work/play ethic itself. Most of us have only "all work and no play" with our co-workers, so these planned activities really are a kind of cool opportunity to get to know each other on another level. While it may not be making you look bad by not attending, playing along with the team serves to make you look very good in the game.




"I think I will."  "Maybe I won't." "I probably should."  "If I do...well...I just don't know." "Just let the pieces fall where they may." Sound like you? The truth is, it sounds like just about all of us at some time or another. 

How do you feel about making decisions? Do you usually know what's right or best? Are you the kind of person who procrastinates and ponders? Are you someone who assuredly proceeds on the path that you think is the best choice?

Decisions can be very difficult. Some, if not most, require much time and effort. Many things that concern us need to be looked at inside and out. Our most important decisions require critical and analytical thinking to get the best results. 

The process can be grueling, until we master our critical thinking skills. We find that making the best decisions requires that we break down any situation into smaller "thought -size" pieces, even giving each point "microscopic" scrutiny in some circumstances.

Of course, sometimes, the smaller, less difficult decisions can often be made quickly. Without much consideration given to the outcome, we can anticipate from prior experience what the results could possibly be. If only all of life's decisions were so easy!

Unfortunately, all of life's decisions ARE NOT so easy, And, more unfortunately, sometimes we leave some of our vital decisions unaddressed for too long. What happens then? What happens is that a problem which may have been tackled and resolved, has now become a mammoth situation, and more difficult to manage.

Why do we do this? We often are intimidated by the change a decision can bring, or fearful of facing the consequences of our decisions. Even worse, we don't decide because we think we will make a wrong or bad choice. We duck and dodge some decisions because our lack of confidence in ourselves to do the right thing. We question ourselves and we questions ourselves, hoping to somehow discover what's "right".

While we struggle to know what to do, it's good for all of us to realize that we can't and will not always be right. We won't always make the best or correct decisions or choices. I've had to look face-to-face at bad decisions and wrong choices, and if you're like me, some of the resulting circumstances produced were none too kind and very hard to fix. That's the bad news, especially when your hope is that your "good" decision is supposed to be the "fix"! Wrong decisions happen though, and we just won't be on target every time. Even so, we can learn so much from our foibles, and our poor decision-making. 

Decision-making skill is often best developed when we make decision-making mistakes. If we choose the wrong thing a time or two, or twenty, we learn to be more careful and cautious. We also learn to use our acquired wisdom and "risk" analysis further down the road when tougher decisions need to be made.

Our confidence in ourselves and our decision-making grows, and our self-esteem strengthens when we begin to make better, bolder, and more accurate decisions. We feel self-assured about the results. And, even if it doesn't result in the manner we intended, we can still feel confident dealing with the damage that may result.

With all this in mind, certainly this "decision stuff" can be a risky business. Time can slip away. Opportunities can be lost. Things can go from critical to crisis. A situation can go from bad to worse. A little fire can become an inferno. Or, we can decide to take advantage of timing with confidence. We can decide to grasp opportunity fearlessly. We can decide to can take charge and manage your way through a hard process. We can decide to be a "fire-fighter" and "handle our business" with assertiveness and skill. Does all of this mean we could decide to exercise more control of our lives, affairs, and ourselves? Let me think...YES!.


Friday, September 4, 2009


Hello Friends!

I am so excited about this new venture! It's a phenomenal time to get on board, so I want to share the news with you!

If you've considered being your own boss, working your own hours and making really great money, I'd love to have you on my team!

I'll be glad to answer any of your questions personally. To contact me, please email me at and I will send you the business plan!

Your Partner in Success,

Silver Rae



Okay, I have to go there again: this poll stuff has me on edge. "President Obama's approval ratings are still dropping..." I'm just sayin', I'm still not sure who is being polled. Anyway, here's what I think: Barack Obama has been President for 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...7 1/2 months...and certainly that's plenty of time to solve all of the problems of the nation? C'mon, People. I'm just sayin' long does it take any of us to get through some of the most difficult situations in our own lives? It takes some time, even for small problems, right? So why is it that whoever these folks are that are being polled expect that the United States should be flipped back over, right side up, in less than 8 months? I don't feel this way just because I'm an African-American. It would not matter to me if whoever we elected was a white person, a black, brown, yellow, red, green or polka-dotted person, or someone from outer space, for that matter. I would vote for the candidate that I felt would do the right thing for our country regardless. Needless to say, though, I am agitated by the "poll message" stuff. I'm just sayin'...remember the poll that was taken on November 4, 2008? That poll put President Obama in the White House. Ask me again, and I'll say the same thing I did that day. He got my vote that day. He gets it today, too. I'm sure I speak for the majority.

What are you doing...?

I'm becoming quite fascinated with the whole social media craze, although I have to admit that I'm a late bloomer. By the time you tweet, FaceBook, get LinkedIn, chat, skype, etc., etc., etc.,...I'm just sayin'...some days it's waaaaaaaaaaay too much information.

The stage was waiting, Whitney! Welcome back!

It was so exciting to see Whitney Houston having so much fun on GMA this week! I was so pleased to see her on stage again! Later that day I actually heard some TV feedback criticizing her performance. I'm just sayin'...let's keep in mind that the real "come back" for her isn't only to the stage. She has made a come back from the grips of a terrible struggle, and that in itself is worth taking center stage! No one can take her place in the spotlight, in the hearts of those of us who have missed her so much. I'm just sayin'...if she had sung the Hokey-Pokey, I still would have been delighted. She's an awesome woman, in EVERY way!



Okay, so you made some plans. You worked your plan. You invested time and money, blood, sweat and tears. You just knew it was going to work. You believed it couldn't fail. After all, you did everything right. Then, you woke up one morning and found your dream dead as dead could be. It did not survive. It died in spite all of your unending efforts to keep it alive. So what do you do now, bury it? I say, NO!


If your dream has died, chances are you are broken and grieving. You may feel very sad that it seems that all you had hoped for now has to be buried in a grave place of non-existence where dead dreams lie to rest. You may be feeling like you can't move on in the direction of your hopes and plans. You may be feeling like you can't dream any more dreams. You may be feeling like the best thing to do is just forget it, and deal with it. Or, you could STOP THE FUNERAL, and realize that your dream needs motivation-to-mind resuscitation. Motivation-to-mind resuscitation? I'm glad you asked. It's when your motivation says you need to TRY AGAIN, and your mind responds accordingly with a big YES, I CAN STILL SEE IT! As tough as it may be, DREAMS CAN BE REVIVED. You can "breathe" into it once again, and give it new life. Mourn, cry, fret, fuss if you must, but stop the funeral!

Countless innovations, inventions and creations have come to fruition because tenacious individuals refused to let their dreams die. Many have risked all they had to give life to the things we enjoy everyday. Their dreams had power failures, periods of arrest, and spent time in "critical condition". Yes, many a dream has seen "the other side" and been at "death's door". But through furious, fervent faith and audacious attempts to stop it from dying, those who believed in their passion, their purpose and their dream, said "No, YOU WILL LIVE!"

Have you ever considered how many people may need your dream to live? Have you even considered how important or valuable your dream's contribution may be to many, or even the masses? Have you thought about what might happen if you go ahead with the funeral? How many others may be left mourning because your dream got buried, and they were never given the opportunity to be inspired or motivated by the life of it? What if your dream is the pathway to the future dreams of your family, your school, your church, community, the nation, or maybe even the world? What if you stop the funeral now, and start remembering the wonderful reasons you had the dream in the first place?  Remember when you said you were going to do big things? Remember when your idea was crystal clear, vibrant and full of vitality? Remember how much you believed in yourself and your success? You had reasons. You had purpose. You meant business.  

By now you get the point. However, I know you may be thinking that the desire just isn't there any longer. You've chased your fantasies, and you're tired. I understand. I am a true dreamer myself, and I really get it when you say "Enough already. I'm letting it go." Well, certainly desire can be a liar in some cases.  In other words, sometimes we dream the wrong stuff, for the wrong reasons. Those you can and should let go of. In fact, bury them fast. However, the kind of dreams I am speaking of in this commentary are the kind that make your heart feel full of "knowing" what you were meant to do, and what you were meant to accomplish.

KEEP TRYING. Sometimes that is all it takes to keep our dream from becoming a fatality. Wipe away your tears. Fight hard against your frustrations. Encourage yourself. Odd fate and failure happens to the best of us. That's not a good reason to bury your dream. I am a FIRM believer that we just can't let our most important dreams die no matter what!

There is  room for your dream to live in this big world of phenomenal and extraordinary happenings. It can thrive. It can matter. Stop the funeral now and start making other plans!


Wednesday, September 2, 2009


What Do You See?

Have you ever gotten up in the morning, looked in the mirror, wondering about who you really are, and how do you really fit in the scheme of things? That image says a lot more than just what you see, huh?

You know, we can wish, but there is no real magic to this life. We have no "abbra-ka-dabbra's" for making ourselves into celebrities, movies stars or for turning our lives into the likes of the rich and famous. Most of us are pretty ordinary people with ordinary lives, but most of us have extraordinary hopes, expectations and dreams.

It's a better idea to get up in the morning PLANNING what you want to become, DESIGNING your "place" in life. You should EVALUATE your talents, your gifts and your abilities and RECOGNIZE your potential and strengths. Grow very fond of that person who reflects back at you in the mirror. That person needs to be pampered by you constantly, so that he or she can reflect his or her best to the world.

The person looking back at you in the mirror should know you are their best friend. That person should know that he or she can depend on you when the chips are down, and that he or she will be there for you when no one else will be.

When it comes to getting up and looking at yourself in the mirror, life isn't so much about how beautiful or handsome you are. It's about what you see on the inside that should give you pride and confidence: a sense of security, commitment and direction, and knowing that where you fit in is a special place in life all your own. So, now look again. Hope. Dream. Expect. Yeah, that's what I call beautiful!

Life's many trials, twists and turns have an inevitable way of shaping us for good or bad, for better or for worse. Sometimes those difficulties and challenges can produce a "down and out" attitude. They can rob us of our self-esteem. They can cause us to view life from a very negative perspective. Since we can't always avoid difficulties, it makes sense to try to use them to our advantage. Yes, to our advantage. But,how do we do that?

We can either allow negative thinking to govern us, or we can choose to take a positive point of view, a futuristic and optimistic perspective in regard to ourselves and our desired outcomes. We could let negative thinking dictate and drown out all our dreams and hammer down all of our hopes, or grasp onto "possibility thinking" with all our might!

Many of us let negative thinking banish any ideas about how we should see ourselves, as the confident and capable individuals that we really are. We can begin to help ourselves by regulating our thinking with new and positive ideas so that we are not victims of the negative perceptions, but victorious over them.

We become our own worst enemy because we constantly beat ourselves down with negative talk and thinking. One of the reasons that we do this is because to change how we think and feel can be such a challenge in itself. To go from negative to positive requires awareness, effort and consistency.

We get frustrated with the idea of the "positive thinking" approach because we very often have to work with our thoughts and the things affecting them at the same time. You may be trying to really think positive and it doesn't appear that everyone and everything else is cooperating with you. The negative thoughts keep coming and it seems like things have not changed, and neither have you. We get frustrated with the effort because the visions and the negative thoughts keep popping into our heads.

As soon as they do, just keep reminding and reminding yourself of your new, positive outlook. Repetition is the key here. You will need to repeat things over and over to yourself until your attitude is affecting your actions, and until you are convinced of your great abilities and capabilities. Keep at it as long as it takes. You say you've tried and you think these methods are faulty because everything isn't positive just because you try to convince yourself that it is? Well, you are so right! It sure isn't. The key to positive thinking is taking a different perspective, and as someone once said "you will never develop eyestrain from developing the habit of looking on the brighter side of things."

There is a brighter side, even if it's not currently in perfect view.

So many things can cause negative thinking; failures, pain, lack of love and acceptance, insecurity and so on. The great news in that positive thinking can open your eyes and help you see a new direction. It can help to raise your level of understanding of who you are as a person and how very special you are. Try it. Try it, again. And, again. It will work for you. I'm positive that it will!



Working hard for the money...well, not so much.

I work for a manager who is responsible for getting our work load distributed to us daily. My group is usually under pressure to complete work assignments because the manager doesn't give us the work in a timely fashion. We have had complaints from our customers because we are late getting orders out. If she would do her job, we could all do ours on time. We are at the mercy of our manager's lack of concern and inefficiency. How can those of us in subordinate positions handle something like this?

Casey, Processing Dept.
Chicago, Ill

Dear Casey:

Here's a thought: remember, your manager works for someone, too. It's O.K. to alert your company to issues that you feel are effecting the productivity of your unit. It's sometimes necessary to inform your manager's boss about a situation like this one. Unfortunately, she may be passing the blame onto all of you for any negative feedback that may have come in from customers to the company, without your knowledge, not accepting the blame herself.

Oftentimes, those is higher up positions are not aware of the daily hands-on efforts of those who are working for them on other levels, and sometimes the problems can go unrecognized for a long time unless it's reported. I feel pretty certain that any credible company would want to know if a manager is slacking on the job, and thus creating difficulty with the services they provide.Try asking for a team meeting and see if everyone can get on the same page. Explain your concerns, and see if things get remedied that way. Otherwise, if the lazy-manager syndrome continues, report it. There is a chance your company will really appreciate you for it.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Did You Hear That? That's Opportunity Knocking!!

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Give Life Your Best Shot

Are you trying to give life your best shot, but somehow seem to keep missing the target? Does it seem like the harder you try, the harder it gets to live optimally and reach your goals?

Most of us would have to admit that life is sometimes a struggle. Surely most of us would also admit that we would like to get more out of life, but for reasons that we can't always understand, we often meet with trouble, turmoil, challenges and even defeat. We miss our targets.The "good life" is not within eye shot.

If there is any assurance that I can give you today, it is that you can survive and come out a winner. Think back. How many times have you thought you were incapable of getting past a particular difficulty or problem, but somehow you did? Maybe you didn't land exactly where you wanted to after the dust settled, but you survived.

Chances are your are stronger and more determined than you were then, too. So what if you have missed a target or two. That's O.K! Perhaps, things have weighed you down to a point where it seemed that you couldn't get from under the pressure, or the climb up the ladder has gotten tougher and tougher. Or you're sitll in the race, but you're running out of steam. It happens to all of us. Well, it is truly amazing what you can do if you believe you can. Everything happens. If you don't believe you can, those results are pretty amazing, too: nothing happens.

The key thing to do is not to dwell on the problems, but to GRASP onto the possibilities. HOLD on to positive thoughts. TALK about the things you CAN do, and the things that you are going to MAKE HAPPEN. TAKE ACTION in making change. FACE CHALLENGES with a strong will and motivation. Believe that you can do just about anything you try to!

Have the confidence that your faith in yourself CAN stomp out any negativity, any fear and any doubt. KNOW that you CAN be what you want to be. KNOW that you CAN do the things that you have always wanted to do.

The sooner you believe this, your target goals become clearer. You'll take solid hold of new ideas, and your aim will be more focused. The sooner you decide that your life, hopes and dreams are worth shooting for, the sooner you will declare "this time I'll hit the bull's eye!" The sooner you decide that you're going to give life your best shot, you'll aim high, and you won't miss!


Friday, August 14, 2009

Informative, Insightful and Intelligent Talk

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Hillary, was it a hot flash that caused you to lose your cool?

I had the best laugh watching that clip. That snap had to be the result of a hot flash. It was truly so out of character for Hillary. I'm just sayin'...a hot flash will make you want to slap somebody. They come on suddenly.There is no way out of it. You may exhibit unusual behavior and say strange things. One minute you're happy, smiling and in a "flash", there it is. I'm just sayin'...they can really mess with your attitude. MPW's (menopausal women), can you feel me on this one? Honestly, didn't she have that hot flash look on her face?


Congratulations to U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor! I'm just sayin' gotta love it! It's hard to believe that there was a time when women were not even allowed to vote, let alone hold such a prominent political office. We really have come a long way, Baby! Ole'!!!


People are so furious over the health care reform issues...all that rage, screaming and yelling ...I'm just sayin'...some of them won't have to worry about health care because they are going to give themselves a doggone fatal heart attack! For goodness sake, take a chill pill for now and let's see how everything shakes out in the morning.


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

FOXOLOGY: Bless Your Brick Walls

Have You Run Into A Brick Wall?

Life happens and sometimes, without fair warning, we run into a brick wall. We fall down. We cry. We let our dreams die. Just recently I smacked right into one. However, this time I wasn't so startled or stymied. This time I was able to walk away from the situation without any serious damage, thinking maybe this "collision" was necessary. Maybe, just maybe, it was for the best.

That kind of wisdom has come with a price. A few months ago, something happened that really helped me to look at brick walls quite differently. Since then, I think that brick walls may not always be a bad thing.

I want to share the sequence of events leading up to my revelation, just in case you've run into a brick wall and you're struggling with the reasons, and wondering why. I know this will help you. Here's my story:

Needless to say, along with all the other November 4th-ers, I was pretty excited on election day when my presidential choice got the overwhelming vote into the highest office in the land. For me, it was cause for celebration for more reasons than one. It was my birthday.
My heart knew that the only other gift to give myself was to get to Washington D.C. for the inauguration, so I started planning. Most hotels in the D.C. area were already booked, so I ended up with reservations in a wonderful but distant hotel location in Baltimore, 45 minutes from the Capitol. That was not a problem for me since I'm sort of a "road dog", and I love long, scenic drives, especially in areas that I haven't traveled before.

I knew the airports would be chaotic during that time, so I decided to take to the road and make the 800-mile trek across the country from the Midwest to D.C. No problem. I've driven thousands of miles up and down the country. I love it.

I invited my 77 year-old God Mother, Lois McKee, to come along as my driving companion for the trip. It meant so much to take her with me to witness the inauguration. I usually travel the roads alone, it's all a part of the "taking it all in" while I'm driving thing. That usually works best for me. When I drive alone I can think, plan and process without interruptions. This was different though. She is very spirited and an absolute delight to be around. I knew that being a part of this historic event meant as much, if not more, to her as it did to me. I also knew she would sleep most of the trip.

We were both anxious and excited as the days got closer. We had planned our trip around events we would be able to attend and really looked forward to all of the hoopla ahead. I had actually gotten a ticket from my Senator's office for the inauguration, which, unfortunately meant absolutely nothing once I got into the press of the crowd that was as equally determined to see this historic happening. It was every man, or woman for themselves.

We left Chicago around eight in the morning on the Sunday before the inauguration, and had a smooth trip, arriving in Baltimore around eight that night. We ordered room service, chatted for a bit and went to bed. Rising early on Monday, we dashed into the D.C. area to attend Rev. Al Sharpton's Prayer Breakfast at the downtown Hyatt. We were running a little late and the program was well underway by the time we arrived, but because Mother and Rev. Al are long-time "buds" we got in and got seated pretty much right away. There were several dignitaries, celebrities and recognizable folks there. So very cool!

Right after that event, I did a casual two-hour "what's going on in D.C." radio update over the phone to report to anxious listeners back home on the extraordinary "feel" in that was in air. While I was on the phone, ABC's David Muir glanced over at me as he was passing by. I smiled and waved an excited "Hey, that's David Muir!" wave. He smiled and waved back. WOW! I'm thinking everybody is here. This was really something! The excitement, pride and awe was so thick, you would have to be dead to not sense the power of it. It was so easy to translate it over the air. It was simply one of the most amazing experiences to be a part of, without a doubt.

While I did the radio show, Mother went on to another event for the afternoon with some friends at the breakfast. We planned to meet up later, but I got really bad directions trying to find the location and got really lost. I literally spent several hours stuck in traffic, which had gotten very crazy and nearly impossible to maneuver through. At one point I was lost in a residential area, and stuck behind this limousine. I'm waiting...waiting...waiting...then Donna Brazile comes out of the house. I rolled down my window to say "hey" to her, introduced myself, and told her how much I had been enjoying her analyst dialogs on TV. She told me that she was actually on her way to do another CNN interview. I told her that I enjoyed meeting her, and she went on her way. I was so glad that I had not honked at her driver.

At this point I feel the day is going pretty well, inspite of the traffic drama. I finally found the location of the event that my Mother had attended. I swooped her up and headed to Howard University for another terrific rally. This one was hosted by CNN's Roland Martin, with more of Mother's "buds", Rev. Jesse Jackson and Dr. Cornell West, who were special guests along with Rev. Al, Donna Brazile, and another saavy female journalist with the Washington Post, whose name I don't recall right now.

Some parts of the forum were broadcast live on CNN, showcasing the many young people who were ecstatic over the ideas and dialog about their new President. I kept looking at Roland thinking " I know that guy from somewhere besides CNN..." Later it occurred to me that I really did know him and his wife, Jacquie. She and I were both at the same church for years. Unfortunately, by the time I had connected the dots on that, it was too late to say "Hey, I know you!" I was well on my way back to Baltimore for the night. It had been a great rally, and a great day, and I knew this was going to be a great trip.

Being so unfamiliar with the area, I did not find my way to the correct highway immediately. It took me about thirty minutes, but I finally saw a sign that promised it would take me to Baltimore. I eased on down the highway, intently watching for the Baltimore exit. When I saw it, I signaled to get into the entry lane, which was to my left. I sighed a sigh of relief knowing that I would be back at the hotel within the hour.

That sense of relief was short-lived. In a split second, a speeding car that was trying to NOT take the exit, attempted to cross over into my lane to his right, directly in front of me as I was crossing into the same lane from my left. To avoid a tragic collision, I swung right.

The oncoming traffic to my right was trying to swerve to avoid colliding with me. I swung left trying to dodge the stream of oncoming vehicles. I lost complete control of the car with that twist of the steering wheel. It was evening, and I all I can remember is the bright white of oncoming headlights as my vehicle spun around twice in the middle of the freeway. Feeling totally helpless, I began to pray out loud, knowing that there was no other way out of this. It was over. My mother chimed in. There we were, both asking earnestly for the only intervention that could possibly save us.

As the car skidded off the road, we were headed head-on into a brick wall, still moving at a high speed. In a flash I turned the steering wheel hard and fast to the left in an attempt to save our lives. Instead of a head-on impact, my car responded to my hard pull and collided with the wall on the rear driver-side. The bang into the wall was fierce sounding and abrupt. I remember watching us in what seemed like slow motion being thrown forward and then back into an upright seated position.

I waited for a few seconds, to see if I was alive. Or hurt. I looked over at Mother after I realized that I was still breathing, and asked her if she was O.K. What a terrible rumble for a 77 year-old! She said yes, and that she felt fine. We were wearing our seat belts, or else I am sure we would have suffered some physical trauma, or worse.

I told her that I was going to get out and check the car. It was smashed, but not nearly as bad as I had thought it would be. I got back in, and started my ignition. It started after a little "gurgle" and I accelerated slowly to see if I would be able to drive away or not. Within seconds, we were back on the road to Baltimore. Amazingly, neither of us was visibly shaken, even though I knew I needed to get somewhere and sit down. We had not eaten since breakfast so we were both ready to get quiet, comfortable and reflect.

When we got to Baltimore, we went to a restaurant across the street from the hotel for dinner, and discussed the incredible event that we had just experienced. We were both very thankful to be sitting there, feeling fine, and uninjured. It was a miracle.

Many times since, I have pondered that accident. As I mentioned earlier, I travel a lot in my truck, miles and miles across the country. I have never had an accident. I thought of all the bridges I've crossed, the mountains I've driven through, the beautiful steep valleys I always enjoyed looking at. I've thought of all of the places that vehicle could have skidded off the road with no brick wall to stop it. I thought of how, on that particular day, that brick wall was there, and that brick wall was a blessing.

I've thought about all the times in my life when I hit a "brick wall" and that maybe those were blessings, too. We may never know some of the difficult circumstances that may have finished us off or done us in, but because there was a brick wall there, it stopped us from facing some other tragic outcome.

Yes, life is so very interesting and thought-worthy. Things will happen without any warning, and I've learned that I don't have to fall, cry, or let my dreams die as a result. I was very fortunate that I was able to drive my vehicle all the way back home, just as I have been fortunate to keep on truckin' in spite of life's hard, abrupt collisions. I've come away from them ultimately feeling fine, and safe. I had gone to Washington D.C. to celebrate my birthday and our new President. As well, I came away celebrating a brick wall as a blessing.

S.R. F.